LONG entry..
This post is public for the one and only Benjamin HOWARD Schinkel.
I drove 88 miles to Ben and Joni's place cursing to myself because I was in a very poor mood. I listened to songs I could scream along to so I didn't get too lonely. That's a long drive to drive by yourself. I arrived there, still in a bad mood, with a very negative attitude. I walk in their apt and see that they have their 20 and over Bible study group over. I made myself look happy and be positive through introductions, etc, sat down and heard the end of the lesson. When prayer time came, my whole ora had changed. I was laughing, having a good time, and genuinly prayed along silently. I said my own prayer, an apology to God for not coming to church more often, for thinking that praying every night is enough. It obviously isn't if I'm so angry all the time.
Then, we had cake! Joni made me a cake for my birthday, and we all shared it. Mmmmm.. It was so good. Then the Bible study people left and we went to Concordia for a dance. I was NOT excited for this. I actually got choked up hearing that we were going. I decided the night of Ben and Joni's wedding that I was through making efforts to hang out with people. If they wanted to see/hang out with me, they can call. So, I was still kind of upset that they hadn't. I'm sure none of them even remembered that I was gone for 10 days, or that I turned 20 in the process. Anyway, we went there.
It turns out that Ben Appold's girlfriend Stephanie broke up with him (Tuesday). This is the saddest news I've heard in MONTHS. I can't even explain.
So. I'm standing around with Joni while Ben talks to Nate, Josh, and Ben (who are DJing the dance and therefore behind that desk thing they always have). We go up to Stephanie, say hi and whatnot. Joni and Ben go dance to some slow song and Josh comes dancin over getting food. He says hi, and goes back to the table. (I'm still waiting for the three to make any sort of effort). I decide to go out. Outside. Look at the stars. I lay down on the pavement and Joni comes out and joins me. We talked for a while (this was actually my favorite part of the night) and then Ben joined us and we went inside. They dragged me over to talk to Nate, Ben A, and Josh behind the desk thing. They said hi, Ben got up to hug me (which was nice), and we stood around for 2-3 songs.
Joni and I then went to talk to Stephanie (who was sitting alone looking lonely) and sat on the floor next to her chair. Ben S came over and started talking to her too. I glanced over to the DJing boys, and Ben A was looking at us, with a very very sad look on his face. Then I realized... If my boyfriend just broke up with me, I'd want my friends to be talking to me, not bonding with him.. that's mean. I went outside and cried.
I was laying face down for a while before Ben A and Nate joined me. I stood up after wiping my tears and they asked what was wrong, I said nothing etc. We talked for a bit, then Joni and Ben came out and we (Joni, Ben S, and I) left. I cried all the way back to their place. For a few reasons:
1. People like Ben A don't deserve things like this. He was very upset over it, and I felt horrible.
2. I miss them so much. So much. I never realize it till I see them. Oh my gosh. Then the stupid new MxPx single came on the radio "Everything sucks when you're gone.." and I cried harder. A. Because it doesn't sound like mxpx and it was disappointing, and B. because it applied. It was so sad leaving them, I don't know when I'll see them next and I don't even know if they care when they see me next. Or if they'll make any effort. Is it worth it to miss out on things to make a point when the point is never made?
3. Joni and Ben were being supernice to me and I felt really bad for ditching them the night before I left.
So, we went back to B&Js and played Monopoly and ate candy. Ben kicked our asses, I was out first, and I kept Joni alive by slipping her 500s under the table. Ben didn't even notice until Joni couldn't stop hysterically laughing.... It was great.
Joni slept on the pull-out couch like me and it was old times again. Apparently, she kept trying to put her arm around me, so ended up going to sleep with Ben. :)
I woke up, took a shower. THey came home from chuch and we played another round. Joni won this time. Then another round. Me and Ben were so close.. but only because I kept getting free parking and going to jail. We had all the money from the bank, without cheating, and had to start writing IOUs. It was seriously insane. Finally, he won.. I landed on his Connecticut Ave with a hotel.
I left, came home...
I came home, and my cousin Ben had called (3 Bens in one entry, holy crap). He was at MSU for the weekend, but I just missed him. It was disappointing.
I was supposed to see a movie with Brad, but the latest one was at 8, and we didn't talk until 730..
So I called Nathan (2 Nates in one entry..) and went over there for a bit. Karen, Nate, and I went to rent movies, and Krogers to get food, and went back to his place. They started making the frozen pizza, and Karen called Erick.
Erick broke his wrist skating today! It looks really really bad, and there's two huge bumps and he can't move it. He fell on the insides of both his wrists and all his bracelets broke.. hahaha.. Anyway, yeah, that's scary. But he came over and we started watching Holes (Disney movie with Louis Stevens in it). The DVD kept skipping parts and stuff so it was weird. I don't get lots of the parts because we missed so many. We pretty much were just talking the whole time anyway though, so I guess it didn't matter.
Yeah, now I'm home.