Report 063 - [Voice // Forward-dated to Friday]

[arrayed_back]

Hm.

[There's a pause after this thoughtful noise and then the voice, recognizable as Riza's, speaks again.]

I think I could get used to baking pies. I still need a little work, though.

I hope everyone has been taking advantage of this overabundance of apples. We might get sick of them, but it's food and we never know if we could run into a

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[grandvision]

[Long overdue is right. Things have been strange between them ever since the previous event. No, from the very beginning, but it had been easier to ignore. For her sake he had held back his questions, but he's glad that now she's bridged that gap. It's disconcerting, having other people know things about you that you don't, and he doesn't care for the feeling.

Roy doesn't bother responding to her on the network; he simply goes and immediately seeks her out.]

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[arrayed_back]

[She knew if she didn't bring this up soon, she'd shove it all to the back of her mind and continue ignoring it to the best of her ability. But that wasn't fair to Roy, not when this one hadn't had any choice in the matter.

He deserves the truth, that much has always been obvious. Riza just needed to get comfortable with that fact.

She's in the kitchen, putting various apples in the icebox, mostly out of a distraction than a need, but when he sees him approach, she speaks to give him a better idea of where she is.]

I'm over here.

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[He follows the sound of her voice and stops in the doorway. He wishes he could see her face, so he could read some of what she feels. For so long they had been able to communicate without words, simply because they knew each other so well. He misses it.]

Can I help with that?

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[arrayed_back]

[She stops what she's doing, no longer needing to distract herself.]

No...no, I've got it, thank you.

[And she pauses, suddenly unsure of how to continue. When she does, her voice is no longer as confident as it usually is.]

...You have questions. And I've failed to produce answers for them.

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[grandvision]

You have managed to dodge the questions quite admirably.

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[arrayed_back]

Yes, Sir.

...It's not fair for you, though.

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[He makes his way to a seat.]

Permission to speak at your leisure, Lieutenant.

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[arrayed_back]

[She watches him, waiting until he's settled in before she speaks.

If only she could figure out where to start.]

Ev...Everything Spike and I said the other week was true. I don't...know if you caught his implications, but...it was all true.

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[grandvision]

[Roy doesn't move. He probably should be able to put the pieces together... but somehow, he isn't.]

Perhaps you should elaborate.

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[arrayed_back]

[Part of her wonders if he's doing this on purpose, the bastard. But she lets out a quiet sigh and wonders how much of a bomb to drop on him.

But in the end, there's really only one thing to say and the trick is in her wording. Oh God, please don't let him freak out.]

Before that week, Spike and Faye were together, as he said. And...we were, as well.

[...Well, if that wasn't blunt. She speaks again, her words coming quickly and nervously this time, trying to bypass the awkward moment.]

I...I never said anything because it would only get in the way. What's done is done, it's in the past, that sort of thing. We've always worked just fine as it is, anyway.

[Okay, breathe Riza.]

But you needed to know, just to have the truth, so...there you go.

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[grandvision]

[A part of Roy had been expecting this. The signs had been everywhere, in the unexpected touches, the sudden silences, the occasional careless remarks. Nor was it that surprising. There had always been an unspoken understanding between them, a mutual recognition that they had silently put aside because the dream came first.

And yet the floor still falls out from under his feet (so to speak).

She had built a life with him. A life that he didn't remember, that he would never remember because it hadn't happened for him, not him as he is. He hardly knows how to feel, much less what to say.

He would never be the man she had been with.

When he finally speaks, his voice is a little hoarse.]

Thank you for telling me.

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[arrayed_back]

[The silence on his end makes everything so much worse. Of course he wouldn't take it well. She hadn't expected him to, but waiting just...

She has to bite her lip to keep from making any unnecessary noises. This is stupid. She shouldn't have even brought it up. Everything was fine and now it's going to be awkward.

Even his gratitude isn't enough to make her feel justified.]

...Yes, Sir. I won't bring it up again. It'll be just like back home. Nothing to worry about.

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[grandvision]

Don't. [He reaches for her, afraid that she's just going to leave.]

Riza. [It takes a moment for him to say her name, to choose it over her more familiar title. It feels almost wicked, like sneaking a bite of a forbidden food.]

I'm sorry. This must be hard on you.

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[She stares at his hand for a moment, knowing it would only hurt if she took it, but at the same time, it would be unfair to him.

So she cautiously reaches out and takes his hand.]

It's not your fault.

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[grandvision]

That doesn't make it any easier.

[He squeezes her hand gently before letting it go. Now that he's kept her here, he isn't sure what to say. Does he ask her for details? How much does he want to know about this life that wasn't his?

He stands abruptly.]

I think I could use a bit of air.

[He brushes by her as he heads for the door, and squeezes her shoulder. He doesn't want her to feel rejected. He just... he doesn't even know.]

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[arrayed_back]

[...Right. Right, of course he needs time. This isn't surprising. It's to be expected. Riza would probably be the same way if she were in his shoes.

It's nothing to get upset about.

It's just stupid.

...So why does it hurt so damn much?

She lets him go. Didn't she just say she'd never bring it up again? Running after him would only make her a hypocrite.

But having him touch her again, even for those brief moments, is almost too much. Memories of nights they shared together, without emotional barriers between them, flood her mind. She can still remember everything, his touches, his kisses, everything, and now they're back to the way they were.

Riza bites her lip again and keeps herself in check. She'll be strong for now. She always has been. For him.]