die
something id like to do these days.i know that all my journal is about me bitching but thats what this shits for right.its not like anybody reads it anyway.i get the feeling of suicidal tendencies everyday. and they get stronger as the days go by.i hate almost everyone and i get in really bad moods very easily.if i wasnt a jackass then maybe i would have prevented this whole depression thing.but no i had to make a spur of the moment decision.hey and guess what im not doing this new years eve.going to caity's. im all set with that.because if i end up going there someones gonna end up dead.i hate when i like someone and i know/think that i cant get them and/or they are too good for me so i do nothing..but theres still that one person i want..and thats not gonna happen either so ill just stay in super duper high depression mode...and maybe ill smoke myself to death.or drink.who knows what will happen