Secret Whispers - Chapter fourteen [part II]

[aroruae]

PART I

*

They hadn’t uttered another word for the next hours until they got to their destination. Jin finally stopped the car after what seemed an eternity spent in total silence in which the older kept stealing glances at the sleeping Kazuya. He turned to look at the younger and a small smile graced his lips as he got a little closer and watched him sleeping for a while.

After all, Kazuya hadn’t changed at all, Jin thought as he let his eyes linger on the boy’s face and examined his features. He looked like he had been through a lot and had grown up a lot too, but when he was like this, with his eyes closed and his mouth shut, Jin could feel that time hadn’t passed and that they were still the same as they were three years ago. He lifted his hand, a little unsure of what he was doing, and gently touched Kazuya’s cheek, tracing a thin line on it and his smile widening a little as he saw the boy moving in his sleep, like he was searching for his warmth.

“Kazuya…” he whispered his name to wake him up even though Jin knew that this will destroy the spell that had fallen over him and that Kazuya will return to that same person who hated him. Even so, his voice was gentle and full of the love he was caring for that boy who had stolen his heart three years ago.

Kazuya stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes lazily, his vision clearing a bit and focusing on Jin. For a split moment, his eyes watered and his lips curled up a bit, a bittersweet expression passing over his features. But it had lasted for a fleeting moment - making it almost seem imaginary - and then the younger’s lips were pursed into a thin line and his eyes were as harsh as ever. “Take your hand away from me.” He growled and there was no trace of those momentary emotions that seemed to have showed on his face.

“Uuuh, snappy.” Jin joked and laughed as he pulled back his hand. After all, he had been expecting such a reaction. “We’re here.” He then proceeded to announce, getting out of the car and stretching a little after a long trip. “And the weather is more than beautiful.” He added, spinning on the same spot and laughing like a little child as he took some snow and threw it in the air.

Kazuya looked out of the car and his jaw dropped. No wonder he had felt cold since a while ago, the bastard had brought him to the mountains!! He hugged his own body, taking his legs under him. “You fucking idiot!” He shouted from the car, the door Jin had left open making the inside of the vehicle even chiller. “I’m not getting out of here!” Kazuya added stubbornly and pulled his pajamas over his knees, trying to make himself warmer.

Jin laughed some more and stuck out his tongue at the younger, feeling the coldness to be rather comforting than annoying and welcoming it with his arms large opened even if he was dressed only in a pair of long and thin pants and a T-shirt. “Do what you want, but I’m going inside.” He said as he showed the keys to Kazuya and turned his back on him to go to the door, intending to leave the younger there if the other one didn’t want to budge.

Kazuya looked thunderstruck at the retreating back of Jin’s and wanted to go out after him, to give him a lesson, no matter that he was in his pajamas but he stopped as he wanted to step out of the car. “IDIOT!! I’m barefooted!” He shouted after Jin and for a moment, his voice echoed around. Kazuya gulped as he looked behind him and saw the mountain crests rising proudly behind him. What if his loud voice was going to provoke an avalanche? “Come and take me.” He looked back to Jin and his voice was considerably lower than earlier, but loud enough for the older to hear him.

Jin smirked as he heard the younger’s request, showing an indifferent expression as he turned to look at Kazuya and approached him again. He opened the door to the car and entered it a little, his smirk now back on his lips as he caught Kazuya and pulled him out so that he would land in his arms. “Your wish is my command, princess.” He said with a taunting tone, like he had done this once more in the past.

“Fuck you.” Kazuya hissed as his hands grabbed Jin’s neck to support himself better. “You know I’ll skin you alive once we enter the house, right?” he said as he turned to look at Jin, their faces pretty close. Kazuya hoped that his rapid beating heart won’t betray him.

“Promises, promises.” Jin rolled his eyes, like Kazuya had just made a funny joke. He then threw the boy a little in the air to be able to hold him with just one hand as his other one fetched the keys from his pocket and opened the door, kicking it open with the leg and closing it in the same way. “It’s still cold here.” He explained the fact that he hadn’t let him go not even now that they were in the house and proceeded to go to the living room, only then letting him down on the couch while Jin went to make the fire.

Kazuya crouched on the couch and looked at Jin, his lips still pursed and his eyes glaring. “Don’t you have a change of clothes here?” He suddenly asked and shivered a little. “You could have at least kidnapped me when I was still wearing outside clothes, not pajamas.” He added with a scowl on his face. “Idiot.” He muttered and curled like a cat now.

“But where’s the fun in that?”Jin pouted as he stood up to look at Kazuya. He left the room for a few seconds and then came back with two fluffy blankets, throwing one to the younger and keeping one for himself. “It’s warmer next to the fire.” He said and proceeded to follow his own advice as he crouched down in front of the fire, a small smile on his lips.

Kazuya looked at the blanket for a couple of moments before he quickly wrapped it around himself, though still not finding the warmth he needed. The younger then looked at Jin who was enjoying the fire and a mischievous gleam appeared in the brown of his eyes. Oh yes, definitely more fun, he mused and let the blanket fall from his body. “My bare feet are frozen.” Kazuya whined all of a sudden. “Take me to the fire.” He demanded with a pout. Jin will regret kidnapping Kazuya like this.

