(no subject)
reading through my archives on this journal is so bizarre. i feel like i'm reading the journal of someone else. even in reading the entries from last year...
i used to be so dependent on this. and very melodramatic. well, i'm still melodramatic. just not in an online journal.
i worry that one day livejournal.com will go under and i will lose access to all my silly little girl posts. i like to read old entries because they all reflect pieces of my life that to me, at one point, were somewhat important. regardless of whether or not they're important now, it's just interesting.
its also strange how much networking went on on lj. EVERYONE used to be on this thing. now i'd be surprised if 10 people read this. i used to have so many friends in high school that i only made because of livejournal. weird. it's like its own little world. or was, i suppose.
i recently agreed to let someone very close to me read my entire livejournal (starting way back when...) and part of me is scared about it. i dont understand why i'm scared, considering i let about 200 people read it at one time, but to me it still seems slightly personal. like, there are things that i may have written a year ago that i read and feel like an idiot for writing. so i am tempted to go back to those questionable entries and change them before i let him read them. that is, however, kind of messed up. so i'm not going to change it. and i figure that whatever i wrote, i meant-- in some way, at some time. i may not agree with it now, but whatever. it's kind of funny, kind of lame, and kind of interesting.
i'll be the first to admit that i'll probably have a livejournal forever. as long as the site stays up, at least. because i couldn't imagine deleting 5 years of my life experiences-- as trivial as they may be. i get to see how fucked up i was, what a nerd i was, former crushes, and former friends. reading through everything makes me remember specific events that i would otherwise never think of in a million years. it also makes me realize what a selfish angst-ridden teenager i was. it provides a little self-reflection, if you will. there were some incredibly vain moments- posting pictures i took of myself in my room (after carefully applying makeup of course) and wanting so badly for affirmation that i was not hideous. don't laugh. you did it too. and if you didn't, you wanted to. strange that no one found anything wrong with that. we were what..14? who wants to see pictures of a mopey 14 year old in their bedroom? or of a 16 year old girl sitting in her bathtub, fully clothed?
it seems that myspace has somewhat replaced livejournal. the e-world has moved on to bigger and better things. more pictures!!!! yay!! (i have a myspace too. yes, terrible...) there are so many young kids doing exactly what we were doing here. and its funny to see.
i'm quickly losing direction of this post. but bottomline is, the internet is probably the single most fascinatingly bizarre thing. so much happens there. i feel like people live completely different lives on the internet than they do in real life. but that is the nature of the beast. a little bit of anonymity opens up doors to so many options.
here is my suggestion of the day: if you've had your journal for over 2 years, you should go back and read some of your old entries. it'll weird you out and most likely entertain you.
have a great day,
brittanie
i used to be so dependent on this. and very melodramatic. well, i'm still melodramatic. just not in an online journal.
i worry that one day livejournal.com will go under and i will lose access to all my silly little girl posts. i like to read old entries because they all reflect pieces of my life that to me, at one point, were somewhat important. regardless of whether or not they're important now, it's just interesting.
its also strange how much networking went on on lj. EVERYONE used to be on this thing. now i'd be surprised if 10 people read this. i used to have so many friends in high school that i only made because of livejournal. weird. it's like its own little world. or was, i suppose.
i recently agreed to let someone very close to me read my entire livejournal (starting way back when...) and part of me is scared about it. i dont understand why i'm scared, considering i let about 200 people read it at one time, but to me it still seems slightly personal. like, there are things that i may have written a year ago that i read and feel like an idiot for writing. so i am tempted to go back to those questionable entries and change them before i let him read them. that is, however, kind of messed up. so i'm not going to change it. and i figure that whatever i wrote, i meant-- in some way, at some time. i may not agree with it now, but whatever. it's kind of funny, kind of lame, and kind of interesting.
i'll be the first to admit that i'll probably have a livejournal forever. as long as the site stays up, at least. because i couldn't imagine deleting 5 years of my life experiences-- as trivial as they may be. i get to see how fucked up i was, what a nerd i was, former crushes, and former friends. reading through everything makes me remember specific events that i would otherwise never think of in a million years. it also makes me realize what a selfish angst-ridden teenager i was. it provides a little self-reflection, if you will. there were some incredibly vain moments- posting pictures i took of myself in my room (after carefully applying makeup of course) and wanting so badly for affirmation that i was not hideous. don't laugh. you did it too. and if you didn't, you wanted to. strange that no one found anything wrong with that. we were what..14? who wants to see pictures of a mopey 14 year old in their bedroom? or of a 16 year old girl sitting in her bathtub, fully clothed?
it seems that myspace has somewhat replaced livejournal. the e-world has moved on to bigger and better things. more pictures!!!! yay!! (i have a myspace too. yes, terrible...) there are so many young kids doing exactly what we were doing here. and its funny to see.
i'm quickly losing direction of this post. but bottomline is, the internet is probably the single most fascinatingly bizarre thing. so much happens there. i feel like people live completely different lives on the internet than they do in real life. but that is the nature of the beast. a little bit of anonymity opens up doors to so many options.
here is my suggestion of the day: if you've had your journal for over 2 years, you should go back and read some of your old entries. it'll weird you out and most likely entertain you.
have a great day,
brittanie