be comfortable in silence / if only

[artemis32]

this isn't about me
this isn't about you.
I just want to listen.
I don't want to speak
to say another word
how can this be so
all I am is tired
tired of trying too hard
tired of giving my all
for what,
in return?
I haven't moved an inch
barely brushed the dusk.
There is so much more to say
so many more to see
but all I can think of now
is how it ought to be.
Ridiculous,
I know.
But I will take the blame.
I'm tired of being judged
I'm tired of thinking, really.
I tear myself apart
won't give myself a chance
all I want is answers
to those questions I always ask;
Where is it you're going,
what do you truly want?
a lack
of comfort in uncertainty
of direction.
This persistent struggle
this uncertainty,
you think you know one thing
but all you have is questions;
things you'd like to say.
I'm holding it all back now
it doesn't really matter,
fluid or not,
I can not find the answer.