(no subject)
Andrea, on her husband: I don't like it when he gets bored when we're shopping. He puts bras on his head.
Andrea, getting up to do yet ANOTHER thing instead of grading: WHY IS THE PROCRASTINATION SO STRONG IN THIS ONE??
Andrea, reading off a student's paper (it's supposed to translate the "to be" speech from Hamlet into modern English): Why deal with the insolence of office and the people who work in that office?
Ashley: How many of those do you have to grade?
*long silence. Ashley looks up. Andrea is giving her a death glare.*
Andrea, terribly excited: I caught the elevator just as the door was closing, and caught Dr. AR coloring in one of the teeth on the Mama Mia poster! I always thought it was stupid undergrads that were doing that-nope! it's tenured faculty!
Discussing our annoying downstairs neighbor, Pearl.
Leah: don't you understand? *holds hands out in a large ball* Universe. *points to the center of the ball* Pearl.
Ashley: You mean the world is her oyster?
Ashley: I was naughty this morning.
Andrea: *in voice of longsuffering* What did you do?
Ashley: I was looking at an "ask Ichabod" blog, and they didn't know much about the 18th century, and I thought, *I* could do a better "ask Ichabod" blog than that!
Ashley: …
Andrea: DID YOU START-
Ashley: I STARTED AN ASK ICHABOD BLOG!
later:
Andrea: *muttering* I can't believe you started another fandom thing. "I did a naughty thing" for me means "I bought something on the internet." For you it means, "I started another creative writing outlet on the internet for people to interact with." Mine means wasting money; yours means wasting time.
Andrea, reading about John Donne: Aw, his wife gave birth to a stillborn child, and five days later, died. Bummer.
Andrea: BA-NA-NA.
Ashley: The chant of the vegan zombies! BAA-NA-NAAA
Andrea: I bet we age better than non-vegan zombies.
Andrea, making dinner: I've been reading too much Shakespeare. I just almost said, "Fie! Fie on these microwave instructions!"
During a swing dancing lesson
My partner: What beat do I let go on?
Teacher: Real men let go on five.
Ashley, reading her Ichablog aloud to Andrea: "I just received a butt dial from one Professor Ichabod Crane. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Hero of Sleepy Hollow, the Agent of the Founding Fathers, and the Hope of the Universe."
Andrea: Ohhhh, he means well.
Andrea, making a smoothie: I have reached all my goals. Follow directions, use fruit before it goes bad… find cute shoes.
Andrea: yeah, I could always tell when you weren't paying attention in class. I can tell when you're doing something on your laptop that you're supposed to be doing and when you're NOT.
Wwing teacher: You lead her forward, and then you GET OUT OF HER WAY.
My partner: Or you COULD just lead a HUG…
Ashley: Ichabod just got asked why women didn't show any leg back then. I'm not sure how to answer. ...I mean, it's like wearing a string bikini to a wedding! You just didn't do it!
Andrea: ...I don't think that's how Ichabod would explain it.
Ashley: ...Nooo, probably not. I don't think he knows what a string bikini is. And when he DOES learn...
Andrea: "Abbie! Those women! We must warn them! Their families will be horrified! They'll never get proper matches that way!"
Ashley, reading tumblr: "I’m sorry, I only date 200 year old British war heroes who actively fight against the apocalypse"
Andrea: …and are married.
Ashley: *makes face* yeahhhh…
Andrea: Oh, it's alright, his wife is stuck in an interdimensional liminal space, IT'S OKAY
Andrea and I make bets about when Pearl will get tired of stomping.
Ashley: You are leading me down the path to perdition.
Andrea: I'm a bad influence. Tell your mom we have betting Wednesdays before naked Thursdays.
*watching Much Ado*
Ashley: Kiss the girl!
Ashley, Michael, Andrea, in unison: SHALALALALALA MY OH MY LOOKS LIKE DE BOY TOO SHY AIN'T GONNA KISS DE GIRL
Kyle: won't let go of my hand
Me: *acts like I'm going to bite him*
Kyle: IF YOU BITE ME, I WILL LICK YOUR FACE.
Kyle: RIGHT ACROSS YOUR EYE. DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT. ASK MY WIFE.
Discussing the effects of vitamin B12 deficiency:
Ashley, reading off website: Tingling or numbness in fingers and toes, difficulty walking, mood changes or depression, memory loss, disorientation, and dementia!
Andrea: AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEE
Male "human" in a group of people with nerf weapons during a zombie vs humans war: *shrieks* YOU SUCTION-CUPPED ME!
Andrea, while I'm grading: You type with the acuity of a rabid animal.
*morning after we go off daylight savings time*
Pastor Sean: And we all thank God for the extra hour of sleep last night!
Sally: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Student 1: So yeah, I'm certified for emergency situations.
Student 2: So if I was dying right here, you would just jump right in and save me?
student 1: I COULD. I'm not REQUIRED to.
Leah: All hail the avocado!
Andrea: The fruit of the testes tree!
*about always having more things to grade*
Jeremy: It's like an academic Pez dispenser.
Cara: If you ever get apathetic about Christ's return, become a grad student.
*on universal sinfulness*
Rich: We're all cracked pots.
andrea: Some of us just spin faster than others.
Bianca, on her students not doing the reading: GUYS. It's a PLAY. There are CHARACTERS who SAY THINGS.
