(no subject)
I'm just speechless. The idea of going to a mall was a great idea- it gave us something to do without having to stand awkwardly staring at each other. Nicole is very nice, I didn't mind there being someone else with us. It somehow devolved into me standing awkwardly in someone I'd just met's living room crying because it was too much stress standing in a closed office watching someone else clean. I'm sorry, I just worked all day at a job that i've been having a lot of issues with. I -flew- out to get there around a good-ish time. I was much more interested in interaction and when I'm in a new situation with new people I start to panic due to the lack of familiarity and I stop talking/interacting. I wish we'd just gone straight to the mall, we did pretty ok at the start of the visit. I really want to make this work.
God hates a coward, so what am I being a coward from? I didn't feel comfortable discussing things in front of Faithe's cousin, and Faithe seemed interested in hanging out with her so I wasn't going to take that away.
-It hurts feeling like a fleeing distraction
-It hurts going from an important part of someones life to an inconsiquential.
-New environment/people
-Change of plans- I was really hoping to buy a different shirt for my interview on Tuesday.
-Hearing Faithe say that Nicoles home was her second home. That's been said about my home by her.
-Feeling like I don't matter to her when I'm upset. I've cried and been upset about this WAY more than she has.
El Fin. I don't care who reads this, it was written for a private entry, but god hates a coward, sunny.
God hates a coward, so what am I being a coward from? I didn't feel comfortable discussing things in front of Faithe's cousin, and Faithe seemed interested in hanging out with her so I wasn't going to take that away.
-It hurts feeling like a fleeing distraction
-It hurts going from an important part of someones life to an inconsiquential.
-New environment/people
-Change of plans- I was really hoping to buy a different shirt for my interview on Tuesday.
-Hearing Faithe say that Nicoles home was her second home. That's been said about my home by her.
-Feeling like I don't matter to her when I'm upset. I've cried and been upset about this WAY more than she has.
El Fin. I don't care who reads this, it was written for a private entry, but god hates a coward, sunny.