Smile [drabble]
He always knew this would happen one day. In the bottom of his heart, a little part of him expected to be left behind. Still, this didn’t make things easier.
It had been Jin’s dream to perform abroad. He used to always talk about this and about how much he loved America. He always wanted to go there some day and his wish finally came true in 2006, even if it was for a short time. Jin managed to taste complete freedom and Kazuya thought this would be enough.
But it wasn’t.
This wasn’t Kazuya’s dream, only Jin’s. He never understood Jin’s passion for this language - he personally thought that it was just another language with a funny accent. But not for Jin. For Jin it was always a special dialect and he tried his best to learn it, making different friends and talking with them in English, like he wanted to forget that he’s Japanese.
Sometimes, even forgetting about Kazuya.
“I’m leaving.”
He looked up to see Jin’s face, his eyes observing him carefully. He wanted to say so many things, but Kazuya felt like his tongue was glued and he couldn’t speak. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. And what could he say now?
That he’d miss him? That he doesn’t want him to go? He couldn’t do that because this would make Jin’s smile disappear and Kazuya didn’t want that. Since he could remember, Jin’s smile was the only thing that managed to cheer him up when he was really down. When he made mistakes, Jin would come to him, pat his head and say nothing - and this always made Kazuya feel better and forget about his problems.
He didn’t want to tell Jin that he doesn’t want to be left alone. His whole life revolved around his best friend and his heart clenched at the thought that now he doesn’t have anyone to go to when he needs someone. He can’t go to Jin anymore because Jin won’t be there waiting for him.
“Take care.”
This was the only thing he could say at this point. They weren’t band mates anymore, they were just colleagues. Jin wasn’t his best friend anymore, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had a decent talk with the other. When they were younger, they used to hang out everyday and talk about their lives, about what happened to them lately.
With a sigh, Kazuya admitted that he doesn’t know anymore what Jin is up to.
He answered Jin’s smile with a fake one and watched him turn around and heading to the plane and to another country. He couldn’t say what was on his mind. It was too late for that now.
Too late for ‘I love you’.
He left quickly, trying to not be spotted by Jin’s other friends who came to see him off. He got in his car and that’s when he finally let his emotions take over. Jin left. He won’t be seeing him for a long time. They won’t be working together anymore.
He was all alone again.
A beep interrupted his thoughts and Kazuya glanced at his phone. He fished it out of his pocket and read the message that Jin send him seconds ago.
“I love you too.”
So he smiled.