no womern can resist my chart-toppin' good looks and sangin' 'bilities
I don't normally try this kinda mess, but I guess I'll give it a shawwwt. Yeah, unreasonably obsessed with Unknown Hinson presently. I listen to that album generally two or three times a day, it's sorta ridiculous. But, yeah, for those unfamiliar, he's the chart-topping King of Country Troubadours. And also a vampire. Sorta. And also the creepiest musician ever, and I'm just coming off a Deadbolt ("the scariest band in the world") obsession, so I should know. Marvelous backwoods Southern accent, with "woman" coming out "womern" and that sorta thing. Generally sings about creepily stalking and/or abusing womerns. Which sounds horrible, granted, but it comes out funny (albeit still really creepy) with the whole vampire thing and the accent and the way he does it.
(off the top of my head, so approximate)
Interviewer: You've gone on record as saying you dislike today's generation of rock musicians. What do you like?
Unknown Hinson: I like a nice sunset. I like the sound of a caaaarnival. It's a purty sound. I...I like the way a new pair of Cuban-heeled, EYEtalian leather boots fits. I like my chart-toppin' hair, which the good Lawwrd gave me. I like my chart-toppin' eyebrows and chart-toppin' teeth, which you've already seen. I like the sound of a door slammin' shut. I like the sound of a lock...tumblin' in a door. I like the sound of a womern...screaming...with pleasure.
Named after his parents. Mother: Mrs. Hinson. Father: Unknown. Convicted of three counts of murder one and various grave-robbing charges. Etc etc.
Actually some apparently quite nice former music teacher, though. Least, before he stopped admitting he's a character. Authorized some local womern's abuse clinic to show clips from his TV show to demonstrate the ridiculousness of misogynist attitudes. Etc.
Claimed, again, before he stopped admitting he's a character, to be sorta a character of warning. I believe the quote was "I've seen plenty of real Unknown Hinsons in my travels." Accordingly, I guess he's sorta ideologically parallel to the classical function of the clown/jester figure, bringing up the dark/uncivilized side of human nature.
Regardless, he's awesome.
Speaking of awesome, look at the birthday cake Andy gave me:
(off the top of my head, so approximate)
Interviewer: You've gone on record as saying you dislike today's generation of rock musicians. What do you like?
Unknown Hinson: I like a nice sunset. I like the sound of a caaaarnival. It's a purty sound. I...I like the way a new pair of Cuban-heeled, EYEtalian leather boots fits. I like my chart-toppin' hair, which the good Lawwrd gave me. I like my chart-toppin' eyebrows and chart-toppin' teeth, which you've already seen. I like the sound of a door slammin' shut. I like the sound of a lock...tumblin' in a door. I like the sound of a womern...screaming...with pleasure.
Named after his parents. Mother: Mrs. Hinson. Father: Unknown. Convicted of three counts of murder one and various grave-robbing charges. Etc etc.
Actually some apparently quite nice former music teacher, though. Least, before he stopped admitting he's a character. Authorized some local womern's abuse clinic to show clips from his TV show to demonstrate the ridiculousness of misogynist attitudes. Etc.
Claimed, again, before he stopped admitting he's a character, to be sorta a character of warning. I believe the quote was "I've seen plenty of real Unknown Hinsons in my travels." Accordingly, I guess he's sorta ideologically parallel to the classical function of the clown/jester figure, bringing up the dark/uncivilized side of human nature.
Regardless, he's awesome.
Speaking of awesome, look at the birthday cake Andy gave me: