All these feelings, and no where to put them
Ok, How to say this,
Latly I have been feelling, lonely, depressed, sad, hurt, down, cheated, self pitty, hatard towards myself ( for doing stupid stuff, not in genral) stupid, selfish, and all these other things,
I have really been feeling more of the effects of lossing my one true love. And I am really hurt by the fact that I may never have that wedding, or the family we had planned together for so long to have. Also this is the month we had talked about getting married in, and we were just not to long ago. And seeing him everyday, looking at him and thinking how I may never get my dream of marring the 1st guy I had kissed. And it sucks and I really kinda sometimes hate myself for being so stupid as to lie about some stupid small unimportate stuff. I messed up my whole dream, life, and most important us. And it makes me regert dropping out of school, leaving w/o a notice to hardly anyone. And what happened out of all of it, I ended up with a broken heart, hurt friendship, and i hurt the one guy that means more to me than anything, the one guy i love truly love,, I hurt, and may never get the once perfect happy couple back.
I mean, I know what he wants, he wants me to change and that don't seam that hard, but when I try it its just so diffcult, I just try and fail and fail and fail again, I just really want things to be back as they were but they won't, but I just have to try and not be scard, Not just for him, or me, but for all my relationships, and if things never get back to the way they were, i want my next relationship to be "the one' and I don't want to mess it up, but I know for a fact that there will not be a "next" relationship for a long long time, I am going to keep trying and change, and try to get back together wih him, b/c i still love him, and that wouldn't be right going out with someone else when i still love to death brandon
gosh, i just wish i had a time traveling device, i'd go back and never do the stupid things i did, than my life would be good, i'd be happy, i'd have someone loving me and not just loving them, i could even be married, i could be a Mrs. heck and all that jazz. I could be on my honney moon right now. Ok not going to remind myself about that. but yeah, thanks for just taking the time to read this, could u do me a favor and leave a comment, even if its something small, just knowing other people carea bout me and seeing it not just hearing it might help me feel a lil better
Latly I have been feelling, lonely, depressed, sad, hurt, down, cheated, self pitty, hatard towards myself ( for doing stupid stuff, not in genral) stupid, selfish, and all these other things,
I have really been feeling more of the effects of lossing my one true love. And I am really hurt by the fact that I may never have that wedding, or the family we had planned together for so long to have. Also this is the month we had talked about getting married in, and we were just not to long ago. And seeing him everyday, looking at him and thinking how I may never get my dream of marring the 1st guy I had kissed. And it sucks and I really kinda sometimes hate myself for being so stupid as to lie about some stupid small unimportate stuff. I messed up my whole dream, life, and most important us. And it makes me regert dropping out of school, leaving w/o a notice to hardly anyone. And what happened out of all of it, I ended up with a broken heart, hurt friendship, and i hurt the one guy that means more to me than anything, the one guy i love truly love,, I hurt, and may never get the once perfect happy couple back.
I mean, I know what he wants, he wants me to change and that don't seam that hard, but when I try it its just so diffcult, I just try and fail and fail and fail again, I just really want things to be back as they were but they won't, but I just have to try and not be scard, Not just for him, or me, but for all my relationships, and if things never get back to the way they were, i want my next relationship to be "the one' and I don't want to mess it up, but I know for a fact that there will not be a "next" relationship for a long long time, I am going to keep trying and change, and try to get back together wih him, b/c i still love him, and that wouldn't be right going out with someone else when i still love to death brandon
gosh, i just wish i had a time traveling device, i'd go back and never do the stupid things i did, than my life would be good, i'd be happy, i'd have someone loving me and not just loving them, i could even be married, i could be a Mrs. heck and all that jazz. I could be on my honney moon right now. Ok not going to remind myself about that. but yeah, thanks for just taking the time to read this, could u do me a favor and leave a comment, even if its something small, just knowing other people carea bout me and seeing it not just hearing it might help me feel a lil better