Here in this chair, wishin' you were here, now it's gettin' clear, that you don't even care.
Can't say my life is too interesting at the moment, and isn't that always the way?
You write and write, when there's nothing going on, then things get too hectic and busy and you can't find time to write, or time to remember it all and get it out... then you go a few weeks/months without an entry, then wonder why none of your real memories are written down.
It's a shame really.
So I'm at 200 lbs officially today.
Go me!
Just have like ohhh 65-75 more to go.
But above 200 is no more, no more 210.
Now I'm just breaaaaking out in stretch marks everywhere, where did they come from?!
It's annoying for sure.
I just wanna be skinny, and in some sort of shape other than round, and I want my beautiful hair to grow back like it was before. Although, sometimes it feels like it's never gonna happen, like the hair just refuses to grow.
It would be nice to sleep through a night. I didn't even nap yesterday, got up at 8am, stayed up til around 9:30 then fell asleep cause I had a tummy ache, and now here we are, like 4:AM. I can't sleep. Now the sleep pattern will get super wonky again, ofcourse.
It's getting to the point where I can't look in mirrors. If I do, I just obsess over everything that's wrong with me.
I posted my 'before' pics today on myfitnesspal.com, they disgust me. I wish I knew how I let myself get this way.
I also hate cameras.
You write and write, when there's nothing going on, then things get too hectic and busy and you can't find time to write, or time to remember it all and get it out... then you go a few weeks/months without an entry, then wonder why none of your real memories are written down.
It's a shame really.
So I'm at 200 lbs officially today.
Go me!
Just have like ohhh 65-75 more to go.
But above 200 is no more, no more 210.
Now I'm just breaaaaking out in stretch marks everywhere, where did they come from?!
It's annoying for sure.
I just wanna be skinny, and in some sort of shape other than round, and I want my beautiful hair to grow back like it was before. Although, sometimes it feels like it's never gonna happen, like the hair just refuses to grow.
It would be nice to sleep through a night. I didn't even nap yesterday, got up at 8am, stayed up til around 9:30 then fell asleep cause I had a tummy ache, and now here we are, like 4:AM. I can't sleep. Now the sleep pattern will get super wonky again, ofcourse.
It's getting to the point where I can't look in mirrors. If I do, I just obsess over everything that's wrong with me.
I posted my 'before' pics today on myfitnesspal.com, they disgust me. I wish I knew how I let myself get this way.
I also hate cameras.