2LT Emily Jazmin Tatum Perez is an acquaintance of mine...
... and I regret to say, we never crossed the line over to friendship.
2LT Emily Jazmin Tatum Perez and I were roommates for a semester (4 months), absolutely loathed each other during that time, became much nicer to each other after we stopped living together, and eventually had a few, short conversations every once in a blue moon when we ran into each other at the Firstie Club or in the hallways of our company area or between classes. To this day, I have no idea why she hated me so much... my reason for disliking her was because she didn't like me and was very obvious about it - in other words, I didn't like the way she talked to and treated me during those 4 months of sharing a room. We never really reconciled our differences, but I'd like to think that we're good with each other now, because we didn't avoid each other like the plague or throw daggers at each other with our eyes towards the end of our time at West Point.
I regret not taking the opportunities that arose (the few, short conversations we had once in a blue moon) to try to find out what I did to make her hate me and try to become friends. I saw the way she treated her friends - and to tell you the truth, I was jealous of her friends. She was very good to all of her friends. I was lucky to have good friends who I loved and who loved me back, but the reason why I was jealous of her friends was because.... well, in short, because she treated them so great. (I want to emphasize that I had friends who treated me great, too.) And even though I had awesome friends, too~ I was bothered by her... because most of the people who hate me... I know why they hate me. It's usually because of a misunderstanding that both parties are too stubborn to resolve, but with Emily~ I still don't know her reason. I'm finding it very hard to explain what I mean in this entry, but these thoughts are thoughts that have been on my mind for almost 2 weeks now.
Everything I'm saying in this blog entry is not to be taken in a negative manner. I'm just trying to let go of some of the thoughts that have been bothering me more than ever lately.
I was jealous of her, too... she was smart, soooo smart~ and not just book smart - she was witty, too. And she was athletic (I used to be, but am not anymore... and haven't been since high school).... and got super grades, so in love with Gospel Choir - I was in the Glee Club, and I loved it~~ but the thing with Gospel Choir was that she was so dedicated to Church. I always told myself I'd start going again... but I'm so damn lazy. And wow, could she sing~ I made the audition for and got accepted into Glee Club, but my voice is nothing compared to hers. AND~ she was a really good leader. Just one of those natural-born-to-be-a-leader kinda person. AAAANND~~ she always got the mission accomplished.... whatever she put her mind to, she got done~ not only that, she always did it well. All in all, when I think about it.... I guess the reasons why I never jumped on one of those opportunities to resolve our differences were because: One - I was envious about her abilities, Two - "if she doesn't try or want to, why should I?", and Three - "what if" she told me to shut up, get out of her face, etc. I mean, considering how horribly she treated me while we were living together.... it's hard not to be worried about getting shut down by her. Trying to reconcile wasn't a thing that was constantly on my mind, but during those "once in a blue moon" conversations, I considered it or thought about it, but those thoughts usually left my mind just as quickly as they came in. But now.... now, I regret it. Big time.
I heard from a friend of mine via a MySpace bulletin posting on the 14th that Emily Perez had passed away on or about 13 September from an IED. That night, I frantically tried to get a hold of any of my friends who are still WP cadets to ask if they had heard any announcements over the poop deck (where they make announcements, tell us we can sit and the meal begins, and when the meal is over). The two friends that I did get a hold of said there weren't any announcements, but rumor was going around that it was true. And then on 16 September, the DoD (department of defense) released that she died in Iraq on 12 September from injuries sustained by an IED (improvised explosive device) that went off near her HMMWV (high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle). That should have cemented my refusal to believe that it was true.... but it didn't. On 18 September, I got an email with a link to her eulogy page at WP-Org. I wrote and submitted the first eulogy on that page... and it still didn't really sink in. I posted on her MySpace page, a couple days later... or maybe it was the same day~ or just the day after~~ I'm not sure anymore. It wasn't until I saw her "myfuneral" website where it shared her life story, funeral date & time, and burial site date & time until it sunk in for real. Last Thursday, I sat at my desk and shed a few tears... On Friday, I went to her myfuneral site to post condolences to her family - but I couldn't. I broke down and cried like a baby... and never did get around to writing any sympathy notes to her family on the myfuneral guestbook.
I still get kind of weepy when I think about her not being on this earth anymore. Even though we were never friends, I guess it kind of hits home when someone you actually know dies in the war. And even though we weren't friends, we were connected... We were roomates, company mates, beast cadre together, classmates (2005), USMA graduates, and God's children. We were linked by a lot of different bonds. And I wish we had given each other a second chance to be friends... I know she's looking down from heaven now~ and if she's as great as all her friends' eulogies have been saying (I have no doubt that she probably is - we just didn't take advantage of the time we had), then I'm sure she's wiping our slate clean.
