There is one customer who spends more time in my store than I do. She's this really crazy hawaiian lady that endlessly makes and cuts out construction paper leaves. Today she told me she had finished four hundred, and that her goal was a thousand.
Another customer is frequently drunk when she comes in. She's a middle-aged woman and she is a horrible rambler, going on and on and on well past the point when anyone is even making eye contact with her. Tonight she started haranguing me about our lack of ashtrays. I pointed out that I didn't have any. That did not satisfy her. A young woman pointed out that smoking outside a restaurant was illegal in California. Enraged, the drunken customer repeated how long she had lived in California three times and decried both of us for being tobacco nazis. I just didn't have any damn ashtrays.
After the crazy drunken customer left the younger customer proceeded to say dumb things about marijuana. She said that it wasn't carcinogenic (I'm pretty sure it's more carcinogenic then cigarettes). Then she claimed it was "good for you because it's medicinal." I'm pretty sure that is about the dumbest thing I've heard recently that didn't come out of the mouth of Mel Gibson. I rolled my eyes and informed her that medicinal usually meant slightly worse for the disease than for you. Then I apologized for the other customer yelling at her.
Lots of Starbucks don't take $100 bills. The idea is if you traffic in smaller bills there's less to lose at a time. Well one toadhead launched into a five-minute harangue about the decline of western civilization because the barista said that they could get in trouble for taking it. He repeated the phrase "this is 2004" four times. It did not grow relevant with repetition.