The older cocked an amused eyebrow at Kazuya and looked at him to see if he was really serious or just kidding. He laughed softly and stood up, letting the blanket fall on the floor as he walked towards Kazuya and lifted him up in his arms with a smirk dancing on his lips. “You’ve become really spoiled.” He noticed with a teasing tone as he returned in front of the fireplace and put Kazuya down. Jin looked at him for a few seconds before also settling down in the back of Kazuya, the boy now standing between his open legs. The actor pretended to be an innocent move as his arms slipped around Kazuya’s body, his blanket now covering the both of them. “Definitely much better.” He said with a sigh, resting his chin on the younger’s shoulder, his breath tickling Kazuya’s ear.

Kazuya shook his head a little, to make the taunting sensation on his ear go away. He had to admit that he had been a bit reckless in asking Jin such a thing, now that he was in his arms and making him feel like three years have not passed at all, like all of what happened between them was still connecting them. But he soon drove away such emotions as reality washed over him. So the younger leaned even more on Jin, feeling the other’s heart beating just a tad faster. “You’re really happy to hold me like this, aren’t you?” He asked with a small chuckle. “Your heart beats quite faster when I’m around.” He then added and like his earlier chuckle, it was mocking.

Jin just smiled and tightened a little his hold on Kazuya, cuddling the boy even more at his chest. “And why do you think my heart beats so fast whenever you’re around?” he simply asked and tilted his head a little to be able to look at Kazuya and into his eyes.

The younger looked back and they stood like this - their gazes locked - and no one said nothing until Kazuya’s lips curled into a sarcastic smile. “According to you, it’s because you’re a fool and you love me, right?” He answered to Jin’s question and broke their eye contact by looking at the dancing fire in their front.

Jin smirked as he got a little closer to Kazuya’s ear and whispered the words into it. “I thought you didn’t believe me when I said that I love you.” He said with a low and slightly teasing voice, his lips touching the younger’s ear lob as he talked and breathed in the boy’s ear intentionally, knowing that it was a weak spot for him and wanting to feel him trembling in his arms.

Of course, Kazuya had never said such things, but for Jin it was obvious that the younger must think this and even must be sure that Jin had never loved him and just wanted to play with him. Whoever was the person that had meddled into their relationship, it seemed that he had done a great job.

The bad part of this was that the only person Jin could think of to be able to do such a thing was Ryo.

And as Jin expected, Kazuya’s body did give a slight tremble but the younger kept silent for a few moments before pulling himself from Jin’s embrace, no more leaning against the older. He had to admit that the fact that Jin knew his weak spot wasn’t helping him very much in his idea of fun - that being mocking Jin’s supposed love for him - and he was slightly affected as memories once more came back flowing at him. “Of course I don’t believe you.” Kazuya replied and his expression was a bit different now that Jin wasn’t able to see him. “I’m just astounded at your stupidity of still believing that you’re in love with me and that there had been any love between us from the start.” He gave a shrug and his eyes darkened. The words he was saying were a double-edge sword.

“But you said my heart beats faster because I love you.” Jin said with a small pout as he once again made the distance between them disappear and trapped the boy for the second time in his arms, keeping him close to his heart. “And your heart beats the same.” He continued with a small voice and a low tone, feeling how his own heart had started pounding faster at this realization. “It’s the same as that night when I held you like this for the last time.” He said, now sounding a little sad and longing, like he was remembering something that was making him extremely happy and extremely miserable in the same time.

Kazuya closed his eyes at Jin’s last sentence, for a moment the memory of that night flashing inside his mind like a knife penetrating one’s skin. “My heart beats faster because you know my weak spot. So don’t flatter yourself by believing what isn’t true.” The younger said and his voice was a tad harsh, more than usual. “Also, let go of me. I’m no longer frozen, so there’s no need to do this anymore.” He pulled himself once more, hating the fact that Jin was able to sway him this much, killing his idea of having fun.

“Okay.” Jin accepted way too easily as he stood up and looked at Kazuya with a smile. He was feeling satisfied for the moment and Kazuya was finally starting to show his real face around Jin, so the older felt that there was no need to push things too much for the time being. After all, time was on his side for once. “I’ll go and make the fire in the other rooms and after that, we can eat something, okay?” he said before leaving Kazuya alone, the wide smile still dancing on his lips.

Oh, it was going to be a great day for Jin.

Kazuya sighed after he heard the older leaving and he soon brought his knees to his chest, holding them with his hands. There was a battle of emotions going inside of him, each of it burning to a greater intensity and consuming him entirely. He was afraid of being with Jin alone because in a way or another, he’ll hurt more at the end of this day and once more he’ll dream of the past like he had been doing in the last days since Jin had stormed back into his life.

