confusion shmusion..
im not confused. i dont think so anyway...i know what i like and what i dont through many years of trial and error. including this past one. ....especially this past one..but thats not what gets me. not confusion. its not knowing. not knowing what is going to happen. not knowing how she feels. granted she doesnt even know that herself but i guess im just afraid of talking to her about all of this because i dont want to push her into thinking something. into being with me. the woman that i end up with has got to want to be with me for me. i dont want to have to convince her that she should be with me. and i dont want that person being with me dependant upon whether im a certain way or not. i am finally myself once again-better even, simply because ive grown the fuck up. and im not going to be taken for granted and im not going to be walked all over. and im going to continue to be me no matter what life throws at me-i learned that lesson 10 fold. and whether im me or some asshole is not going to be dependant upon whether shes in my life. I am going to continue to live my life day to day and im going to get where i want to be day by day with or without her. now, having said that, there are millions of things left to experience in this world...countless places to see, countless things to smell and taste-good and bad...and i would rather spend those times and reminisce about those times with no other person in the world. i understand her confusion...sheesh i understand..but at the same time i cant keep on hoping for something if its not going to work out that way. I have to move on - with or without her.