Tonight Is Turning Out Fucking Dandy...
circumstantial evidence is a pretty bullshit way of denying what is so obviously screaming at you, right in your face. you can feel its hot breath against your lips, and shit smell of its unbrushed teeth. you can make out the fine wrinkles around its mouth... you dont really need to wonder why theyre there. whether it was from age, cause they smoke, or maybe they suck everyone off-... it really isnt any of your concern. what begins to scratch away at the back of your fucking head is that circumstantial evidence doesnt add up to shit, even when you know a person has committed a crime. circumstantial evidence can fucking blow me... im sick of hearing how there is no way to prove this and that when there so obviously is. id go into more detail (in terms of acts of revenge/genocide/etc), but i have this strange inclination that my computer is and has been monitored for quite some time. this fact does not bother me, nor does it confuse me-... all that it does is make me more careful. funny how paranoia works, isnt it?
well, without being too vague, something happened out front of my house involving CERTAIN people (who are innocent until proven guilty, or until i fucking confront them). the police were called after i was talked down for about twenty minutes from doing something drastic. i really do not like dealing with the police, because there is rarely resolution when it comes to one of my problems. when its a problem with me, cops are just waiting to pull out their tasers, but until then, they seem to be in a deep sleep. im not saying i hate the police, or distrust them-... im saying i hate the law system and dont trust IT.
if life were a comic book, id put it down and forget reading the end. its too up-and-down for me in terms of how i feel when other people are not around. right now i feel weighed down-... like im unable to move more than my forearms and fingers. i feel helpless, and ive become too accustomed to that feeling. i feel down and out-... to use a tired phrase. going back through everything ive ever said, i do believe in "hate" and i have personally experienced it before. i do not know if this is "hate"... or "distrust"... or "paranoia"... or "anger"... or some other "feeling" thats so wrapped up within so many others it morphs into its own little black pit in my stomach. the feelings i feel right now are so bitter and unforgiving, i wouldnt dare put them online or whisper them through a telephone wire, or send an instant message to someone for fear of it all coming back to this stunning and beautiful epiphany.
"i hate people."
that felt strange... perhaps im over-exaggerating? no. people do bother me, and i dont be people in general. im talking about CERTAIN people and all the flaws that make them such horrible beings. their sole purpose for existence is to cause human suffering and emotional agony. if i had a bullet for every time someone fucked me over, id start an artillary-cache for when the dead rose from their graves. being fucked over doesnt bother me much either-... its just when certain people do it for no reason and with no remorse. some avant-garde fuckwit thinks he has the upper hand due to his "extensive knowledge" of all things "artistic", but the subject relates to something of an environmental nature. he knows more about another subject, but it does not make him smarter or more in the right than myself.
now i think ill bash those cretans. those incestual fucks who all bare a resemblance to their drunkard father and whore of a mother. ahh, and the mother-... id imagine her vaginas about as wide as the hoover damn by now. pumping out that many babies is bound to make one go insane and lose all control... of your bodily functions. how is it that twenty children are able to live in that one house?... maybe i should help out and not brake when i see their kids playing in the front yard. maybe i should smoke on the corner more-... i hear second-hand smoke is a killer ^_^ oh, and i shouldnt forget to mention how much i despise every mishapen and mismatched chromosome in that family.
hey, sorry for the rant, but sometimes its better to write about how much you hate someone that go do something irrational.