Maybe you'll get what you want this time around...

[articdemon]

I have a reason. My own reasons. For doing things a certain way. For jumping the gun when I know I shouldn't. For making decisions on behalf of others. Its an affliction. At least my mind likes to say it is. My heart wants it to be it construed as a fair judgment call, needed at the time and dealt with in a timely manner.

Selfish. Matter of fact.

I attempt to close this gap/hole/chasm/rip in my head, only to be distracted by the one currently tearing at my heart. I should learn to multi-task better. It would come in handy when dealing with everyday situations that I tend to ignore. More to the point, I should learn not to compartmentalize situations so much. Emotion is needed to be normal. Right?

I only make jokes to distract myself...From the truth. A flashlight in need of the batteries.
Let my light shine.

I am not fragile, so why the fuck am I protecting myself so much?! I'm not made of glass & I will live on even without them. Their memories will remain fresh, never to rot or grow cold. Teachings etched in stone will guide me.

I lost 2 out of the 3 protectors. Its unfair. Its just. Its life.
Doesn't mean I have to like it or agree with it. I just need to adjust. Fuck that.

The trick is to keep breathing.
-L