New F/K Story: The Question of Ghosts (R)

[arrow00]

Title: The Question of Ghosts
Podfic read by 2corbies
Author: arrow00
Fandom: dS
Pairing: Fraser/RayK
Rating: R
Category: FT, h/c
Wordcount: 6,375
Warning: primary character death
Beta: the fantastic nos4a2no9, whose insight and suggestions proved invaluable.
Summary:  It didn't matter, Fraser thought, if sometimes the flicker of Ray's reflection graced the curve of his

Comments

[j_s_cavalcante]

Oh, Arrow...

I cried through this entire piece. Am still crying.

And it's so beautiful... I can't say a lot more right now, because, crying.

But the image of Ray under the mirror ball...I don't think I'll ever forget it.

You are amazing. More later, I hope. Meanwhile I gotta get some tissues. :)

[snarkyducky]

*clings to you as well*

*bawls*

[j_s_cavalcante]

*clings*

*hands you tissues*

Snarky...isn't that piece just...heartbreakingly beautiful?

I will never be able to write something like this with these characters. I can't go there, I can't. Not as an author.

Which makes me even more impressed that Arrow could.

Such a stunning piece. Ray's so...Ray. Writing in the book! OMG Didn't that break you?...

...*cries more*

We need our Ray! I need Ray!

I think this is what hurts so much. He's a ghost to us, too. Not real. How is he not real?

*comes unglued*

[akamine_chan]

*pets JS and snarky*

I ran out of tissues for this one...

I will never be able to write something like this with these characters. I can't go there, I can't. Not as an author.

Maybe not, JS, but you made me cry for days with Tip, Slip, Tumble...

[snarkyducky]

*iz petted* :D

*hands you tissues*

*cliiings*

[j_s_cavalcante]

Days! Really? What did I do? Did you tell me at the time? I didn't remember.

*is filled with remorse*

Because of Jackson? Must be. That he can never get his questions answered about...ow...yeah, I totally get it. I...ow, I'm sorry. *{{{hugs}}} you a lot* I get it. Oh, honey. Yeah.

I guess it didn't hurt me because I knew where I was going with it. And Jackson's okay with it. He could teach Ray and Fraser a lot--will teach them. Children are amazing. This is one resilient kid. Really.

And Ray's going to help him with that thing...as Jackson grows and is able to understand. Ray's on the job. He's already out there investigating, finding out all about Dani, all so he can tell Jackson when he's older. I've already begun work on the sequel (though of course it's back-burnered for a while). Jackson's gonna love living with his two dads, and Dani really is in a better place....

But, okay, I take your point. I'm certainly not complaining that Arrow made me cry. Just acknowledging. She affected me very deeply. Which equals artistic

[nos4a2no9]

Jackson's gonna love living with his two dads...

Ack! You are killing me here with the anticipation, JS! I want to read the sequel soooooo badly! Maybe for next Christmas? If I'm really, really good? *makes with the big-eyed Mountie look*

[j_s_cavalcante]

I'm sorry! Didn't mean to make it worse.

If only your being good would do the trick, because it would be finished already and wrapped up with a bow.

As it is, the demands on my time are enormous, and I'm just not organized and efficient enough to deal with it all the way I'd like to. I'm working on that. I figure there's got to be a way. I just don't seem to be able to manage without letting people down right and left, here and in RL. *sighs* You see why I grok Ray so much. I think he feels that way, too. :(

[nos4a2no9]

Oh, hon, I didn't mean to add to your workload. I can absolutely sympathize with the feeling that, no matter how much you accomplish, you're always letting someone down. I promise, I am content to wait however long it takes, and even if you never get to the sequel (unlikely, because I know you always finish what you start, no matter what) but if worst comes to worst, the fic itself was a tremendous gift and I'm still stunned you were able to finish that story so quickly, and have it turn out so well. You did an amazing thing for me, there, and I'm so glad other people have responded so strongly to the story. We'd all love a sequel but you're so busy, and we are absolutely content to wait :-)

[j_s_cavalcante]

I am content to wait however long it takes, and even if you never get to the sequel (unlikely, because I know you always finish what you start, no matter what)

