Singles' Awareness Day
I have a bad habit of hurting myself during the time I'm drunk and alone. I remember once I bit myself just to see if it hurts. The next day I was like "what the fuck? It hurts to touch the back of my hand. " And then I realized, I bit it when I was drunk. I bit it HARD. I mean _hard_. I don't get bruised easily.. And if I do, I need a soft place to get bruised. And just seconds ago I bit myself just to see if I feel my teeth. I did. But it felt good. And I'm drunk again.
It's giorno di San Valentino, and don't I just hate Saint Valentine's day. I sent only few messages to my friends. I hate A) SV-day's cards B) all the fucking coupling-thing it brings along C) the friends I hardly know send me messages of "Happy Valentines' Day" and my good friends ignore me. It's just a day among the others! C'mon!!
To skip the details.. I went home and did the only thing I thought I needed. I tried to open a bottle of wine - then another - then the third one that had a metal cap, and just kept drinking until it was empty. I haven't eaten today so I'm sorry if I write incorrect. I should be eating but I don't feel the hunger. I made a playlist of Dir En Grey, Malice Mizer and Schwarz Stein and I found the MM again. It is something you can listen any time. With Gackt, with Klaha. (Not with Tetsu, no no no.) It is just.. Malice Mizer! Can I say more?
It seems I have deleted myself from ii2.org. Hmm. Think I need to get myself back again to greet my friend.