You have to convince the ground not to hit you too hard.
It's much easier than forgetting to hit the ground. I have successfully jumped off three things today. And one yesterday.
Before I go any further, I'd like to reiterate that I'm insane in a very particular way, and that no-one in their right mind or not, should jump off things.
University has been eatting my life, that and work (by their powers combined I am captain un-social). So I've gone exam-crazy again. Instead of taking my shoe off and wielding a banana at people while saying "Shoe!" I have taken to jumping off things. Small things.
Now, jumping and shoeing both make sense in their context, though they are both rather sideways-thinking solutions to my problems. In the first instance, my body was failingly weak, I had no energy, my mind a shambles, uni-work was too much for me, I needed an outlet. The banana-shoe solution was perfect, it let one of my poor sore feet cool off, made use of my un-wanted lunch leftovers, broke people's stressful routine, and convinced everyone that I should DEFINITELY have some time off. It felt stupid to do, yet illicit and exciting. It was surreal. I didn't have the energy for rage, or screaming or punching a pillow. So I gently went insane.
This time I need confidence. Jumping off walls makes me feel powerful. But only because I'm good at landing. I am yet to hurt myself, not because I'm lucky, because I judge it well: the distance, my body, my mind. I am strong, and by each jump I make I test and prove it. I have a normal amount of fear, and I consider carefully whether I can land safely.
Last night, I locked myself out of my study room at uni. At first I panicked and wondered which faculty to ring to let me back in. Then I remembered that the room had a 7 foot divider wall with three feet of space across the top, and there were still people in the room on the other side. If one let me in, I could climb over and get my stuff. It worked. I took my shoes off and threw them over the wall, climbed onto a desk, sat on top of the wall, went 'shit how do I get down?' then went 'hey, I've always been good at falling without hurting myself, I'll be ok' and I jumped. Both feet followed by both hands, the brief sting of impact left quickly, I called my thanks over the wall, got my stuff and left, feeling high on adrenaline and my own cleverness.
It wasn't going to be a trend, but this morning I was trying to navigate an unfamiliar part of the university that Escher built, and I came to the top of a 7 foot wall. 'Damn', I thought, 'I need to go directly onwards'. Then I went '..meh, I've done it before' so I dropped my bag down, sat down on top of it, considered it carefully, and dropped. Again, perfect landing, no pain, and I was on my way quickly. I told a friend I met about it :D. Later, on my way to lunch, I was going past I wall, and I thought 'I've always wanted to walk along the top and drop off the end.' So I did. This one was about 8' ~2.4m. There were people around. I immediately ran off like a criminal and didn't stop till I was at the City. Thhat time it took longer for me to be ready to jump, and I grazed my hand slightly and jolted my right shoulder on landing. It felt great to do, but sitting here now, my foot stings a little, and I know it's had enough shocks for one day.
Thinking about it, it probably is illegal to jump off things on public and private property. I might hurt myself and sue them, or something stupid like that. I think my career as a jumper is over. But damn it was a successful one. :D
I bought a smoked black D20 today. I wonder whether it'll be lucky for me.
I suggest that if you want to prove your physical prowess, join a martial arts group, cos they know enough to stop you from doing anything stupid that'll get you hurt. But I am exam-crazy.
Until I no longer am, I big you all farewall.
Before I go any further, I'd like to reiterate that I'm insane in a very particular way, and that no-one in their right mind or not, should jump off things.
University has been eatting my life, that and work (by their powers combined I am captain un-social). So I've gone exam-crazy again. Instead of taking my shoe off and wielding a banana at people while saying "Shoe!" I have taken to jumping off things. Small things.
Now, jumping and shoeing both make sense in their context, though they are both rather sideways-thinking solutions to my problems. In the first instance, my body was failingly weak, I had no energy, my mind a shambles, uni-work was too much for me, I needed an outlet. The banana-shoe solution was perfect, it let one of my poor sore feet cool off, made use of my un-wanted lunch leftovers, broke people's stressful routine, and convinced everyone that I should DEFINITELY have some time off. It felt stupid to do, yet illicit and exciting. It was surreal. I didn't have the energy for rage, or screaming or punching a pillow. So I gently went insane.
This time I need confidence. Jumping off walls makes me feel powerful. But only because I'm good at landing. I am yet to hurt myself, not because I'm lucky, because I judge it well: the distance, my body, my mind. I am strong, and by each jump I make I test and prove it. I have a normal amount of fear, and I consider carefully whether I can land safely.
Last night, I locked myself out of my study room at uni. At first I panicked and wondered which faculty to ring to let me back in. Then I remembered that the room had a 7 foot divider wall with three feet of space across the top, and there were still people in the room on the other side. If one let me in, I could climb over and get my stuff. It worked. I took my shoes off and threw them over the wall, climbed onto a desk, sat on top of the wall, went 'shit how do I get down?' then went 'hey, I've always been good at falling without hurting myself, I'll be ok' and I jumped. Both feet followed by both hands, the brief sting of impact left quickly, I called my thanks over the wall, got my stuff and left, feeling high on adrenaline and my own cleverness.
It wasn't going to be a trend, but this morning I was trying to navigate an unfamiliar part of the university that Escher built, and I came to the top of a 7 foot wall. 'Damn', I thought, 'I need to go directly onwards'. Then I went '..meh, I've done it before' so I dropped my bag down, sat down on top of it, considered it carefully, and dropped. Again, perfect landing, no pain, and I was on my way quickly. I told a friend I met about it :D. Later, on my way to lunch, I was going past I wall, and I thought 'I've always wanted to walk along the top and drop off the end.' So I did. This one was about 8' ~2.4m. There were people around. I immediately ran off like a criminal and didn't stop till I was at the City. Thhat time it took longer for me to be ready to jump, and I grazed my hand slightly and jolted my right shoulder on landing. It felt great to do, but sitting here now, my foot stings a little, and I know it's had enough shocks for one day.
Thinking about it, it probably is illegal to jump off things on public and private property. I might hurt myself and sue them, or something stupid like that. I think my career as a jumper is over. But damn it was a successful one. :D
I bought a smoked black D20 today. I wonder whether it'll be lucky for me.
I suggest that if you want to prove your physical prowess, join a martial arts group, cos they know enough to stop you from doing anything stupid that'll get you hurt. But I am exam-crazy.
Until I no longer am, I big you all farewall.