No more!
Shortly after 5:00 in the morning, I went outside for a cigarette. Yeah, I should've been sleeping, but that would make entirely too much sense. So anyway, I was standing out there in front of the doors, freezing my ass off and getting my nicotine fix, and I decided I was sick of it. So I said to myself, "Fuck this," I put out my half-smoked cigarette, I walked up to my room and crushed what remained of my pack of Turkish Royals before throwing them away, along with my lighter.
I will not light up again. I won't. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being controlled by nicotine. I'm tired of having to drop whatever I'm doing, put on a jacket, and go outside to get my fix. I'm tired of wasting my money on an addiction that I know is shaving away my life, minute by minute. I'm tired of the disappointment and disgust I get from some of the people in my life over the fact that I smoke. So I'm just not going to do it anymore. I tried once before and it didn't work, I started again because all of a sudden I was put under massive amounts of stress, but this time I will be stronger. I will not start again. Some people don't think I can do it, but I can. If I can make it through this weekend, when my chain-smoker of a best friend comes up to visit Tech, I know I can make it through anything else. If I can drink with the guy who got me started on this path to destruction, the one who somehow always makes me want to light up, and resist the temptation...I know I'll be OK.
Wish me luck. I'll need it.
I will not light up again. I won't. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being controlled by nicotine. I'm tired of having to drop whatever I'm doing, put on a jacket, and go outside to get my fix. I'm tired of wasting my money on an addiction that I know is shaving away my life, minute by minute. I'm tired of the disappointment and disgust I get from some of the people in my life over the fact that I smoke. So I'm just not going to do it anymore. I tried once before and it didn't work, I started again because all of a sudden I was put under massive amounts of stress, but this time I will be stronger. I will not start again. Some people don't think I can do it, but I can. If I can make it through this weekend, when my chain-smoker of a best friend comes up to visit Tech, I know I can make it through anything else. If I can drink with the guy who got me started on this path to destruction, the one who somehow always makes me want to light up, and resist the temptation...I know I'll be OK.
Wish me luck. I'll need it.