FUCK ME, MATT, IT'S THANKSGIVING!
I wasn't really sure how to approach this. I thought about a video, or maybe writing it out by hand -- but I don't think any method I could take for discussing my feelings today could genuinely express them.
Maybe there are degrees of thankfulness, but I don't think I'm more thankful for one thing over another today.
I'm thankful for my health and the comfort that provides. I am thankful for my body and that I can feel like I belong in it at this time when I see so many of my friends struggling to figure out how they feel.
I'm thankful that I am increasingly more at home with my sexuality, not just in terms of orientation but also with the idea of sexuality not being a source of shame.
I'm thankful that I can say that my sexual orientation is something I can be at home with and treat that as something that can be taken for granted -- that I live in an atmosphere that allows me that.
I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my immediate family, for my Dad and how hard he works for us, braving a job that treats him wrongly and then coming home and trying to keep this house together. For my mom, who is always there for me and listens and understands me -- who is not quick to judge and who has raised me to be a person who strives to be understanding and have values, not because she sets out to feed me her ideals but because she shows the value through example. You know, she went to work early yesterday, screwing over her sleep, just so she could get up early today and be around us on Thanksgiving? My parents are not, through the eyes of many around me, successful people or even necessarily good parents -- but they are people who work hard for what they have, and they really try to be good people as best as they know how. They care about me and they give me more than I'm worth.
I'm thankful for my sister. Sometimes she can really get on my nerves, you know -- she's my sister. But, at the same time, she's a dear friend of mine -- we spent forever last night watching Switchfoot and Spring Awakening videos on YouTube, drooling over Matt Doyle and poking around MySpace... I don't know many other people that would do that, sit there with me and enjoy that exchange of interests.
I'm thankful for my family in general -- the great varying groups of people, with their faults and their talents, who influence me and influence the people who influence me. I am thankful that my paternal grandfather is well, and I am thankful that my maternal grandparents are holding on in their hard times and that their health is something they've had the privilege of taking for granted for such a long time.
I'm thankful for my education. I complain about my school sometimes, how occasionally snooty and unaccepting it is, but the truth is, I know of so many schools in worse shape that I could be at, and I am fortunate to get the opportunity to go to school at all.
I'm thankful for my friends. I have people I see at school every day who really seem to care about me, though I feel like I hardly know them -- people who are just good people, nice people, and sometimes it's easy to forget that there are people like that in the world. I have people across the country and across the world that, though I have not ever been there physically for most of them, they... love me. And I love them, so much, and it seems like it might be weird to be so involved in the lives of people I've never touched, to me it just makes sense. That includes all the people on my flist -- people like tehsexypotato, amything, harbek, dreamsofstars, eeanface, arfwoogah, lauzziemarie, meemsers, n00dl3d00dl3, nummy_cream_puf, starletfallen, thru_violets, and vivavantramp -- if I had time to speak of my love and admiration for all of you and your varied talents, your varied fears which I see you battle or have already overcome, what you mean to me, I would try. There are people who I'm only just beginning to know -- reading their entries and seeing the varied lives that make up our world, so many different attitudes and lifestyles yet somehow all sort of... the same.
I'm thankful for the internet, which allows me to meet these people, to learn these things about the world and myself, and to put on projects like The Gaian Theatre Company -- which has grown so much in the past year and, even when it upsets me and becomes a lot of work, is a rewarding hobby.
I'm thankful that, after reaching a point where I was comfortable with the idea of not having been in a relationship, now I am growing comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship, and that I am being taught the value of patience, fighting the ache of distance, and realizing the thrill of love with one of my best friends -- labellacaracol.
I'm thankful that I'm here, sitting in my favorite place as we get ready to welcome family over for dinner and company, and able to share with you all, strangers and friends who I all hold dear to me, if only because you are so willing to hear me, all of these things -- just, even the tip of the iceburg of things -- that I am so grateful to count among my blessings this Thanksgiving.
