Hi.
Hi. My name is Arrow.
I live with Croc, Jimmy, and Bacon in San Jose. I work as a Windows administrator. I am single, and have been my whole life. I am an only child, and my parents are both still alive and married in my native Massachusetts. Below are common aspects of life which determine happiness or stress.
I like my job. It is challenging, but doable. I feel like I create value for the clients I work for. I hate being on-call, though, and we're stretched so thin that I'm beginning to look for other positions. A client is asking me to leave because one of their executives don't like me, which is upsetting, even though I'm not sad to be off that account.
I like my roommates and home life. This is really the first time I've lived with people I consider myself close to, and it makes the little bullshit that happens as roommates way easier to deal with. However, we're being asked to leave our house, and we will have to find a new house by March, which I am not looking forward to dealing with.
I am healthy. I have no chronic pain, and my body mostly seems to work fairly well. I gained a bunch of muscular weight over the past couple years, so my back gets tired easily in an ill-fitting chair, but that's very minor. I am struggling to locate a good psychologist.
I spend a lot of time with my close friends - my roommates, Chance and Tsuyoto, and Colson. I liked spending time with them a lot, too much so maybe. I am trying to diversify but struggling with a lack of desire to do so.
I have been trying to devote more time to the thing that makes me feel most good about myself, weightlifting. I weigh around 240 now and feel pretty big. I've always wanted to feel attractive, and I feel like I am now, but it highlights the real, internal issues I've never managed to fix which cause me to remain single.
I don't want to be single forever. I want to be with someone I never get tired of spending time with, who I feel is special and interesting, and who feels the same about me. I want to have adventures with this person.
I don't really have any hobbies I do for fun. I feel like they would distract me from my goals. However, I am going to start dabbling in different things because a shallow distraction would be better for me than empty, inactive anxiety.
I am not really part of any organized community or club.
I am financially secure thanks to my job.
I am not particularly close to my family, and somewhat worry about what will happen as they get ill, how I will cope and/or assist.
I have to remake myself somewhat, and I am hoping to get psychological assistance to leave the places I am in now and gain the desire to move on with my life. Until then - and maybe even after then - I hope to be writing here more, because to be honest I feel like I've lost the ability/venue to talk about my life. There's a lot of stuff bottled up. At some point, I stopped talking to 100 people on LJ, and started only talking to 5 people about the things that matter to me, and my focus narrowed too much. These will get crossposted to Twitter, so if you want to read and get to know me better, please continue reading. If you are not so interested, please just scroll past the tweet, yeah? I'll still have other, more minor things to say in 140 characters. It's just frightening to think most people don't know much of who I am, or how I'm doing, past those 140 characters.
Do you have anything you'd like me to write about more in-depth? Otherwise I'll just be writing about things as I think about them.
I live with Croc, Jimmy, and Bacon in San Jose. I work as a Windows administrator. I am single, and have been my whole life. I am an only child, and my parents are both still alive and married in my native Massachusetts. Below are common aspects of life which determine happiness or stress.
I like my job. It is challenging, but doable. I feel like I create value for the clients I work for. I hate being on-call, though, and we're stretched so thin that I'm beginning to look for other positions. A client is asking me to leave because one of their executives don't like me, which is upsetting, even though I'm not sad to be off that account.
I like my roommates and home life. This is really the first time I've lived with people I consider myself close to, and it makes the little bullshit that happens as roommates way easier to deal with. However, we're being asked to leave our house, and we will have to find a new house by March, which I am not looking forward to dealing with.
I am healthy. I have no chronic pain, and my body mostly seems to work fairly well. I gained a bunch of muscular weight over the past couple years, so my back gets tired easily in an ill-fitting chair, but that's very minor. I am struggling to locate a good psychologist.
I spend a lot of time with my close friends - my roommates, Chance and Tsuyoto, and Colson. I liked spending time with them a lot, too much so maybe. I am trying to diversify but struggling with a lack of desire to do so.
I have been trying to devote more time to the thing that makes me feel most good about myself, weightlifting. I weigh around 240 now and feel pretty big. I've always wanted to feel attractive, and I feel like I am now, but it highlights the real, internal issues I've never managed to fix which cause me to remain single.
I don't want to be single forever. I want to be with someone I never get tired of spending time with, who I feel is special and interesting, and who feels the same about me. I want to have adventures with this person.
I don't really have any hobbies I do for fun. I feel like they would distract me from my goals. However, I am going to start dabbling in different things because a shallow distraction would be better for me than empty, inactive anxiety.
I am not really part of any organized community or club.
I am financially secure thanks to my job.
I am not particularly close to my family, and somewhat worry about what will happen as they get ill, how I will cope and/or assist.
I have to remake myself somewhat, and I am hoping to get psychological assistance to leave the places I am in now and gain the desire to move on with my life. Until then - and maybe even after then - I hope to be writing here more, because to be honest I feel like I've lost the ability/venue to talk about my life. There's a lot of stuff bottled up. At some point, I stopped talking to 100 people on LJ, and started only talking to 5 people about the things that matter to me, and my focus narrowed too much. These will get crossposted to Twitter, so if you want to read and get to know me better, please continue reading. If you are not so interested, please just scroll past the tweet, yeah? I'll still have other, more minor things to say in 140 characters. It's just frightening to think most people don't know much of who I am, or how I'm doing, past those 140 characters.
Do you have anything you'd like me to write about more in-depth? Otherwise I'll just be writing about things as I think about them.