But somehow… he had expected this. He had felt that once Ryo will promote his movie, Jin will come back after him. Not because of what had been between them, but because he had left without a word and Jin had never gotten to have his way more than once with him. After all, he only cared enough for him to wait and have sex with him, he hadn’t pressured but went along patiently. And now he was claiming high and mighty how much he loved him, how he’ll never give up…

It was vexing, really. Kazuya hid his face between his knees, sighing some more. As much as he hated to admit, he was hurting. Because with Jin, he had done things he would have never even dared to think about. And the other… he crumbled those things like they were nothing. They had meant nothing to Jin while to Kazuya, they had meant everything. He wasn’t going to get involved a second time into such a mess, not when he had Ryo and his life was back to normal.

Though, he couldn’t deny the fact that he had felt disappointment the moment Jin had let go of him so easily, making him feel all of a sudden lonely. Kazuya chuckled to himself before looking back at the fire.

It reminded him of the candle lights. At the end of this day, it will burn out.

It took a while until Jin danced back to the room where Kazuya was waiting for him, skipping happily and feeling totally overjoyed. He was now dressed with long, black and fluffy pants and a big sweater to keep him warm and another pair of clothes was in his hands. He put them on the couch and silently approached Kazuya, trying to not make any noise and to not disturb him from his thoughts. He crouched behind him and raised his hands to put them on the younger’s shoulders, letting them slide on the boy’s arms and catching his hands within his, entwining them but letting this to be the only contact between their bodies.

Kazuya stiffened in Jin’s sudden embrace and for a moment, he wished that all of those years to vanish. But it was just a fleeting wish and wishes didn’t come true. He didn’t do anything to remove Jin’s arms around him, but he silently enjoyed the bittersweet moment before he’ll have to tear it apart. “I believe I told you that there’s no need for you to hold me anymore.” Kazuya said with a hoarse voice, hiding feelings underneath.

“Well, I just thought you might have missed me.” Jin stated happily, briefly kissing Kazuya’s cheek before letting him go and standing up once again. “I brought you clothes.” He then added quickly, going to the couch to retrieve them and to give them to Kazuya, like everything was fine between the two of them.

Kazuya looked at the clothes, his brain not registering anything that was in front of him. Except from the spot that Jin’s lips had touched his cheek, he wasn’t aware of anything else. It had been a long time since he had felt them so close and so warm. Unconsciously, he brought his hand to his cheek and then looked at Jin, his brown eyes expressing shock and confusion.

“Kazuya?” Jin called his name, not understanding why wasn’t the younger coming to get the clothes. So he got closer to Kazuya and leaned down, their eyes being now at the same level. “Too shocked?” he chuckled, amused by the feelings he was starting to recognize in the boy’s eyes.

Kazuya pulled away quickly, the closeness not being too good for his heart. “Fuck you.” He hissed and glared at Jin, now completely recovered from his shock. “If you do that again, I’ll make you eat coal.” He threatened, his eyes narrowing dangerously. He stood up and took the clothes from a laughing Jin, exiting the room and going upstairs where he believed the bedrooms were.

The older didn’t try to stop him and just shook his head, going to the car to get the stuff he had brought and to make them something to eat. It took him a little more than half an hour to finish and when he was ready, he called for the younger to come and eat. And of course, he didn’t receive any answer.

Jin sighed and peeked to the living room to see if Kazuya had gone back there, going upstairs when he didn’t find him. “Kazuya?” he called him again as he looked at the three bedrooms that were there and decided to try the biggest one, thinking that it was likely to find him there. And as he had thought, he really was there, curled up in Jin’s bed and staring at the fire place.

“See?” the actor laughed as he entered the room and blocked Kazuya’s sight. “You’re already feeling more relaxed.” He joked and crossed his arms, looking with an amused smirk at the boy.

Kazuya glared at Jin and turned the other way, snuggling even more under the covers. “Go away. You’re disturbing my relaxing time.” He mocked the older and took a deep breath as he wriggled some more under the covers to find his best position. Too bad he had done that, because Jin’s scent filled his nostrils and made him remember the first time he had dressed the other’s clothes. It made him angry.

“And you’ll continue your relaxing time after you eat something.” Jin said, chuckling softly at the younger’s stubbornness. “Or you want me to carry you in my arms again, princess?” he continued with a tease in his voice, his knee already on the bed to do he had threatened to. “Or do you want me to feed you?” he added, sounding more delighted by this possible choice, now his hands also on the bed, next to Kazuya’s head.

The younger moved a bit further away from Jin. “Oh, do please try to feed me. I’ll bite and chop off your fingers while you’re at it.” Kazuya’s voice was heard and he dived under the covers with an evil cackle.

“Okay then.” Jin shrugged and with a swift move he threw the blankets from Kazuya and in the next second, he lifted him up in his arms, smiling proudly at him. “Both choices it is then.” He stated with a grin and climbed off bed to go the kitchen.

But Kazuya wasn’t going to keep still so he started to struggle to get off Jin’s arms. “I won’t eat anything and I won’t go anywhere!” He shouted and moved frantically, even if he was aware that if he fell, he’ll hurt himself. “You kidnapped me, I won’t eat anything!!” He continued to behave like a child.

“Kazuya, do as I say or I’ll kiss you to make you shut up.” He threatened with a firm voice and a spark in his eyes that clearly revealed how much he actually wanted to do this.

