also I like chaos
The other important-to-me discovery/realization of the last month: I really thrive in chaos. I feel more lit-up and engaged since the sudden increase in the pace, scope, and level of surprise of changes around the office than I have since my first three months in my first role at the company. It can't stay this way, and it wouldn't be healthy if it did, but WOW, I think that would work for me.