fic: trapped
Title: Trapped
Author: ArthurMerlin
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad Language
Words: ~700
Summary: The dragon attacks Camelot.
Notes:
I wrote a short fic in which Gaius is Victor Meldrew when Arthur returns from Avalon. This is a variation on that theme; I wondered what Camelot would have been like if Gaius had been just like Victor Meldrew. Arthur and Merlin together play the part of Margaret :-)
“Gorgeous,” Gaius said with a deep inhalation of the spring air, “the sort of day that actually makes you glad you’re alive!”
…
A Few Hours Later
“Oh God, I wish I was dead!” Gaius shouted, his arms crossed as he looked out of his chamber’s window. Outside the Great Dragon was torching parts of the lower town; the beginning of his assault upon Camelot.
“Whose bloody dragon is it, anyway?” he asked, frustration lining his voice.
“My father’s,” Arthur said as he stood beside Merlin a few steps behind Gaius, “He imprisoned it after the Great Purge, and kept it under the castle.”
“Well, he’s not done a very good job of it has he? Based on the principle of the idea of dragon-keeping is to get a dragon and keep it, not unleash it on the general public like the seven plagues of Egypt!”
Merlin suppressed a snigger, as Arthur looked rather crestfallen on his father’s behalf.
“Bugger off!” Gaius shouted out of the window as the dragon made a particularly close sweep towards his tower, “Go on, get away! This is my bloody tower, you’ll get the bloody hell out of here!”
“Well, that seems to have scared him off,” Merlin said with his own frustrated sigh at his grumpy old mentor. Arthur slung an arm around his shoulder, not caring that Gaius might see, and pulled him close to his side, gently hushing his beloved.
“If you’re quite finished, Gaius, I’ll…” Arthur started, but Gaius cut him off by grabbing a heavy bottle and throwing open the chamber’s window.
“Here he comes again, stand back! You cocky little bastard, come here with you!” the old man said as he threw the bottle at the dragon’s flank; it smashed on the hard scales but the dragon didn’t even seem to notice.
“You’re not coming round here matey, don’t think you are!” Gaius shouted as the dragon circled higher and back down towards the lower town.
Arthur squeezed Merlin gently as Gaius shut the window again and settled back into a frustrated posture.
“It isn’t even as if we can get a message out to anybody,” he said at last.
“Saying what?” Arthur asked quietly.
“Saying…” Gaius muttered under his breath as he spun around, eyes like fire burning into Arthur so startlingly that Arthur had to take a step back and Merlin moved slightly in front of him as if to defend his prince.
“Saying what? What the hell do you think it would say, 'send more dragons'?! 'Help' would be a start!” Gaius bellowed.
The room fell quiet again as the three of them watched the dragon flying around out the window.
“We’ll be in here for the rest of our lives,” Gaius complained.
“No!” Merlin shouted quickly, and too desperately, “You, come with me!” he said, dragging Arthur out of the room, leaving Gaius muttering to himself by the window.
…
Three Days Later
“Three and a half days…” Gaius said plaintively, “Three and a half days!”
Uther looked angry as he said quietly but firmly, “Gaius, are you just going to keep saying that?”
Gaius’ expression didn’t change, but he kept silent for a full minute, then…
“Three and a half days of absolute death!”
“Look,” Uther said with a sigh, “We’re lucky Arthur was able to slay the dragon when he did, just be glad it’s all over!”
Gaius was quiet again, before he shot up from the Council table and startled the other Councillors; “What’s that flapping noise?”
“Will you give it a rest!” Uther shouted.
…
Arthur and Merlin sat in Arthur’s chambers by the fire, Merlin curled up against Arthur.
“Thank God the dragon’s gone,” Arthur said into the stillness, “I don’t know how much more I could have taken of Gaius’ whinging.”
“Yes,” Merlin agreed, “I’d face a dragon’s wrath over Gaius’ any day.”
Arthur chuckled and kissed the top of Merlin’s head.
“Look on the bright side,” Arthur added thoughtfully, “we defeated a dragon, we actually defeated a fire-breathing monstrous dragon.”
Merlin laced his fingers through Arthur’s and looked at him fondly: “Together.”