And this had an immediate effect on Kazuya who stilled in Jin’s arms, an angry pout forming on his lips. “Like you’ll get away with it.” He muttered and glared at the older. “And I’ll bite your tongue if you do that.”

“Well, at least I’ll be able to kiss you.” Jin laughed, his eyes staring into Kazuya’s and showing his deep desire and not-so-hidden intentions. “But let me tell you that I’ll do this if you don’t eat.” He continued as he opened the door to the kitchen and revealed the table full with mostly American food, putting down Kazuya and inviting him with a smile to take a seat.

The younger looked at the table, at Jin and then quickly dashed to the door. Luckily Jin had enough experience with Kazuya to be able to react fast and grab his waist before the boy had the chance to run from the kitchen, pulling him back and trapping him in his arms. “I see you really want me to kiss you.” He stated with a wide grin on his face, his lips dangerously close to Kazuya’s.

The younger’s eyes darkened and he tried to pull himself away from Jin, failing beautifully. “You want me that much to want you to kiss me?” Kazuya mocked the actor as he struggled some more.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt if you’d admit that you want me to kiss you too,” Jin shrugged calmly, making sure that his grip on the boy was tight enough to not let him free himself, “but I’m sure you know that I like a harder game.” He smirked as he whispered the last two words at Kazuya’s ear.

Kazuya shuddered and stiffened in an instant, feeling the same weak sensation in his knees like three years ago. “Then maybe I should submit to you quickly so that you’ll get tired.” He mocked the older, believing that this had happened before.

Jin’s smirk grew even wider as he turned Kazuya around in his arms, now facing him and staring into his eyes with a deep and burning desire to possess him. “Like you would be that kind to do that.” He said with a smile and a taunting voice, his grip on Kazuya now being a little loose but still keeping him glued to his own body.

Kazuya’s lips curled up sarcastically. “Why not?” he asked with a mean voice. “If this is how I’ll get you out of my life, then I’m willing to do anything.” He continued and his eyes sparkled devilish like. “Even if it means to kiss you.” Kazuya tilted his head and for a second, their lips were closer than ever.

“Then prove it.” Jin challenged him, getting even closer to get their lips to briefly touch, his eyes still fixed on Kazuya’s as he waited for his next move.

The fleeting touch made Kazuya’s skin tingle and his body reacted instantly, welcoming a sudden wave of raw desire. His hands gripped Jin’s shoulders as his eyes were burning with intensity. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He breathed the words and soon enough, the tip of his tongue brushed Jin’s lower lip. “But I won’t.” Kazuya added and pulled back a little, putting some distance between their lips.

“I knew you don’t have the guts.” Jin sighed dramatically, shaking his head a little like he had been expecting from the beginning Kazuya to back down in the last moment. “What a shame.” He said and faked another sigh, letting his head on the younger’s shoulder and taking a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of Kazuya that he had missed so much.

The younger gritted his teeth and his hand found its way into Jin’s hair, pulling on it and forcing the older to meet his eyes. “Oh, really?” Kazuya smirked and before Jin had the chance to reply anything, he crushed their lips together, forcing his tongue inside the other’s mouth.

Jin smirked into the kiss, happy that Kazuya had finally surrendered to his words and satisfied to feel the same hunger in their kiss that had been three years ago too and had never disappeared from Jin and apparently, from Kazuya too. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss and let his tongue enter Kazuya’s mouth too, exploring it and feeling the same warm sensation that it had always been there whenever he kissed the boy. His hands tightened their hold a little on Kazuya’s waist, grinding their bodies together and slipping a leg between Kazuya’s to feel him closer.

The younger’s body arched a little as he felt more of Jin, as their tongues danced, their lips brushed and their hearts beat in the same rhythm. He felt like he had gone back into the past, like they were still the same, nothing changed. But it was an illusion and Kazuya needed to put an end to illusions in his life. As he thought this, he gathered the last of his strength and pushed Jin away from him, breaking their kiss and sudden closure. He was breathing hard as he looked at the older, his lips reddened and his eyes misty with desire. “There. I’ve done it.” Kazuya said with a scoff, like this hadn’t affected him more than he would have liked to admit.

Jin chuckled, amused and in the same time, a little surprised to see the younger still trying to keep his mask and not admit how much he had wanted this too. His words could lie, but his lips never did and his fast pounding heart was telling Jin more than it was necessary. “Then are you ready to eat now,” he inquired with a small smile and a tilt of his head, “or are we going to do this again?” he asked innocently, but somehow being far from it.

Kazuya quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “You said if I kissed you, I’m not required to eat.” The younger replied, his eyes glaring a little. “So keep your word at least this time.” He then reproached, his expression slowly changing to the one he had been using around Jin since he had come back.

“No, I said I’ll kiss you to make you eat.” The actor proceeded to remind the young boy, his lips curled up in a little smile as he laughed softly. “So, you’re the one who needs to keep his word this time.” He added, intentionally repeating the last words Kazuya had said.

The younger frowned. “Unlike you, I always keep my word.” He said through gritted teeth, his eyes hardening on Jin’s figure. He then looked at the food on the table and wriggled his nose. “Besides, I don’t eat food like this.”

