Graduation
Today is my my baby sisters graduation from High School. We hae to save 14 seats at the auditorium. I hope she has a great day!
We had a good time overall. Spent some time together. Even though I am talking about all this other stuff does not mean I did not have a good time. We actually really did have a good time together. I loved the time we spent. We just cuddled on the couch watching tv and hugging each other ever so often and giving each other kisses. Which I love. I took him out to dinner which he liked. We tried to spend as much time as we could before he would have to go to work. Now remember I am NOT ungreatfull for anything. I am greatfull for everything he does for me. He told me he wish he had more time time to spend with me. We even got to make sweet love to each other. Which I love and brings us closer each and everytime. Then when everything seems to go bad or if anything at all we just look at each other....and gaze into each others eyes and we are at peace with each other. We love each other so much..........sometimes I just wish he would take time out of his busy schdule to come up here so I can take him out and do stuff. Take him to a park and have a picnic or go to Castleton Mall and just walk around and just show him everything or just go to a fair that maybe coming up soon like the James Dean Festival.
Is that to much to ask for....???
This is just stuff that some I don't think is fair....
Well, sorry I have not been on and journaling for the last couple of days but I have been gone. Yes, Sara, I am a bad girl, and I knwo you are going to yell at me. I went down to see Mark. But, he knew I was mad at him because I layed it in to him. I told him that I did not wanted treated that way and I do not deserve to be treated that way. He said it was because that when his mom was in the hospital that it brought up a lot of memories from his dad. And also he was not feeling good. BUT, that does not mean he can treat people or me esp. me like that.
I told him sometimes it feels like I have to compete with his friends and esp. his job just to see him or even to get to spend time with him and our relationship.
But, one thing I did get mad at when I was there was that he said again that I should make the time to come down there. How am I supposed to do that when a lot of times I don't have the money to come down there? Sometimes I have to ask my parents for money for something but that is not what it is really for and I really hate doing thta. But they also know that if they usually give me money they know what I am going to us it for and that is going down to Mark's house. And well they they don't like Mark to tell you the truth. So the next thing i do to get money is I either sell my presious books which I love esp my art books and yes i have even sold them. And sell my Dvd's. I had 30 plus, but now I only have 4 Dvd's. I told him that yesterday.
It is like I am supposed to magically come up with money to come down there. I can't coem down all the time also bc of his mom. I don't know what to do anymore........???
Then when we were talking in the car...This makes me mad if this is what I really heard...We were talking about the same thing...
He sad that he "may" come up...I said don't say it if you don't mean it bc even if you say that and if you don't you will disappoint me and upset me. Then he said...
Well, I don't like coming... and he Stopped what he was saying. I swear he was about to say that he did not like coming up here!! If that is what he said......urgh!!!!
He is the other part of the relationship and he should coem up if he wants to see me. It is not far!!! He says well when you come down I pay for your meals and help pay for your gas when you go back up. Yes, that is all good and dandy. But what about if I am busy...well we already found that out from the last few weeks when he did not come up.
I am sorry everybody if this sounds like a bitch session but this is what I am feeling and I jsut need to get it out. Talk more later.
We had a good time overall. Spent some time together. Even though I am talking about all this other stuff does not mean I did not have a good time. We actually really did have a good time together. I loved the time we spent. We just cuddled on the couch watching tv and hugging each other ever so often and giving each other kisses. Which I love. I took him out to dinner which he liked. We tried to spend as much time as we could before he would have to go to work. Now remember I am NOT ungreatfull for anything. I am greatfull for everything he does for me. He told me he wish he had more time time to spend with me. We even got to make sweet love to each other. Which I love and brings us closer each and everytime. Then when everything seems to go bad or if anything at all we just look at each other....and gaze into each others eyes and we are at peace with each other. We love each other so much..........sometimes I just wish he would take time out of his busy schdule to come up here so I can take him out and do stuff. Take him to a park and have a picnic or go to Castleton Mall and just walk around and just show him everything or just go to a fair that maybe coming up soon like the James Dean Festival.
Is that to much to ask for....???
This is just stuff that some I don't think is fair....
Well, sorry I have not been on and journaling for the last couple of days but I have been gone. Yes, Sara, I am a bad girl, and I knwo you are going to yell at me. I went down to see Mark. But, he knew I was mad at him because I layed it in to him. I told him that I did not wanted treated that way and I do not deserve to be treated that way. He said it was because that when his mom was in the hospital that it brought up a lot of memories from his dad. And also he was not feeling good. BUT, that does not mean he can treat people or me esp. me like that.
I told him sometimes it feels like I have to compete with his friends and esp. his job just to see him or even to get to spend time with him and our relationship.
But, one thing I did get mad at when I was there was that he said again that I should make the time to come down there. How am I supposed to do that when a lot of times I don't have the money to come down there? Sometimes I have to ask my parents for money for something but that is not what it is really for and I really hate doing thta. But they also know that if they usually give me money they know what I am going to us it for and that is going down to Mark's house. And well they they don't like Mark to tell you the truth. So the next thing i do to get money is I either sell my presious books which I love esp my art books and yes i have even sold them. And sell my Dvd's. I had 30 plus, but now I only have 4 Dvd's. I told him that yesterday.
It is like I am supposed to magically come up with money to come down there. I can't coem down all the time also bc of his mom. I don't know what to do anymore........???
Then when we were talking in the car...This makes me mad if this is what I really heard...We were talking about the same thing...
He sad that he "may" come up...I said don't say it if you don't mean it bc even if you say that and if you don't you will disappoint me and upset me. Then he said...
Well, I don't like coming... and he Stopped what he was saying. I swear he was about to say that he did not like coming up here!! If that is what he said......urgh!!!!
He is the other part of the relationship and he should coem up if he wants to see me. It is not far!!! He says well when you come down I pay for your meals and help pay for your gas when you go back up. Yes, that is all good and dandy. But what about if I am busy...well we already found that out from the last few weeks when he did not come up.
I am sorry everybody if this sounds like a bitch session but this is what I am feeling and I jsut need to get it out. Talk more later.