Inspired by this scene from One Foot in the Grave:
Author: ArthurMerlin
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad Language
Words: ~700
Summary: The dragon attacks Camelot.
Notes:
I wrote a short fic in which Gaius is Victor Meldrew when Arthur returns from Avalon. This is a variation on that theme; I wondered what Camelot would have been like if Gaius had been just like Victor Meldrew. Arthur and Merlin together play the part of Margaret :-)
“Gorgeous,” Gaius said with a deep inhalation of the spring air, “the sort of day that actually makes you glad you’re alive!”
…
A Few Hours Later
“Oh God, I wish I was dead!” Gaius shouted, his arms crossed as he looked out of his chamber’s window. Outside the Great Dragon was torching parts of the lower town; the beginning of his assault upon Camelot.
“Whose bloody dragon is it, anyway?” he asked, frustration lining his voice.
“My father’s,” Arthur said as he stood beside Merlin a few steps behind Gaius, “He imprisoned it after the Great Purge, and kept it under the castle.”
“Well, he’s not done a very good job of it has he? Based on the principle of the idea of dragon-keeping is to get a dragon and keep it, not unleash it on the general public like the seven plagues of Egypt!”
Merlin suppressed a snigger, as Arthur looked rather crestfallen on his father’s behalf.
“Bugger off!” Gaius shouted out of the window as the dragon made a particularly close sweep towards his tower, “Go on, get away! This is my bloody tower, you’ll get the bloody hell out of here!”
“Well, that seems to have scared him off,” Merlin said with his own frustrated sigh at his grumpy old mentor. Arthur slung an arm around his shoulder, not caring that Gaius might see, and pulled him close to his side, gently hushing his beloved.
“If you’re quite finished, Gaius, I’ll…” Arthur started, but Gaius cut him off by grabbing a heavy bottle and throwing open the chamber’s window.
“Here he comes again, stand back! You cocky little bastard, come here with you!” the old man said as he threw the bottle at the dragon’s flank; it smashed on the hard scales but the dragon didn’t even seem to notice.
“You’re not coming round here matey, don’t think you are!” Gaius shouted as the dragon circled higher and back down towards the lower town.
Arthur squeezed Merlin gently as Gaius shut the window again and settled back into a frustrated posture.
“It isn’t even as if we can get a message out to anybody,” he said at last.
“Saying what?” Arthur asked quietly.
“Saying…” Gaius muttered under his breath as he spun around, eyes like fire burning into Arthur so startlingly that Arthur had to take a step back and Merlin moved slightly in front of him as if to defend his prince.
“Saying what? What the hell do you think it would say, 'send more dragons'?! 'Help' would be a start!” Gaius bellowed.
The room fell quiet again as the three of them watched the dragon flying around out the window.
“We’ll be in here for the rest of our lives,” Gaius complained.
“No!” Merlin shouted quickly, and too desperately, “You, come with me!” he said, dragging Arthur out of the room, leaving Gaius muttering to himself by the window.
…
Three Days Later
“Three and a half days…” Gaius said plaintively, “Three and a half days!”
Uther looked angry as he said quietly but firmly, “Gaius, are you just going to keep saying that?”
Gaius’ expression didn’t change, but he kept silent for a full minute, then…
“Three and a half days of absolute death!”
“Look,” Uther said with a sigh, “We’re lucky Arthur was able to slay the dragon when he did, just be glad it’s all over!”
Gaius was quiet again, before he shot up from the Council table and startled the other Councillors; “What’s that flapping noise?”
“Will you give it a rest!” Uther shouted.
…
Arthur and Merlin sat in Arthur’s chambers by the fire, Merlin curled up against Arthur.
“Thank God the dragon’s gone,” Arthur said into the stillness, “I don’t know how much more I could have taken of Gaius’ whinging.”
“Yes,” Merlin agreed, “I’d face a dragon’s wrath over Gaius’ any day.”
Arthur chuckled and kissed the top of Merlin’s head.
“Look on the bright side,” Arthur added thoughtfully, “we defeated a dragon, we actually defeated a fire-breathing monstrous dragon.”
Merlin laced his fingers through Arthur’s and looked at him fondly: “Together.”
Inspired by this scene from One Foot in the Grave:
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