“Spoilt princess.” Jin accused him as he took some fries from the plate and took them to his mouth, munching on them happily. “It’s not like I know to make something else. And besides, it’s good food, once in a while.” He stated with a shrug.

“And that’s why you’ve gotten fat.” Kazuya snorted and looked away from the food and Jin. “I almost didn’t recognize you the first time.” He laughed evilly.

“And that’s why you need to eat some of this food.” Jin said as he grabbed Kazuya’s hand and pulled the boy after him to make him sit down on the couch, next to him. He took some more fries from the plate and propped his elbow on the table, his hand with the fries being only a few inches from Kazuya’s mouth, waiting for it to open and eat. “And I’m not fat!” He continued with an exaggerated pout like he had just remembered this.

Kazuya glared at Jin. “Oh, yes, you are.” He smirked with a mean expression before he opened his mouth and took the fries and Jin’s fingers in the same time, biting and licking them. “Yuck. They’re awful.” He replied as he began to chew on the fries.

“They’re not awful!” Jin pouted again, whining like a little child and flipping his legs under the table. Nevertheless, he now took a sausage and brought it to Kazuya’s mouth, curious to see how much the younger will continue like this and secretly wanting to feel his lips on his fingers again even if it was a little masochistic from him.

Kazuya wriggled his nose at the sausage in front of him and continued to chew on his fries, finally swallowing them. “I can’t eat that much.” He said with a shake of his head. “You take the other part and we’ll munch on it until we reach half.” Kazuya suggested, remembering that he had seen this in a movie a few times and he had been meaning to try it.

“Huh?” Jin exclaimed, surprised and shocked and confused, his wide eyes and large opened mouth betraying the fact that he was doubting he had really heard this. After all, Kazuya was supposed to hate him, wasn’t he? And Jin didn’t remember him to be so daring.

Kazuya bit his tongue before he laughed a bit embarrassed. “I was joking.” He cheekily stuck out his tongue at Jin, stealing the sausage from him and taking a bite from it. “I can’t believe you really thought I’d do something like this again.” He laughed some more, his real thoughts well hidden. Actually, he had never realized what he had proposed to Jin until the older had reacted like that. For a moment, he had forgotten he was with Ryo and that he had been kidnapped from his bed at four in the morning.

Jin growled annoyed and frustrated that he had fallen into Kazuya’s trap. “You’re going to murder me someday.” He simply stated and let his head fall down on the table, hitting it with a loud bang.

Kazuya laughed and patted his head in a mocking comfort.

*

Needless to say that it took more than one hour for them to finish their food, bickering all the time, trying to tease each other and make the other to admit defeat. After all their fries had been eaten and the table was empty of food, Jin decided that it was time for a little change and some exercise. So he turned to the younger boy and looked at him with a smirk dancing on his lips, his eyes already challenging him. “Let’s go outside.” He proposed with a light tone, like it was natural for them to do this after eating.

Kazuya arched an eyebrow, with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re crazy?” He asked and stated in the same time.

Jin clicked his tongue. “Like you didn’t already know that.” He said with a scoff in his voice.

The younger stuck his tongue and stretched a little. “I prefer to sleep after this junk food. It will make my stomach feel better.” He said and stood up. “After all, you were the one that woke me up at four in the morning and kidnapped me wearing only pajamas.” He added and waved his hand a little. “So… bye bye!” Kazuya smiled cutely.

“But you’ll also get fat if you sleep after all that junk food.” Jin stated with a pout, lifting his hand and catching Kazuya’s while looking at him with puppy eyes from below, half of his body stretched on the table.

Kazuya smirked. “That is not your concern, it’s not like you’re the one holding me through the night.” He shrugged, totally unaffected by the other’s puppy eyes. “And I’m not getting fat as you are.”

Jin rolled his eyes in annoyance. He should have seen this coming and should have known that Kazuya wouldn’t accept anything that he said so easily. Okay then, Jin just needed to change his tactics. “Then I’m going outside for a while.” He said as he also stood up, looking like he wanted to go take his coat. He seemed to change his mind in the last moment and grabbed Kazuya all of a sudden, lifting him on his shoulder exactly like he had done that morning and dashed to the door.

Kazuya yelled and started to hit Jin on his back, flapping his legs and trying to get down, but the older was already expecting this so he just tightened his hold on the younger, getting him outside and throwing him in the snow, smiling satisfied to himself after that. Maybe some chill air would make Kazuya stop being so stuck up on his own ideas.

“Are you fucking stupid?!” Kazuya yelled, feeling the snow seeping under his clothes and soaking his socks. “I’m not wearing almost anything! What if I get a cold?!” He scolded Jin as he tried to get up, but slipping on the soft snow and grabbing onto Jin, pulling him in the snow too. He groaned displeased and as soon as he recovered, he went and pushed Jin’s face in the snow. “IDIOT!”

The actor struggled a bit until he managed to get free, laughing after while getting the snow out of his hair. “But I’m such a lovely idiot, ain’t I?” he said with a wide grin and took some snow in his hand, throwing it towards Kazuya.

