selfish..
words cannot describe how hurt i feel. i cant take it anymore. the past 6 months have been hell and ive stuck by with her basically spitting in my face at every turn. and now im the one being unreasonable. fuck me she says. shes not going to put up with any shit? what shit? How about every person she is even remotely friends with thinking that shes too good for me or thinking im an asshole. how about her mom telling her not to spend any time with me or even talk to me and threatening everything if she does and her not even making an effort to act like she cares. like it affects her. she just rolls with it. how about her telling me one second that she doesnt even know if she CAN be with me, then telling me the next that she loves me and cares so much about me. how about having to wait for her for 8 months when i dont know if ill even be able to talk to her then. does she care? no instead its "you should feel lucky just to talk to me online, alex." hey lets go to cincy and have some fun! -o hi dave how are you -o youre back in springfield? you should call me and we can hang out. *its as if she is looking me in the face, saying what can i do with a short little smile, turning around and hanging out with all her friends and leaving me behind.* and ive tried to understand every time, ive tried to be ok with it all and just deal with it. tonight cinched it. fuck me.. i dont know what else to say but im done. ive done nothing wrong, and ive tried to help her and support her at every turn. and i dont feel like i deserve this.