Idle hands
Apart from going to see X-Men: First Class, I really didn't accomplish much over the weekend, which I found myself mentally thrashing myself over. But as Kat pointed out, I've been doing this not infrequently lately. More and more I find myself finishing whole weeks with no sense of accomplishment and a grudge at my own ineffectiveness. Even though I went out to dinner and drinks with a group of people Friday night and went to the movie with _leareth, I chastized myself for my social isolation. I ran, I read, I gamed, but all I noticed was the two days that had slipped past.
So what does this? Is it social ineptitude, unable to fill my life with people like my roommate does not just naturally but out of necessity? Is it my laziness or lack of imagination keeping me from finding worthwhile pursuits or stagnating on my current ones?
Then it occured to me: I have no challenges. I have goals, but those are simply something I would like to explore rather than something rising before me to be overcome. I think my finger injury, picked up less than two months after I started climbing again and grounding me from exercise almost before I'd started, has again dropped me into a well of physical mediocrity. I can't put my body to the test, losing myself in effort and, when it finally quits, relax in exhausted satisfaction. I'm much more of a physical hobbiest than a mental one, and having to fall back on mental hobbies when anything I can think of has already been conquored is simply not enough.
So what does this? Is it social ineptitude, unable to fill my life with people like my roommate does not just naturally but out of necessity? Is it my laziness or lack of imagination keeping me from finding worthwhile pursuits or stagnating on my current ones?
Then it occured to me: I have no challenges. I have goals, but those are simply something I would like to explore rather than something rising before me to be overcome. I think my finger injury, picked up less than two months after I started climbing again and grounding me from exercise almost before I'd started, has again dropped me into a well of physical mediocrity. I can't put my body to the test, losing myself in effort and, when it finally quits, relax in exhausted satisfaction. I'm much more of a physical hobbiest than a mental one, and having to fall back on mental hobbies when anything I can think of has already been conquored is simply not enough.