The younger passed a hand over his face to clean it from snow. He glared at the happy looking Jin and with a low growl, he lounged towards him, climbing on top of him and starting to gather snow from their sides to bury him under the white mass. “Are you still laughing now?!” Kazuya said and there was laughter in his voice too.

“Of course.” Jin said as he caught Kazuya’s hands and rolled them over, now him being the one to sit on top. “I’ll always laugh when I see you at my mercy.” He said with a mean tone as he brought both of Kazuya’s hands into one of his and used the other one to take some snow and brush his face with it, still laughing maliciously until he got his fingers bitten. “You’re not playing fair!” he complained and whined like a child, stopping suddenly when an idea popped into his head. With an evil smirk, he took some more snow and promptly sneaked it under Kazuya’s shirt.

Kazuya began to scream and writhe under Jin, the cold snow prickling his skin, not to mention that there were Jin’s fingers that were touching him, making the younger unable to think normally. He managed to free his hands and did the same thing as Jin - grabbed some snow and slid it under the older one’s clothes. Too bad that Kazuya had bad coordination and it got inside of Jin’s pants rather than his shirt.

Jin yelped and let go of Kazuya as he stood up in a fraction of a second, looking shocked and in deep pain. He started to run in circles, desperately moving his legs and shaking his pants to try and get out the cold snow from his crotch. Oh, fuck.

“Kazuyaaaaa!” he complained loudly, but not stopping even one moment to look at the one who’s name he had called. “Kazuuuu!!!” he repeated and moved some more, feeling his whole body going cold.

Kazuya was laughing, holding his waist and looking at the frantic moving Jin. He hadn’t realized at first what happened, but he did now. And it was so damn funny. His ass was cold and soaked from the snow but he didn’t move from that spot, still laughing at the actor. “Now you’re freshened up, no?” he said through fits of laughter, now his eyes teary.

Jin continued to wail and run around in circles, cursing and seeming to ignore everything around him. He stopped suddenly and looked at Kazuya, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “It’s not funny!” he said with a pout. “What would you say if I did the same to you?” he then added and seemed to be decided to do exactly that, but as he took the first step towards Kazuya, the coldness was back and more merciless than ever.

Jin started to run again.

Kazuya wanted to reply something to Jin, but seeing him once again running, he burst into laughs once more. “It seems quite impossible to do it right now.” He said and stood up, shaking off the snow from his clothes. “Better take those clothes down and go inside the house.” He added with a cackle and headed towards the house.

“Kazuuuuu!!” Jin whined again as he dashed to the house and entered it before Kazuya, already getting rid of his clothes on the way to the upstairs’ bathroom, seeing as the one from downstairs didn’t have a shower. He was already half naked as he ran up the stairs and his teeth were still clattering from the cold, Jin not stopping even for a moment to yell the younger’s name. “Kazuuuuu!!”

Kazuya entered the house just in time to hear his name being called, making him once more laugh. He took the clothes Jin had thrown on the stairs and while still laughing, he followed the older to the bathroom. The door was ajar and Kazuya leaned on the door frame, amused by the sight Jin was offering. “Would you like me to help you with that?” he asked jokingly, still holding the actor’s discarded clothes.

Jin frowned as he suddenly stopped from his attempt to get warm, looking from the middle of the bathtub at Kazuya and standing only in his boxers with the shower head spreading hot water on them. “It’s your fault!” he complained and with an evil smirk on his lips, he turned the shower head at Kazuya.

The younger yelped at the sudden contact between his skin and the hot water, dropping all the clothes. Now dripping wet, he put his palms in front, to stop the water from blurring his vision. “Stop it!” he squealed, but some water entered into his mouth. “Fuck, stop it!!” he moved forward, keeping his face away from the pouring water and his hands in front so that he would be able to get to Jin and stop him. Then suddenly, the jet of water stopped flowing at him and as a loud clank was heard, the younger turned his head and looked at Jin with a glare. “You’re stupid, you know that, right?” He hissed and looked down at his wet clothes. With angry moves, he began to undress.

Jin opened his mouth to answer but when he saw what was Kazuya doing, he closed it. Then he opened it again and gulped, his eyes fixed on the boy’s moves, watching him as he was slowly but firmly getting rid of each piece of clothing. And Jin was the stupid one from the two of them?! “Do you want to take a bath with me or what?” he asked with what he wanted to be a light tone, but instead it sounded more choked and hopeful.

Kazuya’s hands stopped on his boxers, now this being the only thing covering him. He looked at Jin with narrowing eyes and an evil smile on his lips. “Do you want me to?” he asked, the tease in his voice obvious.

“I’d want you to do a lot of things.” Jin stated with an innocent smile and a perverted voice, his eyes now clearly staring at the younger’s crotch which was still hidden by the boxers. He lifted again the shower head towards Kazuya and then let it down quickly, laughing and feeling good.

