(no subject)
Things are going to be different. That's what were trained to think. The moment we close our eyes and take two steps forward, is when we have to open them again to make our way back. Back can mean something different for each and every one of us. May back become some un-born place, or somewhere we like to come back to. A home that makes us feel alive, and even a home were scared of. One of the only things were ever going to be able to call our own. It's weird; leaving something for a short while and then realizing it's not yours anymore. We all come across a time when we have to say goodbye to something we love. It's easy to reassure ourselves that things will always turn out how they're supposed to, but it's hard realizing that they don't always end up how we WANT them to. Lust can be found and forgotten but love always finds you. We have all felt happy, sad, excited or worried. We have even felt them all at once. You have probably spent a day smiling and reminding yourself how much you love to live. You have probably also spent a day greiving and wishing you weren't alive at all. Somewhere along those lines you felt guilty and pretended that you didn't wish that, because that's what were trained to think. It's ok. If you feel anything, it's ok to feel like you don't want to feel at all every once in a while. The beauty behind all of this is our minds. The ones that write the words you think, the ones that read the words you write, and the ones that count to ten everynight so you can fall asleep and do it all again the next day. We spend more time in a day thinking and talking about doing something, than actually doing those things. Why? We haven't come close enough to death to realize anything about time? Have you ever seen nothing? The day I saw nothing was when I realized I had to do SOMETHING.
Im starting to become more honest. I spend most of my time loving others and forgetting to love myself. You do that too? It's part of human nature I guess. Makes us feel alive when were really dying inside. Sounds to me like were really just selfish. I can't seem to hold onto anything anymore. This world used to be my best friend, but lately, I can feel it gradually slipping off the tips of my fingers. You feel lost and alone and there is nothing you can do about it. Our everyday lives become a hassle. I feel like that's what I am lately. Just a problem that I can't find enough time to deal with. I can't seem to feel it anymore. People can't love us for what were becoming, but they can love others for what they are not. My dad used to keep track of time and wish before it were too late, and now they he is sick, he looks at the world like he is going to be here for quite sometime. I always thought things would end up the other way around, but everythings starting to make more sense. 120 seconds of my life was spent holding my mom. I saw nothing that day. A part of me died and probably wont come back. I don't ever want to see nothing again. Sometime within the next 1,460 days, the world will stop spinning for three of us. I can't tell you why or how, but if there is one thing I ever truely figured out,
it was this.
Im starting to become more honest. I spend most of my time loving others and forgetting to love myself. You do that too? It's part of human nature I guess. Makes us feel alive when were really dying inside. Sounds to me like were really just selfish. I can't seem to hold onto anything anymore. This world used to be my best friend, but lately, I can feel it gradually slipping off the tips of my fingers. You feel lost and alone and there is nothing you can do about it. Our everyday lives become a hassle. I feel like that's what I am lately. Just a problem that I can't find enough time to deal with. I can't seem to feel it anymore. People can't love us for what were becoming, but they can love others for what they are not. My dad used to keep track of time and wish before it were too late, and now they he is sick, he looks at the world like he is going to be here for quite sometime. I always thought things would end up the other way around, but everythings starting to make more sense. 120 seconds of my life was spent holding my mom. I saw nothing that day. A part of me died and probably wont come back. I don't ever want to see nothing again. Sometime within the next 1,460 days, the world will stop spinning for three of us. I can't tell you why or how, but if there is one thing I ever truely figured out,
it was this.