THE AWESOME SHOWDOWN OF DESTINY AND AWESOMENESS

[armywithcountry]

[Prussia's has been looking forward to punching Russia in the goddamn face for a long time now.  So this tournament?  Best thing ever.  He's down at the football stadium, since he works there anyway, waiting for Russia to show up.

He totally hasn't read the part about not being allowed to kill your opponents, by the way.]

Comments

[kol_shevik]

[ DO YOU HEAR THAT RUMBLING NOISE?

AND THAT CRASHING?

yeah that's a motherfucking tank coming rolling in through the stadium gates

I hope you didn't like those. ]

[armywithcountry]

[HE DIDN'T, ACTUALLY. Not that he noticed, since goddamn what the fuck why is there a tank here. Is he - is he actually supposed to fight against that not as planned]

Wait, that's allowed? No fair, I want one of those!

[kol_shevik]

[ It rolls to a stop right in front of Prussia, and Russia pops out of the hatch - vodka already in one hand. ]

You have already prepared self for defeat, comrade?

[armywithcountry]

Hah! You can't beat me even with that cannoncar! I'm surprised it can move at all with your fatass sitting in it! [Beat.] And toss me down one of those bottles, I ran out of beer waiting for you to get here.

[kol_shevik]

[Russia kindly responds by tossing the vodka bottle in his hand as hard as he can at Prussia's head.

HE TAKES VICTORY VERY SERIOUSLY.]

[armywithcountry]

[Catches the bottle - Prussia's hand is automatically magnetically attracted to anything with alcohol in it. He wipes the mouth, because ew, Russia cooties, then takes a swig before tossing it aside.]

Right, let's do this.

[kol_shevik]

окей, окей! Will leave enough tiny bits to put in box so little Austria may keep them in an urn over his fireplace!

[SLAMS THE HATCH CLOSED.]

[armywithcountry]

Like hell you will! And ew, don't mention that weakling's name during a fight, it's probably contagious!

[IS SO INCENSED BY THE THOUGHT OF AUSTRIA that he loses the little common sense he has left, runs to the tank, and punches it.

It's not very effective . . . although with his regained country strength, it does leave a nice little dent.]

[kol_shevik]

[OH YOU DID NOT JUST DENT THE BEAUTIFUL TANK

RUSSIA PRACTICALLY LAUNCHES HIMSELF OUT OF IT AT PRUSSIA TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE FAT ATTACK!!]

[armywithcountry]

[OH GOOD HIS INCREDIBLY CUNNING AND WELL THOUGHT OUT STRATEGY TO GET RUSSIA OUT OF THE TANK THAT HE TOTALLY PLANNED OUT AHEAD OF TIME WORKED -- AND JESUS CHRIST IT'S A FLYING WHALE GET IN THE TANK

or just, y'know, try to punch Russia in the face back all his dreams are coming true. Man, for a fat kid, Russia hits pretty hard.]

[kol_shevik]

[JUST GOING TO KEEP GOING THROUGH THE PUNCHES AND TRYING TO GRAB PRUSSIA BY THE NECK because he is Russia and even his face is protected by a layer of fattyfatfat.]

[armywithcountry]

[Seriously Russia why are you so fat punching him is like punching that goddamn tank, only there aren't even any dents to show for his effort -- wait.

Wait.

Russia's not in his tank, which means . . .

PUSHES RUSSIA AWAY FROM HIM AND SCRAMBLES FOR THE TANK he is willing to forfeit this match if it means having a cannoncar of his very own]

[kol_shevik]

Do not touch her!

[BODILY GRABBING YOU.

GOOD LUCK CLIMBING ANYTHING WITH RUSSIA HANGING ONTO YOU.]

[armywithcountry]

Let go! She likes me more than you, anyway!

[HUFF HUFF IS GRABBED. Trying to slowly . . . drag himself . . . towards the tank . . . yeah, okay, this isn't working. DRAWING HIS SWORD NOW.]

[kol_shevik]

Loves Russia best!

[JUST CLINGING. GO ON. STAB HIM]

[armywithcountry]

No one loves you the best! Even your old Emperor liked me more than you!

[IF YOU SAY SO. TRYING TO STAB HIS SWORD INTO RUSSIA'S WRISTS TO MAKE HIM LET GO.]