The younger looked for a moment like an angry wet cat before an evil smirk came across his face. His eyes had a dangerous glint as he approached the bath tube where Jin was, the water sprayed on him now sliding down on his body and making it look like he had been just coming out of a hot and nice sex session. Kazuya stopped in front of Jin, then bent a little, slipping his hand through the older one’s dark and wet locks, gripping them slightly. He leaned closer to him, until he was an inch away from Jin’s lips. “You want me to kiss you again?” The younger asked with a teasing voice, his breath tickling the other’s mouth. His eyes were locked with Jin’s and you could see the playful spark in them. He pulled gently on Jin’s hair, making him bend his head backwards as his lips slowly traced a kissing line on his jaw and up to his ear. They were making soft sounds each time they touched Jin’s skin. “You want me to lick you?” Kazuya asked with a husky voice and his tongue darted out and gave a quick and teasing roll over Jin’s ear lob. Then it slid down on the neck, flicking over the burning skin. “Or do you want me to bite you?” He said with a whisper though it had been clearly heard in the silent bathroom. And just as he uttered the words, his teeth seeped into Jin’s shoulder, grazing it gently at first then putting more strength until the skin reddened a bit, leaving a cute mark on Jin. “Tell me…” Kazuya’s tongue went upwards Jin’s neck until it reached the older one’s chin and their lips were once more an inch apart and their eyes locked. “Is this what you want from me?” He asked and the grip on Jin’s hair tightened a bit more.

The older moaned and bit back a moan as he struggled to keep on being focused and not let himself fall into the sweet temptation that those lips and hands of Kazuya’s were giving him. He knew that the boy was just playing and probably will flee as soon as Jin said or did something - anything - but even if it was masochistic of him to enjoy that blissful torture, the actor couldn’t help to close his eyes and to whine silently every time Kazuya’s grip on his hair would become a little harder. “And if I say what I want you to do…” he said, keeping his eyes on the younger’s and enjoying the spark he was seeing in them, a spark that probably even Kazuya wasn’t aware of, “would you do it?” he asked with a smug face and a daring smirk, curious to know how far would Kazuya go if he was challenged. After all, Jin remembered him to be quite daring even when he was against having a relationship with a man.

Kazuya smirked and brought his other hand to touch briefly Jin’s cheek, tracing a thin line with his nail. “Tell me and I’ll see about it.” He chuckled and bit on Jin’s chin.

The older chuckled back, having been expecting this kind of answer from Kazuya. “But if I tell you, you’ll just tease me more and not give me what I want.” He now pouted, looking at the younger with puppy eyes to show how deeply hurt he’d be by such an ending between the two of them. After all, Kazuya had become kind of famous in Jin’s list of people who had left him with a hard-on.

Kazuya’s eyes darkened and for a moment, his grip tightened on Jin’s hair. “I know exactly what you want from me.” He said with a harsh tone. “After all, this is all what you want.” He continued and let go of Jin’s hair, his expression a bit sour now as he looked at the older. “Once is enough.” Kazuya added through gritted teeth and as his hand pulled away, his nails scratched Jin’s shoulder on purpose.

Jin yelped at the sudden unexpected action of Kazuya’s and growled after, seeing that things were already turning bad. “Like my mind doesn’t want anything else but sex.” He snorted, annoyed by the younger’s assumptions, and then grabbed his hand to pull him a little closer and prevent him from leaving. “Really now!” Jin continued with an exasperated tone. “Do you really think that the only thing that I wanted then and I want now is to fuck you?” he asked calmly even if his voice was a little raised.

Kazuya’s expression answered Jin’s question even if the younger didn’t say it out loud. “Can you deny then that you didn’t want this all along?” He hissed and his fists clenched. He had been aware of Jin’s desire towards him since three years ago and he had been lustful over him in the same time, but now… now he was different and he only wanted to show Jin how wrong he was and how correct Kazuya was. After all, between them was just pure lust like the younger had said from the start.

“Of course I want you, Kazuya.” Jin admitted, his voice raised and his grip on the younger’s arm tightening a little as he brought his other hand to catch Kazuya’s, entwining them gently. “I would be crazy not to want you.” He confessed, this time on a small voice, his eyes expressing the deep desire he was yielding for Kazuya. “But why can’t you believe that this isn’t the only thing I want from you?” he continued, now sounding hurt and like he was pleading Kazuya to trust him like he had also done three years ago.

Kazuya’s body went stiff and his expression suddenly shut down. “Let me go.” He said on an impassive voice. “I’m cold and I want to dress up.” He added, seeing that Jin had no intention to let him go for the moment. But really, how did the older expect him to believe such words when everything that happened up till now had been because of his precise fault?! Jin was amazing him as ever, too bad that it wasn’t in a pleasant way.

“You’re not fair.” Jin said as he let go of Kazuya’s hand, his tone slightly accusing and pained. “You keep saying whatever you want but you don’t give me a chance to explain myself.” He added disappointedly, putting a short distance between them, as much as he could while still being in the bath tube.

Surprised once more of the sudden obedience of Jin’s, Kazuya didn’t let himself be swayed by his actions or words. “Why? So that you could lie and say that I’m in the wrong?” He attacked back, snorting and rolling his eyes ironically. “I won’t listen to a liar’s words after believing them for two months and a half.” He replied and turned on his heels, feeling that he had said too much. And Jin didn’t deserve to hear his reasons for leaving.