Andrea: KENTUCKY FRIED BABIES!!
Andrea, getting up to do yet ANOTHER thing instead of grading: WHY IS THE PROCRASTINATION SO STRONG IN THIS ONE??
Andrea, reading off a student's paper (it's supposed to translate the "to be" speech from Hamlet into modern English): Why deal with the insolence of office and the people who work in that office?
Ashley: How many of those do you have to grade?
*long silence. Ashley looks up. Andrea is giving her a death glare.*
Andrea, terribly excited: I caught the elevator just as the door was closing, and caught Dr. AR coloring in one of the teeth on the Mama Mia poster! I always thought it was stupid undergrads that were doing that-nope! it's tenured faculty!
Discussing our annoying downstairs neighbor, Pearl.
Leah: don't you understand? *holds hands out in a large ball* Universe. *points to the center of the ball* Pearl.
Ashley: You mean the world is her oyster?
Ashley: I was naughty this morning.
Andrea: *in voice of longsuffering* What did you do?
Ashley: I was looking at an "ask Ichabod" blog, and they didn't know much about the 18th century, and I thought, *I* could do a better "ask Ichabod" blog than that!
Ashley: …
Andrea: DID YOU START-
Ashley: I STARTED AN ASK ICHABOD BLOG!
later:
Andrea: *muttering* I can't believe you started another fandom thing. "I did a naughty thing" for me means "I bought something on the internet." For you it means, "I started another creative writing outlet on the internet for people to interact with." Mine means wasting money; yours means wasting time.
Andrea, reading about John Donne: Aw, his wife gave birth to a stillborn child, and five days later, died. Bummer.
Andrea: BA-NA-NA.
Ashley: The chant of the vegan zombies! BAA-NA-NAAA
Andrea: I bet we age better than non-vegan zombies.
Andrea, making dinner: I've been reading too much Shakespeare. I just almost said, "Fie! Fie on these microwave instructions!"
During a swing dancing lesson
My partner: What beat do I let go on?
Teacher: Real men let go on five.
Ashley, reading her Ichablog aloud to Andrea: "I just received a butt dial from one Professor Ichabod Crane. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Hero of Sleepy Hollow, the Agent of the Founding Fathers, and the Hope of the Universe."
Andrea: Ohhhh, he means well.
Andrea, making a smoothie: I have reached all my goals. Follow directions, use fruit before it goes bad… find cute shoes.
Andrea: yeah, I could always tell when you weren't paying attention in class. I can tell when you're doing something on your laptop that you're supposed to be doing and when you're NOT.
Wwing teacher: You lead her forward, and then you GET OUT OF HER WAY.
My partner: Or you COULD just lead a HUG…
Ashley: Ichabod just got asked why women didn't show any leg back then. I'm not sure how to answer. ...I mean, it's like wearing a string bikini to a wedding! You just didn't do it!
Andrea: ...I don't think that's how Ichabod would explain it.
Ashley: ...Nooo, probably not. I don't think he knows what a string bikini is. And when he DOES learn...
Andrea: "Abbie! Those women! We must warn them! Their families will be horrified! They'll never get proper matches that way!"
Ashley, reading tumblr: "I’m sorry, I only date 200 year old British war heroes who actively fight against the apocalypse"
Andrea: …and are married.
Ashley: *makes face* yeahhhh…
Andrea: Oh, it's alright, his wife is stuck in an interdimensional liminal space, IT'S OKAY
Andrea and I make bets about when Pearl will get tired of stomping.
Ashley: You are leading me down the path to perdition.
Andrea: I'm a bad influence. Tell your mom we have betting Wednesdays before naked Thursdays.
*watching Much Ado*
Ashley: Kiss the girl!
Ashley, Michael, Andrea, in unison: SHALALALALALA MY OH MY LOOKS LIKE DE BOY TOO SHY AIN'T GONNA KISS DE GIRL
Kyle: won't let go of my hand
Me: *acts like I'm going to bite him*
Kyle: IF YOU BITE ME, I WILL LICK YOUR FACE.
Kyle: RIGHT ACROSS YOUR EYE. DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT. ASK MY WIFE.
Discussing the effects of vitamin B12 deficiency:
Ashley, reading off website: Tingling or numbness in fingers and toes, difficulty walking, mood changes or depression, memory loss, disorientation, and dementia!
Andrea: AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEE
Male "human" in a group of people with nerf weapons during a zombie vs humans war: *shrieks* YOU SUCTION-CUPPED ME!
Andrea, while I'm grading: You type with the acuity of a rabid animal.
*morning after we go off daylight savings time*
Pastor Sean: And we all thank God for the extra hour of sleep last night!
Sally: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Student 1: So yeah, I'm certified for emergency situations.
Student 2: So if I was dying right here, you would just jump right in and save me?
student 1: I COULD. I'm not REQUIRED to.
Leah: All hail the avocado!
Andrea: The fruit of the testes tree!
*about always having more things to grade*
Jeremy: It's like an academic Pez dispenser.
Cara: If you ever get apathetic about Christ's return, become a grad student.
*on universal sinfulness*
Rich: We're all cracked pots.
andrea: Some of us just spin faster than others.
Bianca, on her students not doing the reading: GUYS. It's a PLAY. There are CHARACTERS who SAY THINGS.
Andrea: KENTUCKY FRIED BABIES!!