(Untitled)

[armywithcountry]

[Hi there, Mayfield, are you tired of seeing babies everywhere yet?  No?  Good.  Because you're currently being stalked by one.  Doesn't matter where you are, there is now a filthy, smelly, screaming ten year old dropping down on your head from a nearby tree/roof/car and trying to smack you with a sword.  Strange, those red eyes, white hair, and

Comments

[prodigious_mage]

NOOO! SHUT UP.

[willconvertyou]

[SCREAMING.]

DO IT, PAGAN! CONVERT! CONVERT!

[prodigious_mage]

NEVER! I'LL NEVER BUY YOUR CANDY NO MATTER HOW DELICIOUS IT LOOKS. IT'S BUTTERFINGERS FOR ME!

[willconvertyou]

What the hell are you talking about?! Who's got butter?! Give me it! And convert!

[prodigious_mage]

You'll never get me to give up my candy!

. . . Not unless you tempt me with free samples, anyway.

[willconvertyou]

What's candy? What are you even talking about? Just convert already!

[prodigious_mage]

What are you talking about? You're not after my candy? What's a pagan and what's convertin'?

[willconvertyou]

A pagan's someone who doesn't believe in God and goes after the faithful and tries to wash the Jesus away from people! They're really terrible! So you should convert if you're one!

[prodigious_mage]

What the heck is the Jesus? And I don't believe in any dumb gods; that's for white mages.

[willconvertyou]

YOU DON'T KNOW WHO JESUS IS?!

[Pause for moment of shock to pass.]

Um, um. Jesus was a really great guy! The best! He came down here and healed people and died for our sins so we could go to heaven! And you're not supposed to believe in gods, only pagans do that. You're just supposed to believe in the God!

[prodigious_mage]

My sis does that stuff, too, and we turned ourselves to stone to save the world. And we were only five. Your Jesus can't beat that.

And everyone knows there's at least five.

[willconvertyou]

Now you're just making stuff up! That's sacrilege! God is going to strike you down for that if I don't do it first!

And no there's not, that's what pagans think! There's only one, stupid!

[prodigious_mage]

Yeah, sure. Tell your dumb god to do that, then. I bet you'll be waiting a while.

And that's what stupid people think.

[willconvertyou]

He's not dumb, and I will and he'll do it because he loves me and so does the Pope! I'll do it right now! Dear God, please strike down this heretic to prove Your good name, amen!

[Waiting . . .]

[prodigious_mage]

[Dum de dum dum dum. After about a half minute of this, Palom smirks and begins to whistle innocently.

About two seconds later, lightning strikes about a half-inch away from the Teutonic Order.]

Gosh, I guess my gods like me better.