something deep.
i know ive mentioned this before, but sometimes, i wake up crying from nightmares. not typical dreams of monsters but of bad things happening to my family. i dreamt that my sister, my twin, for some reason, had a disease of some sort and the doctors had to amputate her whole body, all she had left where shoulders and her head. she still talked and was her usual self, but she had to have everything done for her. every time i saw her in my dream, it broke my heart unbearably, and the last thing i said to her in my dream before i woke up crying was " i wish you had at least arms so you could do stuff". meaning, i hated that her body had been taken away from her, that she had no independence, that i couldnt give her a huge hug. i couldnt understand how she could deal with losing her body so well, she didnt seem to cry or be upset, and there i was bawling and my heart was breaking to look at her. but when i said that to her, she lost it and cried to. then i woke up, and was crying like mad. ugh, why? why do i have to have dreams like this?