Auditory Issues. And second language ones.
Recently, I've been having trouble hearing things. Not noises, but words. I'm pretty sure it's not outright lower perception of noise, because I'm still kept awake every morning by the sounds of Andres showering, and loud noises still make me twitch. Things don't sound particularly muted, as far as I can tell. But there's definitely something happening to my ability to parse meaning.
I first noticed it a few days ago as I was struggling to understand Spanish language videos that I felt like I should be able to understand easily. (...Or that I'm pretty sure I could have, a month ago, but not now--at least not without difficulty). Then I noticed it with the little things Andres says to me in Spanish--I was asking him to repeat himself more.
Obviously, at first I took this to mean that I was just starting to lose my comprehension ability in Spanish. Which was really distressing, because...while I know I'm getting rusty, I didn't expect to lose so much capacity to understand so quickly.
I finally started asking real questions when I was watching Sherlock with my roommate--filmed in Britain, with actors with British accents. I found myself having difficulty understanding certain things while the episode was at a low volume (Andres was asleep), and I had to put it to an unfortunately high volume to feel comfortable understanding all the words.
It was then that I started actually thinking about how I was interacting with people aloud in my own English. And I noticed that *yes*, I was asking people to repeat themselves more, and was having a hard time understanding things people said when they mumbled, trailed off thoughts, were in a different room/there was a lot of background noise, etc. I hadn't even occurred to me to think about all of those situations, but it is pretty obvious now that I'm having more trouble than normal.
I've actually noticed this problem before in the past, though I can't recall it being as long-lived (and therefore as irritating) as right now. Usually it annoys me for a short while (maybe a day or two) and then I stop noticing it as such a problem. I have usually blamed these episodes on being sleep deprived or worn out, not something actually wrong. But I guess we'll see? Hopefully it'll resolve itself on its own soon.
On a somewhat related note, I feel like this has helped me to pinpoint something that I think is a big problem, not just for me, but for many language learners. When I don't understand something in another language, I immediately accredit it to my own incompetence, and am quick to question my own abilities before considering there may be a bigger problem or multiple causes. I miss things in English all the time, and it's not a big deal, because I speak English. Nobody will question my ability to speak English. Therefore my failure to hear or comprehend something has nothing to do with my mastery of the language [or lack thereof].
And yet, in Spanish, I simply have to be perfect. If I miss a word, if I don't get the joke, it's my bad. I should have studied harder, listened harder, or just generally been more competent. I have everything to prove (at least to myself, if no one else), all the time. The more I let myself notice all the times that things in English just don't come together for me, the more these higher expectations seem so unreasonable. And yet they're inescapable. I wonder if second language learners are cursed with this need for perfection for the rest of their lives, or if there is a level of competence that you can reach where it goes away and you can just stop questioning yourself all the time. Or maybe I'm the only one who does this? I really doubt I'm the only one.
If you're a second language learner, or fluent in another language, do you find yourself being much harder on yourself about misunderstandings or your inability to understand things in your second language? If you've been through and successfully escaped this phase, at what point were you able to do so? What did it take?
I first noticed it a few days ago as I was struggling to understand Spanish language videos that I felt like I should be able to understand easily. (...Or that I'm pretty sure I could have, a month ago, but not now--at least not without difficulty). Then I noticed it with the little things Andres says to me in Spanish--I was asking him to repeat himself more.
Obviously, at first I took this to mean that I was just starting to lose my comprehension ability in Spanish. Which was really distressing, because...while I know I'm getting rusty, I didn't expect to lose so much capacity to understand so quickly.
I finally started asking real questions when I was watching Sherlock with my roommate--filmed in Britain, with actors with British accents. I found myself having difficulty understanding certain things while the episode was at a low volume (Andres was asleep), and I had to put it to an unfortunately high volume to feel comfortable understanding all the words.
It was then that I started actually thinking about how I was interacting with people aloud in my own English. And I noticed that *yes*, I was asking people to repeat themselves more, and was having a hard time understanding things people said when they mumbled, trailed off thoughts, were in a different room/there was a lot of background noise, etc. I hadn't even occurred to me to think about all of those situations, but it is pretty obvious now that I'm having more trouble than normal.
I've actually noticed this problem before in the past, though I can't recall it being as long-lived (and therefore as irritating) as right now. Usually it annoys me for a short while (maybe a day or two) and then I stop noticing it as such a problem. I have usually blamed these episodes on being sleep deprived or worn out, not something actually wrong. But I guess we'll see? Hopefully it'll resolve itself on its own soon.
On a somewhat related note, I feel like this has helped me to pinpoint something that I think is a big problem, not just for me, but for many language learners. When I don't understand something in another language, I immediately accredit it to my own incompetence, and am quick to question my own abilities before considering there may be a bigger problem or multiple causes. I miss things in English all the time, and it's not a big deal, because I speak English. Nobody will question my ability to speak English. Therefore my failure to hear or comprehend something has nothing to do with my mastery of the language [or lack thereof].
And yet, in Spanish, I simply have to be perfect. If I miss a word, if I don't get the joke, it's my bad. I should have studied harder, listened harder, or just generally been more competent. I have everything to prove (at least to myself, if no one else), all the time. The more I let myself notice all the times that things in English just don't come together for me, the more these higher expectations seem so unreasonable. And yet they're inescapable. I wonder if second language learners are cursed with this need for perfection for the rest of their lives, or if there is a level of competence that you can reach where it goes away and you can just stop questioning yourself all the time. Or maybe I'm the only one who does this? I really doubt I'm the only one.
If you're a second language learner, or fluent in another language, do you find yourself being much harder on yourself about misunderstandings or your inability to understand things in your second language? If you've been through and successfully escaped this phase, at what point were you able to do so? What did it take?