“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience
It isn’t more complicated that that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”
I feel I have made a great effort over the last year or more to keep these things in mind while simultaneously attempting to hone the skills and confidence that I had built, stolen, faked, and planted in my five years of separation from a constructive social environment. But moving forward at such speed that there’s no need to swallow guilt or value mistrust until given pause at the station inevitably leads back round to the point of entry. Deja Vecu; I have been here before. There are definite circular patterns that permeate my mental stability and growth, for better or worse, and I am unsure whether being able to see them has actually done me any more good than it has done absolutely nothing to stem the flow of the low. I am not a new person, I have merely been revealed, refreshed, revived, refitted. I am spoiled with good company. I am no longer afraid to seek that company out of fear. I do not fear who I am. I do, though, fear that I will be dissected, explored, reconstructed, rearranged, unhinged, and left to pick up my own pieces. I expect that there will be a day that I am exposed for the mental/emotional voyeur that I am. Until that day, I will keep moving forward. Even after, I will keep moving forward.
“These teachings are like a raft, to be abandoned once you have crossed the flood.
Since you should abandon even good states of mind generated by these teachings,
How much more so should you abandon bad states of mind!”