So I think I figured out my problem.....
I think that I am seriously fucked up in the head...very seriously screwed up...I think that I very well may have a commitment problem due to the fact that (in my eyes) my mother abandoned me. I feel that it is useless o bother opening up to females because they will all eventually leave me...it doesn't matter if they actually leave or even if it is I who pushes them away. The fear is there. I don't know what to do.....