Here's hoping that the year left and the year to come will continue to bring us all things we can be thankful for.
Maybe there are degrees of thankfulness, but I don't think I'm more thankful for one thing over another today.
I'm thankful for my health and the comfort that provides. I am thankful for my body and that I can feel like I belong in it at this time when I see so many of my friends struggling to figure out how they feel.
I'm thankful that I am increasingly more at home with my sexuality, not just in terms of orientation but also with the idea of sexuality not being a source of shame.
I'm thankful that I can say that my sexual orientation is something I can be at home with and treat that as something that can be taken for granted -- that I live in an atmosphere that allows me that.
I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my immediate family, for my Dad and how hard he works for us, braving a job that treats him wrongly and then coming home and trying to keep this house together. For my mom, who is always there for me and listens and understands me -- who is not quick to judge and who has raised me to be a person who strives to be understanding and have values, not because she sets out to feed me her ideals but because she shows the value through example. You know, she went to work early yesterday, screwing over her sleep, just so she could get up early today and be around us on Thanksgiving? My parents are not, through the eyes of many around me, successful people or even necessarily good parents -- but they are people who work hard for what they have, and they really try to be good people as best as they know how. They care about me and they give me more than I'm worth.
I'm thankful for my sister. Sometimes she can really get on my nerves, you know -- she's my sister. But, at the same time, she's a dear friend of mine -- we spent forever last night watching Switchfoot and Spring Awakening videos on YouTube, drooling over Matt Doyle and poking around MySpace... I don't know many other people that would do that, sit there with me and enjoy that exchange of interests.
I'm thankful for my family in general -- the great varying groups of people, with their faults and their talents, who influence me and influence the people who influence me. I am thankful that my paternal grandfather is well, and I am thankful that my maternal grandparents are holding on in their hard times and that their health is something they've had the privilege of taking for granted for such a long time.
I'm thankful for my education. I complain about my school sometimes, how occasionally snooty and unaccepting it is, but the truth is, I know of so many schools in worse shape that I could be at, and I am fortunate to get the opportunity to go to school at all.
I'm thankful for my friends. I have people I see at school every day who really seem to care about me, though I feel like I hardly know them -- people who are just good people, nice people, and sometimes it's easy to forget that there are people like that in the world. I have people across the country and across the world that, though I have not ever been there physically for most of them, they... love me. And I love them, so much, and it seems like it might be weird to be so involved in the lives of people I've never touched, to me it just makes sense. That includes all the people on my flist -- people like tehsexypotato, amything, harbek, dreamsofstars, eeanface, arfwoogah, lauzziemarie, meemsers, n00dl3d00dl3, nummy_cream_puf, starletfallen, thru_violets, and vivavantramp -- if I had time to speak of my love and admiration for all of you and your varied talents, your varied fears which I see you battle or have already overcome, what you mean to me, I would try. There are people who I'm only just beginning to know -- reading their entries and seeing the varied lives that make up our world, so many different attitudes and lifestyles yet somehow all sort of... the same.
I'm thankful for the internet, which allows me to meet these people, to learn these things about the world and myself, and to put on projects like The Gaian Theatre Company -- which has grown so much in the past year and, even when it upsets me and becomes a lot of work, is a rewarding hobby.
I'm thankful that, after reaching a point where I was comfortable with the idea of not having been in a relationship, now I am growing comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship, and that I am being taught the value of patience, fighting the ache of distance, and realizing the thrill of love with one of my best friends -- labellacaracol.
I'm thankful that I'm here, sitting in my favorite place as we get ready to welcome family over for dinner and company, and able to share with you all, strangers and friends who I all hold dear to me, if only because you are so willing to hear me, all of these things -- just, even the tip of the iceburg of things -- that I am so grateful to count among my blessings this Thanksgiving.
Here's hoping that the year left and the year to come will continue to bring us all things we can be thankful for.