LASER EYES!!
Yes! It is exciting! After twenty years of increasingly-worse vision, I can finally see clearly!
I was blind enough that without my glasses, I couldn't recognize people further than six inches away. If I forgot where I set my glasses or if they fell down from there, away went half an hour feeling around for them, shuffling my feet so I didn't step on them by accident. High prescriptions take expensive high-index lenses to avoid Coke-bottling, and even with those, I had to get tiny frames to keep the lens at a reasonable thickness. With the small frames, I only had one central zone of clarity, with no peripheral vision. Plus, children's glasses don't often come with sunglasses options, so in the summer, I was at the mercy of the sun.
I was too blind to get colored contacts, or those fun cat-eye ones. And regular contacts never stopped hurting: not the gas-permeables I tried in fourth grade, not the soft lenses I wore in high school, not even the disposable soft lenses I wore as an adult. I could only wear them for a few hours before my eyes rebelled, refusing to take more rewetting drops or let me keep them in any longer. Without contacts to aid me, I was forced into blindness while swimming; anyone I went swimming with had to speak for me to find them.
Are these terrible trials? Of course not. But now, with my brand-new LASER EYEBALLS, I can see things unaided! And I'm discovering, after years of being a Highly Myopic Person, that my life is better in a hundred tiny ways. Like cooking my own dinner WITH MY EYES!
I was blind enough that without my glasses, I couldn't recognize people further than six inches away. If I forgot where I set my glasses or if they fell down from there, away went half an hour feeling around for them, shuffling my feet so I didn't step on them by accident. High prescriptions take expensive high-index lenses to avoid Coke-bottling, and even with those, I had to get tiny frames to keep the lens at a reasonable thickness. With the small frames, I only had one central zone of clarity, with no peripheral vision. Plus, children's glasses don't often come with sunglasses options, so in the summer, I was at the mercy of the sun.
I was too blind to get colored contacts, or those fun cat-eye ones. And regular contacts never stopped hurting: not the gas-permeables I tried in fourth grade, not the soft lenses I wore in high school, not even the disposable soft lenses I wore as an adult. I could only wear them for a few hours before my eyes rebelled, refusing to take more rewetting drops or let me keep them in any longer. Without contacts to aid me, I was forced into blindness while swimming; anyone I went swimming with had to speak for me to find them.
Are these terrible trials? Of course not. But now, with my brand-new LASER EYEBALLS, I can see things unaided! And I'm discovering, after years of being a Highly Myopic Person, that my life is better in a hundred tiny ways. Like cooking my own dinner WITH MY EYES!