If only that were true. But, alas! I have four unfinished novels in Star Trek, among other stories, and some of them are quite far along. And there are projects in that fandom that I'd said I'd do but didn't have the heart to finish when DS lured me away. Mind you, I was part of that fandom for well over 30 years, so I do have good staying power in that sense. But, sadly, I can't let your statement stand. I don't always finish things. I do try! I do honestly want to. But it's just not always humanly possible. *sniffles*

but if worst comes to worst, the fic itself was a tremendous gift and I'm still stunned you were able to finish that story so quickly, and have it turn out so well. You did an amazing thing for me, there, and I'm so glad other people have responded so strongly to the story. We'd all love a sequel but you're so busy, and we are absolutely content to wait :-)

[snarkyducky]

isn't that piece just...heartbreakingly beautiful?

yes, "heartbreaking" being the operational word here (>___<)

i don't understand how writers do stuff like this.. i mean, do their hands shake when they write it?

yeowwch! that really hurt..
yes indeedy. Ray is necessary like air!

*helps glue you back*
*applies glue to self*

[j_s_cavalcante]

Obviously, I can't tell you what other authors do, but I would literally cry right through the writing of something like this. I touch-type, which would be good, because I would not be able to see through the tears

[snarkyducky]

I would literally cry right through the writing of something like this

you're still way stronger than i am. my brain simply cringes away from these concepts, and just goes "does not compute"..

i agree with you about the specialness of this fandom. i can read deathfics in other fandoms (i have about 5 of those) but i can't deal with that in dS. i still haven't read End of the Road no matter how many times people rec it.

i read this story also because i don't think Arrow would gut me and leave my bleeding on the floor.. she'd patch up my wounds at least :P

yeah, dS is my comfort fandom -- it's like a haven from the tragedy in RL and other fandoms.. (probably because the magic carries over from the canon) and so my brain automatically rejects thoughts of the boys in the same sentence as "deathfic"..

♥ :D

[arrow00]

Hey JS:

I'm glad you took a chance. I try not to leave my readers mortally wounded, although I am sometimes willing to read stories like that myself (or read them once, anyway. Such as End of the Road. Which is not a death story, Snarky. But it kilt me dead, anyway.)

I was sad as I wrote this because RAY, beautiful Ray, aiiii! At the same time I knew he was still there playing pranks and watching over Fraser and just itching to come through the veil. Probably threatening to kick Fraser in the head if he didn't wise up.

But, yeah, Ray is dead, and even just thinking that hurts.

We are lucky in this fandom to have afterlife in canon. I couldn't have written this story otherwise, since I don't subscribe to the paranormal normally. But this is dS.

He's a ghost to us, too. Not real. How is he not real?

He is so! He is! And we make him more realier with every story we write.

[j_s_cavalcante]

I'm glad you took a chance. I try not to leave my readers mortally wounded

I knew that about you. I knew that, and it gave me the courage to click the link. I'm glad I did, despite the tears.

although I am sometimes willing to read stories like that myself (or read them once, anyway. Such as End of the Road. Which is not a death story, Snarky. But it kilt me dead, anyway.)

It didn't kill me. It frustrated me. At the end I kept thinking, okay, where's the rest? Because it didn't ring true for me for the characters. As they kept making the worst possible choices, I started to feel they were veering more and more away from the characterizations I recognized. So I didn't find myself convinced by the scenario, and therefore, no tears.

I was sad as I wrote this because RAY, beautiful Ray, aiiii!

YES!!!!!

But, yeah, Ray is dead, and even just thinking that hurts.

*cries*

We are lucky in this fandom to have afterlife in canon. I couldn't have written this story otherwise, since I don't subscribe to the paranormal normally. But this

[arrow00]

It didn't kill me. It frustrated me. At the end I kept thinking, okay, where's the rest? Because it didn't ring true for me for the characters.

Well, for me the characters didn't ring true as the characters we see in the series (especially Ray, who seemed homophobic and not demonstrative, and I don't see him that way) but I felt they definitely had integrity within the story she wrote. In other words, if you treat it as an AU departure, like slivers of the characters we know but extrapolated from critical personality points, I thought it incredibly well-written and cohesive. Believable within its own universe, in other words. And so reading it for itself (and reading them both like that) depressed me for days afterward.

The one thing I did find kind of believable and true to Fraser was his love of the freedom of solitude. Which also depresses me, so I try to ignore that part of his personality. ;)

The velveteen detective?Hee. I so was thinking that. With Welsh as the Skin Horse