Lost my voice hope i didnt break it
I draw in from the cigaret and watch the sun rise its menthol i dont smoke menthols hell i dont even smoke but then again ive done lots of things tonight i dont do anymore. This is the relapse the tip of the iceburg in the downword spiral my ever lasting search for rock bottom. ive spent the night amongst astranged lost and unrequited loves trying to express myself in worthless words left un uttered in dreams unrealized.htere is no hope here just the over played soundtrack of alcoholism and drug abuse and a cold empty bed, pornography and fantasy relationships. things that never happened play out in my mind as realities more vivid than any real life experiance red grey and gold across the horizon fireworks booming hours before echoing in the backround providing abackbeat to a life less than ordinary where angels dont dance and demons dont plot a man alone against the darkness against the sunrise looking into the dawn for hope for light and warmth barely able to support himselfg but wanting nothing more than to find someone else needing his support.
records on repeat skipping into the morning light drinks to love not known to life not lived smiles hidden from those they where meant for. empty rooms full of hearts overwhelemed with regrets and actions backed out of kisses left unstollen, feelings left hidden behind masks "im ok Things are just fine ill make it on my own." and no one knows how far from self destrution they are until they are staring at the edge of it and the view from here looks like its a long drop trying aviod the instututions and medications and no im not depressed but sometimes i feel crazy stories of black out provoketion of girls with pretty faces if I cant have them at least I can annoy them ruin theyre nights get the most total form of rejection possible auto destruct sequince engaged abandon ship abondon hope run for your lifes the whiskeys in the blood and the crows are circlling the memories are deleted the wolfs taken hold howling and ranting his hate for the world at large, untill sleep comes and i wake not knowing it happened with new enimies and friends astranged bruesed eyes and acheing bones.
ahollowness in my chest that never seams to fill itself in.sex drugs rock and roll it was supposed to be a cure all and lord knows it helps but its just not there anymore you buy a gram of happiness and sure it makes it allright for a few hours but when iots gone and the euphoria subsides the hollow feeling returns stronger more all consumeing than ever consuming more and more of my soul until all is hate and hate is all i know. i journey along the path of my life with a snear on my face for those that seam happy and an ache that dousnt go away A burning desire to ruin things for the happy people to interfear to disrupt disturb make then feel the misery I know it douse love company after all. and thats all im looking for realy a little company to share the misery with someone to stand on porches at 5 am strung out and drunk smokeing unnessasary cigarettes and watch the sunrise with contept for the comeing day.
IS this to much to ask someone to share the hate with
records on repeat skipping into the morning light drinks to love not known to life not lived smiles hidden from those they where meant for. empty rooms full of hearts overwhelemed with regrets and actions backed out of kisses left unstollen, feelings left hidden behind masks "im ok Things are just fine ill make it on my own." and no one knows how far from self destrution they are until they are staring at the edge of it and the view from here looks like its a long drop trying aviod the instututions and medications and no im not depressed but sometimes i feel crazy stories of black out provoketion of girls with pretty faces if I cant have them at least I can annoy them ruin theyre nights get the most total form of rejection possible auto destruct sequince engaged abandon ship abondon hope run for your lifes the whiskeys in the blood and the crows are circlling the memories are deleted the wolfs taken hold howling and ranting his hate for the world at large, untill sleep comes and i wake not knowing it happened with new enimies and friends astranged bruesed eyes and acheing bones.
ahollowness in my chest that never seams to fill itself in.sex drugs rock and roll it was supposed to be a cure all and lord knows it helps but its just not there anymore you buy a gram of happiness and sure it makes it allright for a few hours but when iots gone and the euphoria subsides the hollow feeling returns stronger more all consumeing than ever consuming more and more of my soul until all is hate and hate is all i know. i journey along the path of my life with a snear on my face for those that seam happy and an ache that dousnt go away A burning desire to ruin things for the happy people to interfear to disrupt disturb make then feel the misery I know it douse love company after all. and thats all im looking for realy a little company to share the misery with someone to stand on porches at 5 am strung out and drunk smokeing unnessasary cigarettes and watch the sunrise with contept for the comeing day.
IS this to much to ask someone to share the hate with