(no subject)
So I think I've figured this out. Partly at least. I am sad, because I am alone. I'm single because I don't just want someone who wants me. I want someone who wants me, and who I want just as much. I haven't found that yet. I'm terrified that I'm not going to find that. Ever. Part of me knows I'm stupid for being that melodramatic. The other part sees people all around me, happy in love with one another. I miss being that happy. That blissfully, blindly in love happy.
I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. Sometimes, I think I'm not. Other times, when I see his picture, I'm not so sure anymore. Everyone once in a while, I'll open a drawer, or a cabinet and find something with his name on it, something that he gave me. And I catch my breath. The pain is still real. But will it ever not be? I hope so. I know you're supposed to grow and learn from the pain of your first love....but I think I just want to forget it. Or not. I don't know anymore.
Plus side of things: I only have 2 weeks left with Starbucks!!!! Thank god!!! I'm going to miss my coworkers though...I really really enjoy them all.
I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. Sometimes, I think I'm not. Other times, when I see his picture, I'm not so sure anymore. Everyone once in a while, I'll open a drawer, or a cabinet and find something with his name on it, something that he gave me. And I catch my breath. The pain is still real. But will it ever not be? I hope so. I know you're supposed to grow and learn from the pain of your first love....but I think I just want to forget it. Or not. I don't know anymore.
Plus side of things: I only have 2 weeks left with Starbucks!!!! Thank god!!! I'm going to miss my coworkers though...I really really enjoy them all.