(no subject)
Hello Livejournal, My Old (very old) friend. It's me, the obnoxious girl that can't control her feelings or get out of unhealthy relationships because she's innately self destructive.
Unrequited love, I'm so sick of being the friend that is just off of anything desirable. The girls you like look like me. I go on dates and I talk to people because I feel like I have to, but I am constantly comparing them to you. I am looking for you and you are looking for me, only pretty. Only more unattainable. Only more. Only more. So many stories about the boy/girl finally realizing that they loved their best friend the whole time? Bullshit. Sometimes I don't understand how you can wrestle with me, cuddle with me, bite me, but you can't kiss me. Then other times when I literally feel like a toy, I understand how you could never see me as a sexual creature. It is difficult to be a positive person when I'm constantly reminded that I will never be good enough for you. I will never be the one you want to take home, I'm just the one you come home to when you can't find someone else. I guess that's what friends are for? This illusion will come crashing down and I can't seem to think that it will phase you in the least, but someday I will be happier for being far away from you.
Unrequited love, I'm so sick of being the friend that is just off of anything desirable. The girls you like look like me. I go on dates and I talk to people because I feel like I have to, but I am constantly comparing them to you. I am looking for you and you are looking for me, only pretty. Only more unattainable. Only more. Only more. So many stories about the boy/girl finally realizing that they loved their best friend the whole time? Bullshit. Sometimes I don't understand how you can wrestle with me, cuddle with me, bite me, but you can't kiss me. Then other times when I literally feel like a toy, I understand how you could never see me as a sexual creature. It is difficult to be a positive person when I'm constantly reminded that I will never be good enough for you. I will never be the one you want to take home, I'm just the one you come home to when you can't find someone else. I guess that's what friends are for? This illusion will come crashing down and I can't seem to think that it will phase you in the least, but someday I will be happier for being far away from you.