"...cellar door is the most beautiful..."
i'm in the mood to right what i feel at this particular moment. i'm not really in an optimistic mood, but it's one of the many feelings i'm going through. i just finished watching Donnie Darko, it's a really good movie, and it got me thinking, are our lives really pre-determined by divine intervention? have i lived through one life and all these countless deja-vu's i'm encountering are vague memories of my alter life? i'm also afraid to die alone, to know that there is no one in the world that does love me secretly, or just afraid to admit it. it feels if i'm living through a loophole, following the same path over and over. it takes the beauty from living, and now it seems utterly pointless to breathe, sleep, eat, doing what a human being does. will i be happy in the end? it is a beautiful night, so i took a walk. i felt somewhat secure, but that's not always the fact. i found a nice bench to sit down, and i sat, gazing into the sky and surroundings. i was just thinking, i don't remember what i was thinking, just those little gears clicking in my head, with each click getting louder after the next. are we dying or are we living? wow, i pretty sure that i'll be sleeping well tonight. one more day till school starts. maybe that's what i need. nobody wants to be alone.