Interestingly refreshing
-That's what home is like right now. I'm over a week home now and I'm happy to be here for the first time in quite a while. It might be because I was constantly around people in Houston and, honestly, there was no time for Chris. It was always dinner with the group, doing my own thing on my computer with my roomate nearby, or working with norm or brent nearby cracking jokes about my backward new york ways (I miss those guys).
-Granted I come home and spend every waking moment doing one of two things - a) Working at the hardware store, b) Doing stuff with my parents. There's something far more isolated about those two things though. Being with my parents is cool, often dealing with shallow pleasures, corny jokes, and talk about the future. Nothing REALLY deep ever comes up, it's very goal oriented around them. And then at work, well, you know how work is. Joke about this thing, ring up that person, talk to so-and-so about that fuck who decided he didn't think i was good enough to help him replace his light switch even though he can't turn a screwdriver. The way it all pans out though, I'm often wrapped up in my own thoughts about whatever while i'm doing all these things. It's good though, because I often feel inclined to spill myself to other people when i'm around my good friends (aka swat people and the REU people in Houston). As long as these people aren't around, i can mull things over a lot better in my head and make some good sense of things. Then, of course, i'll run away to swat and my head will get all confused because i'll start telling people things and getting advice from so-and-so and that's basically the end of my self-discovery trip. It's just different at swat, not necessarily better or worse. I need the best of both worlds.
-I think the best thing i'll come away with this summer is confidence. I feel much better about myself and my abilities and my qualities. I've hardened up to people I deem unimportant and softened up with people deemed otherwise. I feel less irritable, healthier (due in part to gym going while in houston - I intend on continuing that at swat), and less prone to worry. I think it's going to be a great senior year.
-I'm going up to see andrew in maine on sunday. We're seeing dream theater on tuesday night, and doing whatever in between. That's my "vacation" basically (meaning "time when i don't work). I leave maine on wednesday and then to go south-central Pennsylvania to fly-fish with my dad and my brother for a few days. Then we'll to go a car show and come home. Once arriving home, i'll basically have a week left until i go back to Swat. So, all I have to do is plow through the next 4 days of work, then i'm basically free (I have one day of work after i get back, but that's no big deal). I have that last week to paint the garage, which should be fun when enhanced with Eric Johnson or something equally electric.
-My feeling on returning to swat are mixed. I want to go back to see certain people, do certain things, and return to a certain style of life I can only have away from home. At the same time, I'm a little tired of swat culture and have little room left in my heart for it to give me any pangs of nostalgia. This could be bad because i'll probably regret feeling this way after I graduate and reflect on college. Still, you can't really change how you feel in the moment - best you can do is roll with it. So that's what I will do.
-I was just talking to andrew about this, and I came up with a great analogy for swat. It's like a crafty little man (or woman...) that stalks you when you leave it's home. If you can ditch it for a little while, that's good. Sometimes, though, it's craftier than you and you basically stand no chance of escaping its glare.
-Granted I come home and spend every waking moment doing one of two things - a) Working at the hardware store, b) Doing stuff with my parents. There's something far more isolated about those two things though. Being with my parents is cool, often dealing with shallow pleasures, corny jokes, and talk about the future. Nothing REALLY deep ever comes up, it's very goal oriented around them. And then at work, well, you know how work is. Joke about this thing, ring up that person, talk to so-and-so about that fuck who decided he didn't think i was good enough to help him replace his light switch even though he can't turn a screwdriver. The way it all pans out though, I'm often wrapped up in my own thoughts about whatever while i'm doing all these things. It's good though, because I often feel inclined to spill myself to other people when i'm around my good friends (aka swat people and the REU people in Houston). As long as these people aren't around, i can mull things over a lot better in my head and make some good sense of things. Then, of course, i'll run away to swat and my head will get all confused because i'll start telling people things and getting advice from so-and-so and that's basically the end of my self-discovery trip. It's just different at swat, not necessarily better or worse. I need the best of both worlds.
-I think the best thing i'll come away with this summer is confidence. I feel much better about myself and my abilities and my qualities. I've hardened up to people I deem unimportant and softened up with people deemed otherwise. I feel less irritable, healthier (due in part to gym going while in houston - I intend on continuing that at swat), and less prone to worry. I think it's going to be a great senior year.
-I'm going up to see andrew in maine on sunday. We're seeing dream theater on tuesday night, and doing whatever in between. That's my "vacation" basically (meaning "time when i don't work). I leave maine on wednesday and then to go south-central Pennsylvania to fly-fish with my dad and my brother for a few days. Then we'll to go a car show and come home. Once arriving home, i'll basically have a week left until i go back to Swat. So, all I have to do is plow through the next 4 days of work, then i'm basically free (I have one day of work after i get back, but that's no big deal). I have that last week to paint the garage, which should be fun when enhanced with Eric Johnson or something equally electric.
-My feeling on returning to swat are mixed. I want to go back to see certain people, do certain things, and return to a certain style of life I can only have away from home. At the same time, I'm a little tired of swat culture and have little room left in my heart for it to give me any pangs of nostalgia. This could be bad because i'll probably regret feeling this way after I graduate and reflect on college. Still, you can't really change how you feel in the moment - best you can do is roll with it. So that's what I will do.
-I was just talking to andrew about this, and I came up with a great analogy for swat. It's like a crafty little man (or woman...) that stalks you when you leave it's home. If you can ditch it for a little while, that's good. Sometimes, though, it's craftier than you and you basically stand no chance of escaping its glare.