Music can answer any question.
Ok.. so I know it has been a while since I last posted. Ok, a loonng while. Sorry about that. I am not even going to bother updating everyone about everything since I last posted because it has been too long. Basically I am working for my dad at the motorcycle shop for now and trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life. About three weeks ago, I made one big decision about the rest of my life. Sarah has referenced it already. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. No gasps of surprise or concern please. It was a well thought out decision and I am happy. For the first time in a long time I can say I am really happy.
I have been asked though, many times, why. It is hard to sum up every reason why into a quick answer. I have gotten crazy looks and "friends" asking my friends why I did it and if everything is ok. But I have also gotten support from some very key people in my life and for that I am so grateful. It is very comforting to have someone tell you that you did the right thing when you make a life-changing move. I was listening to one of my old Matchbox Twenty cds the other day... and I came across two songs that sort of answer the 2 most common questions that I get... why? and why so sudden?. If you are interested, here are the songs...
Bed of Lies (it answers the why)
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
I don't think that I can take another empty moment
I don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
Well it's not enough just to be lonely
Don't think that I could take another talk about it
Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away and we've softly surrendered
to these lives that we've tendered away
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Cause I can
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
I tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away and we've only surrendered
to the worst part of these winters that we've made
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Cause I can
Rest Stop (it answers the why and the why so quick)
Just three miles from the rest stop
And she slams on the breaks
She said I tried to be but I'm not
So could you please collect your things
I don't wanna be cold
I don't wanna be cruel
But I gotta find more than what's happening with you
and if you'd open up the door
She said- While you were sleeping
I was listening to the radio
and wondering what you're dreaming
When it came to mind that I didn't care
And I thought- Hell if its over
I had better end it quick or I could lose my nerve
Are you listening
Can you hear me
Have you forgotten
Just three miles from the rest stop
And my mouth's too dry to rage
The light was shining from the radio
And I could barely see her face
But she knew all the words that I never had said
She knew the crumpled up promise of this broken down man
and as I opened up the door
She said- While you were sleeping
I was listening to the radio
and wondering what you're dreaming
When it came to mind that I didn't care
So I thought- Hell if its over
I had better end it quick or I could lose all my nerve
Are you listening
Can you hear me
Have you forgotten
So I guess what I am trying to say is.. I made the right choice. I know I did and it feels good to finally do something about something that hasn't been right in a while. I will try to post more soon.
I have been asked though, many times, why. It is hard to sum up every reason why into a quick answer. I have gotten crazy looks and "friends" asking my friends why I did it and if everything is ok. But I have also gotten support from some very key people in my life and for that I am so grateful. It is very comforting to have someone tell you that you did the right thing when you make a life-changing move. I was listening to one of my old Matchbox Twenty cds the other day... and I came across two songs that sort of answer the 2 most common questions that I get... why? and why so sudden?. If you are interested, here are the songs...
Bed of Lies (it answers the why)
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
I don't think that I can take another empty moment
I don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
Well it's not enough just to be lonely
Don't think that I could take another talk about it
Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away and we've softly surrendered
to these lives that we've tendered away
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Cause I can
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
I tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away and we've only surrendered
to the worst part of these winters that we've made
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
so toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Cause I can
Rest Stop (it answers the why and the why so quick)
Just three miles from the rest stop
And she slams on the breaks
She said I tried to be but I'm not
So could you please collect your things
I don't wanna be cold
I don't wanna be cruel
But I gotta find more than what's happening with you
and if you'd open up the door
She said- While you were sleeping
I was listening to the radio
and wondering what you're dreaming
When it came to mind that I didn't care
And I thought- Hell if its over
I had better end it quick or I could lose my nerve
Are you listening
Can you hear me
Have you forgotten
Just three miles from the rest stop
And my mouth's too dry to rage
The light was shining from the radio
And I could barely see her face
But she knew all the words that I never had said
She knew the crumpled up promise of this broken down man
and as I opened up the door
She said- While you were sleeping
I was listening to the radio
and wondering what you're dreaming
When it came to mind that I didn't care
So I thought- Hell if its over
I had better end it quick or I could lose all my nerve
Are you listening
Can you hear me
Have you forgotten
So I guess what I am trying to say is.. I made the right choice. I know I did and it feels good to finally do something about something that hasn't been right in a while. I will try to post more soon.