Norse Mythology According to Anabasis -- Or, "There's ALWAYS a Way"
Miriam was unimpressed. She seemed, in fact, quite skeptical. "Why do you think Artifacts can be destroyed for good?"
"Balder," Evan said to her evenly.
"-dash?" Teth blinked..
"No," Evan corrected. "Balder and Loki. You know that story, Miriam?
"I don't study paganism," Miriam replied coolly.
Calliel winced. "Mythology," she said. "Mythology informs the human condition."
"Balder was the god that everybody loved," Evan began. "So much so that Odin--or Freya, depending on your version--went around the whole world and asked EVERYTHING to agree not to hurt him. Rocks, trees, wind, the ocean, you name it. Everything."
"Not quite everything," Anthony murmured.
"So the other gods made great sport out of hitting him with everything and anything, 'cause it wouldn't hurt him, and after awhile that shit got funny.
"Only Loki didn't like it, 'cause well, Loki's a dick. He goes around and double-checks, and sure enough, there's one thing Freya forgot: Mistletoe."
Superstition grinned, listening to Anabasis as he told the story. Helios, too, kept an ear on the Arrow's words.
"So he gets a Mistletoe arrow, gets a bow, brings 'em to Hod, who's an old blind god, and says, 'Hey, Hod! Shame you're missing out on all the Can't-Kill-Balder fun.'
"And Hod says, 'Yeah, man, being blind sucks balls.'
"Loki goes, 'Well, hey, I'll help you play. Just lemme slip my arms around you all flirty-like and I'll guide you in shooting Balder with this here bow and arrow.
"Hod goes, "Hooray! I'm finally one of the guys!'
"And he shoots.
"And Balder dies.
"And the moral of this story is that it doesn't matter how LOVED, or how PRETTY, or how AWESOME you are, there's ALWAYS A WAY TO KILL YOUR ASS.
"The end."
Valentine laughed slightly and smiled at the story. Superstition even clapped. Helios, too, smiled. "Nice story," he said.
"Oh," Evan added, "except for the part where killing Balder is key to the beginning of Ragnarok.That's REALLY The End. Of, like, everything."
"Balder," Evan said to her evenly.
"-dash?" Teth blinked..
"No," Evan corrected. "Balder and Loki. You know that story, Miriam?
"I don't study paganism," Miriam replied coolly.
Calliel winced. "Mythology," she said. "Mythology informs the human condition."
"Balder was the god that everybody loved," Evan began. "So much so that Odin--or Freya, depending on your version--went around the whole world and asked EVERYTHING to agree not to hurt him. Rocks, trees, wind, the ocean, you name it. Everything."
"Not quite everything," Anthony murmured.
"So the other gods made great sport out of hitting him with everything and anything, 'cause it wouldn't hurt him, and after awhile that shit got funny.
"Only Loki didn't like it, 'cause well, Loki's a dick. He goes around and double-checks, and sure enough, there's one thing Freya forgot: Mistletoe."
Superstition grinned, listening to Anabasis as he told the story. Helios, too, kept an ear on the Arrow's words.
"So he gets a Mistletoe arrow, gets a bow, brings 'em to Hod, who's an old blind god, and says, 'Hey, Hod! Shame you're missing out on all the Can't-Kill-Balder fun.'
"And Hod says, 'Yeah, man, being blind sucks balls.'
"Loki goes, 'Well, hey, I'll help you play. Just lemme slip my arms around you all flirty-like and I'll guide you in shooting Balder with this here bow and arrow.
"Hod goes, "Hooray! I'm finally one of the guys!'
"And he shoots.
"And Balder dies.
"And the moral of this story is that it doesn't matter how LOVED, or how PRETTY, or how AWESOME you are, there's ALWAYS A WAY TO KILL YOUR ASS.
"The end."
Valentine laughed slightly and smiled at the story. Superstition even clapped. Helios, too, smiled. "Nice story," he said.
"Oh," Evan added, "except for the part where killing Balder is key to the beginning of Ragnarok.That's REALLY The End. Of, like, everything."