(no subject)

[arshastar87]

It's been a while since I last updated...So much has changed and so much more to come. Orientation was awesome and I couldn't be more excited for school. In so many ways I just want to get out of here ...but I also have this terrible pit in my stomach when I think of all the people in my life that I love and I have to leave behind. There are so many things that ...for a while were left unsettled and I dunno maybe it's cause I'm leaving soon that everyone is suddenly trying to fix things. For so long I suffered....I wondered why ....I cried myself to sleep at night and although I still think about it everday of my life I was just finally becoming ok ...I guess. I don't know I don't even know what I'm saying...I guess I'm saying everything is just too late now..I alreayd went through all the pain of ...never knowing...always wonderign and maybe it's better to just keep it out fo my life. Then theres a part of me that wants to say hello again. I want it to be part of my life ...but I have already ghone so long without it...so I did want it but now I think it's better if I just keep them out. I just i can't go through this again...I dunno

so anyways people are starting to leave now...and it sucks. Spencer leaves friday so tonight will prolly be the last time i see him for a while....Lindsey leaves today and hopefully i can stop by and say goodbye. I don't leave until sept. 3rd...which is good cause i can spend some days with kristin and friends up at UNH. ok well leave lots of comments lol. I love you allll mwuuuuuah