To be candidly honest about the future; not spellchecked or proofread
Its one of those situations where you can't explain how you feel, but you still feel like giving it a feeble effort.
To be honest, I find that the future makes me uneasy and nervous. To be blatantly candid, I am absolutely scared for myself, but yet I am not able to reconciliate or even identity the epicenter of my emotions. I can't picture myself alone in a new city for some reason, which is the ultimate paradox of my situation. I want to be in a new city and feel what it is like, but I just wonder sometimes what it will be like to say goodbye to the people and places I love. Ok since I am already babbling truthfully, saying goodbye to people will kill me. Paint your own picture if you want to delve deeper into this dilemna.
College is scary to me. As I stare at the applications I feel like screaming, at 17 years old here I am filling out forms that will eventually spark the pro-creation known as Future and Career. I don't even know what I am going to do tomorrow let alone the future. I need to get back to myself, because upon reflection I truthfully feel that I have drifted away from myself. Sometimes its hard to believe the things I say. I need/ and or am experiencing a midlife crisis at 17. Journalism is so appealing to me but when I say that I know for a fact that I don't have the talent to make it, I feel I am being veracious in analysis. Simply put, I am not good enough to go anywhere in it. Time to digress on this topic.
Random Tangent 1: There is always somebody who will be better than you. I had a conversation about this today, and I just feel that its so relevant. Being overshadowed sucks, and it most likely has to do with the fact that so many people try to leave a legacy on so many things. Surely if I had it my way I would wish that I had legacy on something during the course of my adolesence. Anything. Time to get back on topic.
I honestly hope that when everything is resolved and I feel solace in my situation that people will remember who and what matters in life. I sound like a 19th century romantic saying things like this, but its true. One of my weaknesses is how much I care about people. I fall in love and can't get out, whether it be friends or a significant other. The way my clock ticks, time moves slowly, and I am frightened by the possibility that the people I love aren't the same. I know that when I leave I won't forget.
I guess thats what it is more than anything. We're all going our separate ways. I just hope that we all don't forget.
To be honest, I find that the future makes me uneasy and nervous. To be blatantly candid, I am absolutely scared for myself, but yet I am not able to reconciliate or even identity the epicenter of my emotions. I can't picture myself alone in a new city for some reason, which is the ultimate paradox of my situation. I want to be in a new city and feel what it is like, but I just wonder sometimes what it will be like to say goodbye to the people and places I love. Ok since I am already babbling truthfully, saying goodbye to people will kill me. Paint your own picture if you want to delve deeper into this dilemna.
College is scary to me. As I stare at the applications I feel like screaming, at 17 years old here I am filling out forms that will eventually spark the pro-creation known as Future and Career. I don't even know what I am going to do tomorrow let alone the future. I need to get back to myself, because upon reflection I truthfully feel that I have drifted away from myself. Sometimes its hard to believe the things I say. I need/ and or am experiencing a midlife crisis at 17. Journalism is so appealing to me but when I say that I know for a fact that I don't have the talent to make it, I feel I am being veracious in analysis. Simply put, I am not good enough to go anywhere in it. Time to digress on this topic.
Random Tangent 1: There is always somebody who will be better than you. I had a conversation about this today, and I just feel that its so relevant. Being overshadowed sucks, and it most likely has to do with the fact that so many people try to leave a legacy on so many things. Surely if I had it my way I would wish that I had legacy on something during the course of my adolesence. Anything. Time to get back on topic.
I honestly hope that when everything is resolved and I feel solace in my situation that people will remember who and what matters in life. I sound like a 19th century romantic saying things like this, but its true. One of my weaknesses is how much I care about people. I fall in love and can't get out, whether it be friends or a significant other. The way my clock ticks, time moves slowly, and I am frightened by the possibility that the people I love aren't the same. I know that when I leave I won't forget.
I guess thats what it is more than anything. We're all going our separate ways. I just hope that we all don't forget.