“Or you’re too afraid to hear the truth.” Jin said before he had time to think about what he was saying, not really sure that it was wise to claim such a thing now in front of Kazuya.

But at least, it had the effect of stopping Kazuya in his tracks and turning him once more towards Jin. The bad part was that the expression on the younger’s face was livid, only his eyes being the ones burning brightly and furiously. “Truth?! From you?!” He exclaimed and without thinking, he went to Jin, stepping in the bath tube and pinning the older to the cold wall behind him. “The only truth I got from you was that you wanted me in your bed!” He snarled, his fingers digging into Jin’s shoulder and their bodies pressed together in an angry clash.

And Kazuya’s outburst managed to get Jin angry as well. His eyes flickered with fury and madness as he caught Kazuya’s hands and turned them around, now Jin being the one pinning Kazuya to the wall. “Why are you so damn stubborn to think that this was the only thing I wanted from you?!” he asked, the annoyance obvious in his voice. “Because sorry to break your daydream, but you’re not that special to make me chase after you for four months if sex was the only thing I wanted from you! I could have fucked anyone I wanted to if I was too horny. But I chose you, Kazuya.” He said, his tone slightly losing its intensity as he uttered the last words with a defeated and resigned voice.

“Then you should have chosen someone else!” Kazuya choked on his words, the angry sob escaping from his lips. “I’ve had enough with you! Your actions, your words and your song for me! I don’t want to know anything from this!” The younger shouted, looking fiercely back at Jin, letting all the pain he felt for the first time to be seen by the older one. “I didn’t want from the beginning…” He let his head down, all of a sudden feeling exhausted.

“But you ended up wanting and loving me.” Jin stated, his voice seeming a little cold as his grip on the younger’s hands lessened even more. “I also didn’t want to fall in love with you but I did and now we’re at the beginning when you didn’t even believe me when I said that I love you.” He continued and now his eyes looked sad and hurt, overwhelmed with the feeling of uselessness that he was having. “My heart chose you and you should know better than anyone that you can’t control it.” He added as he distanced himself from Kazuya and got out of the bathtub, still looking at the boy with a disappointed expression. He sighed and turned his eyes from Kazuya, going to a closet and taking out two towels, keeping one for him and giving the other one to the younger without a word, just staring at him with an expressionless face.

Kazuya looked at Jin, chewing on his lower lip before hesitantly taking the towel. “Then… wouldn’t it be better if we walk our separate ways?” He whispered the words, part of him wanting Jin to hear them and another part not. This way, they were only going to hurt and in the end… nothing will be left, not even beautiful memories to look back on.

“I spent three years without you, Kazuya,” Jin sighed, a small smile curling up his lips even if it looked more painful than cheerful, “and I’m still madly in love with you.” He confessed, now his eyes searching for Kazuya’s and his smile widening a little as they found it. “Time won’t make a difference for me.” He then added and put the towel around his body, proceeding to dry himself up.

Kazuya stifled a sob and wrapped himself in the towel too, then he climbed off from the bath tube, slowly walking towards Jin. He looked at the older for a few seconds who stopped from what he was doing and looked back at Kazuya with a curious and inquiring gaze. The younger sighed and lowered his head. “I slept with Ryo.” He said with a small voice and then turned away from Jin and towards the door. No matter how much one would love, a betrayal was still a betrayal. Especially if physical.

Jin stiffened at the sudden confession, his eyes widened and his heart beating fast and hurting more than ever. This had been the last thing he expected Kazuya to say in such a situation and even if he had thought that this might have happened between them, Jin had still kept the hope that it wasn’t true and that Kazuya wouldn’t do such a thing. The younger still loved him and he couldn’t sleep with someone else, not even to mention with another guy!! But… it seemed that he had been wrong. And now the only thing he could do was to watch Kazuya’s back as he slowly drifted away from him.

He fell on the floor when he heard the door of his bedroom closing behind Kazuya, still staring helplessly at the spot where the younger had been standing just a few seconds ago. Somehow, it still seemed like a bad joke, like all of this stupid situation, and Jin had been hoping until now that he would wake up one morning and realize that everything had been a dream - a nightmare - and that Kazuya was still smiling and being happy in his arms.

And it annoyed him. It pissed him off that Kazuya was doing everything he could to make sure that Jin won’t follow him anymore, that the older would give up and stop chasing Kazuya’s love like this would solve all of their problems. It won’t and Kazuya should know better than to even try to do this. He should know that Jin won’t change his mind so easily. Even if, the actor had to admit, that this had been a hit below the belt.

He sighed and chuckled bitterly. He was more furious to know that his feelings for Kazuya hadn’t changed a bit and that he wasn’t accusing the younger as much as he did with Ryo. Because Kazuya was hurt and Jin was sure that the younger believed something had happened and that was why he did all those things. But Ryo… Ryo should know better than this. He was his best friend and, at least, Jin wanted to believe that he could trust him with his life but instead he had slept with his lover.

Maybe life was indeed a bitch.

PART III