La la la anal skrulls
The Truthful Account of Civil War's "ending"
The 616 universe was no stranger to bizarre deaths, and even more bizarre resurrections. In fact, people could set their watches to how often Jean rose from the grave. But whether it was Skrull impersonation (of the regular or anal variety), evil clones, timeline replacements or simply artistic license.
Captain America getting shot as he was led up to a courthouse in handcuffs was another matter entirely. Except it wasn't because that's exactly what happened to Speedball three issues prior.
But the truth of why it was allowed to happen was more sinister, more perverse and telling than anything else.
"Why are you doing this again, Cap?" the Winter Soldier, formerly Bucky Barnes, said tetchily as he removed the blood packets.
"It's a strategic ploy."
"To go back underground and fight for superhuman rights under another mask?"
"Pfft," said Captain America, "Hell no. They say I'm out of touch with the people, that I haven't watched Nascar or American Idol. But I've learned! And what better way to show off my newfound American knowledge then with the most brilliant strategy invented by this new culture! A FAKE INTERNET DEATH!"
Bucky sighed.
Cap continued laughing manically. "Tell Sally Floyd to put that up on her MySpace and midi it!"
I regret nothing
The 616 universe was no stranger to bizarre deaths, and even more bizarre resurrections. In fact, people could set their watches to how often Jean rose from the grave. But whether it was Skrull impersonation (of the regular or anal variety), evil clones, timeline replacements or simply artistic license.
Captain America getting shot as he was led up to a courthouse in handcuffs was another matter entirely. Except it wasn't because that's exactly what happened to Speedball three issues prior.
But the truth of why it was allowed to happen was more sinister, more perverse and telling than anything else.
"Why are you doing this again, Cap?" the Winter Soldier, formerly Bucky Barnes, said tetchily as he removed the blood packets.
"It's a strategic ploy."
"To go back underground and fight for superhuman rights under another mask?"
"Pfft," said Captain America, "Hell no. They say I'm out of touch with the people, that I haven't watched Nascar or American Idol. But I've learned! And what better way to show off my newfound American knowledge then with the most brilliant strategy invented by this new culture! A FAKE INTERNET DEATH!"
Bucky sighed.
Cap continued laughing manically. "Tell Sally Floyd to put that up on her MySpace and midi it!"
I regret nothing