You just be the best fucking cookie you can be...
So before rehearsal today, somebody said the phrase "totally awesome" in the Draco voice with the rocker hands, and then half the people in the show started singing the opening number. It made me so happy you just have no idea. We've decided to screw the Beauty and the Beast thing, and we're going to do that show instead. Just so you all know. It's gonna be...oh, hell, I don't have to say it. [Okay, maybe not really. But there is totally a plan forming to do the opening number at Frolics next year XD.]
Oh, and Allie and I are married. Officially. We'll just have to respect each other's decisions to fawn over Gaston copiously, because Evelyn will steal the Traveling Shovel of Death and beat us with it if we don't. In any case, we're going to be cupcakes or cookies or something in "Be Our Guest." And during the dance break that's evil and doom-like for everybody else, we're going to stand around and wave our cookie arms around and shake our cookie hips and be the best fucking cookies we can be. Or something.
OKAY so Emily was outside because there were five deer in the yard and she was investigating. And she just came back in and told me that they were out there mating. AUGH DEER SEX ON MY LAWN AUGH.
This paragraph starts with no prefacing words such as "okay" or "so." I'm so proud of myself.
I was thinking the other day, and I've decided that I don't want to go to college or get a job or get married or have 2.5 kids or any of that. I want to be a pirate. And not the boring modern pirates off in Singapore or whatever smuggling heroine. I'm going to be a real fucking pirate with a crazy beautiful ship and a shiny hat and a crew of questionable but ultimately moral and endearing comrades and you guys can all come if you want. Drink up, me harties, yo ho. Rig the sails and pour the rum and let's rock the hell out. If, indeed, pirates do such things as "rocking the hell out."
Make sure you check out the song I list below, especially if you're feeling mentally stable enough to handle something really sad. And for the full effect, you need to listen to it all the way through, with no background noise, through headphones that work on BOTH sides. This is very important. If you use broken fuzzy speakers while a small child screams for no reason, I WILL KNOW.
Oh god. Did I really just write that pirate paragraph? I need to go to bed now. Goodnight darlings.
Oh, and Allie and I are married. Officially. We'll just have to respect each other's decisions to fawn over Gaston copiously, because Evelyn will steal the Traveling Shovel of Death and beat us with it if we don't. In any case, we're going to be cupcakes or cookies or something in "Be Our Guest." And during the dance break that's evil and doom-like for everybody else, we're going to stand around and wave our cookie arms around and shake our cookie hips and be the best fucking cookies we can be. Or something.
OKAY so Emily was outside because there were five deer in the yard and she was investigating. And she just came back in and told me that they were out there mating. AUGH DEER SEX ON MY LAWN AUGH.
This paragraph starts with no prefacing words such as "okay" or "so." I'm so proud of myself.
I was thinking the other day, and I've decided that I don't want to go to college or get a job or get married or have 2.5 kids or any of that. I want to be a pirate. And not the boring modern pirates off in Singapore or whatever smuggling heroine. I'm going to be a real fucking pirate with a crazy beautiful ship and a shiny hat and a crew of questionable but ultimately moral and endearing comrades and you guys can all come if you want. Drink up, me harties, yo ho. Rig the sails and pour the rum and let's rock the hell out. If, indeed, pirates do such things as "rocking the hell out."
Make sure you check out the song I list below, especially if you're feeling mentally stable enough to handle something really sad. And for the full effect, you need to listen to it all the way through, with no background noise, through headphones that work on BOTH sides. This is very important. If you use broken fuzzy speakers while a small child screams for no reason, I WILL KNOW.
Oh god. Did I really just write that pirate paragraph? I need to go to bed now. Goodnight darlings.