I'm wrong; you're wrong; we're all wrong together.

[aroraborealis]

Most people seem to have relationships in their past that they can look at and say, if not, "Wow, that's my crazy ex, all right!" at least, "Huh. That relationship damaged me in some ways, and here's how," or "There was a lot of good in that relationship, but some bad, too, and I still have some of it with me." Of course, no relationship is perfect

Comments

[drwex]

Once is chance, twice is synchronicity. Three times is enemy action *grin*

As to the original question: I get perspective from other people. I'm incapable of distancing myself from my own body and mind and experiences enough to have what I would think of as 'another perspective'. All my views are mine, if that makes any sense. I'm a believer in living an examined life, insofar as I can.

So to get real perspective I need another person, who knows me, whom I trust, and who can share some kind of insight. As someone suggested that might be a professional counselor. For a couple years I had a friend/lover whom I referred to as "my sense of perspective."

The question of what to do with perspective is very situational. I've had perspectives these past few years I just couldn't do anything with - I don't know how to integrate them with my daily perceptions and actions. Those I save and bring out often to see if I'm able to make any more progress on them.

And finally, for me, progress does require change. I see you say that you don't want to put yourself in the position of always needing to change - I take this as a healthy sign that you're basically happy with who you are. For myself, I'm less sure. I don't like fast or arbitrary change, but I feel like change is necessary for growth and I'm not always that happy with who I am.