My message to Emily: I'm sad that you're gone and the we weren't friends while we had the chance to be... Thanks, Emily - for everything you've done for our country. You're in a better place now.... say "Hi" to God for me... and my Grandpa and Uncle, if you happen to run into them some time. My family and I are praying for you and your family during this incredibly difficult time.
R.I.P. Emily J.T. Perez (a.k.a. "Taz") - "Well done, Be thou at Peace..."
*****
Below is the "life story" on her myfuneral website that I mentioned earlier, and here's a link to a blog entry somebody wrote about her. It's pretty awesome.
Our Emily
Root: Feminine form of Aemilius
Origin: Latin
Meaning: “ambitious, industrial”
Majestic: one who leads passionately
Personality: someone who knows when to change
Genuine: a volunteer in many causes
Style: one whose counsel is widely sought
Ability: does her work competently
Character: always scratches beneath the surface
Sentiment: welcomes guests with open arms
Physical: moves full steam ahead
On February 19, 1983, a frosty Saturday morning in Heidelberg, Germany, Emily Jazmin Tatum finally decided (after deliberating for about 2 ½ days) to make her debut as the daughter of proud parents, Daniel and Vicki Perez.
We didn’t stay long at the hospital because she was rearing to break in her big brother Kevyn, affectionately known to her as Bubba. There was no mistaking that they were two inseparable peas in a pod with her as the apple of his eye. Everywhere that Bubba went Emily was sure to go.
It became very obvious at a very early age that Emily had a deep, abiding love for Christ that caused her to serve Him with a passion. In 1989, at the age of six, Emily decided that she wanted to be baptized although we as her parents thought it was too early. But after a private discussion with her godfather, Pastor Michael T. Bell, we were all baptized as a family. ‘Thank you God for that beautiful day.’ Emily’s first service to God started with Easter speeches. She loved the long speeches and would recite them proudly and loudly. In addition to her Easter debuts, Emily loved singing with the children’s and youth Choirs, ushering with the youth usher board, assisting with children’s church, and tutoring for the church tutoring program at Greater New Zion Baptist Church in Mannheim, Germany and Peace Baptist Church in Washington, D.C. In 2000 Emily focused her passion on the ministry of HIV/AIDS due to her love for Mr. Teddy, an extended family member. She met with her godfather to discuss the need for a HIV/AIDS ministry which resulted in the beginning of the Peace Baptist Church Shekinah Ministry. She also became an HIV/Aids peer educator with the Alexandria Red Cross Chapter and the Red Cross National Chapter. In 2001, she was honored by the Red Cross Board of Governors for her endeavors and contributions to the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
Emily’s academic career started shortly after staying at home with Ma for two years. She mustered up her little body to make a big impression on the teachers and administrators at Happy Child Christian Day Care in Killeen, TX in the fall of 1985. That’s where she began reading at the ripe old age of 3. From there we ventured back to the land of her birth where she began her academic endeavors. She became fluent in the German language at the age of four while attending the Evangelist kindergarten in Seckenheim, Germany. At the age of five, Emily was enrolled in the Mannheim Elementary School where in her second grade year she was identified and placed in the Talented and Gifted (TAG) program, thus beginning an aggressive and challenging academic career. In 1997 she became one of the youngest members of the Model United Nations (MUN) as a freshman at Heidelberg American High School which resulted in her travels to Russia and De Hague, Netherlands as a youth ambassador. During her freshman year, she was first chair clarinet in the Heidelberg Band, a member of the varsity track team where she took the silver in the 100 meter dash and the bronze as the first leg in the 4x1 relay at the 1997 European finals. In 1998, we decided it was time to return to the U.S. to get Emily acclimated to our school system. She was tested and enrolled in the Science and Technology program at Oxon Hill High School with her eventually graduating in the top five percent of her class in 2001. In the winter of 2000, Emily received the nomination of both Senator Mulkowski and Congressman Wynn to attend the United States Military Academy at West Point. Emily reported for duty with great pride and anticipation in July 2001. She soon distinguished herself as the academic Geek of the Week. At West Point, she was a very active member of the Gospel Choir, Officers of Christian Fellowship, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Student Taking Academic Responsibility and Succeeding (STARS), the Corps’ track team, and many more organizations. She proudly served in leadership roles that ranged from squad leader to eventually the Battalion Sergeant Major, Regiment Sergeant Major, Beast Sergeant Major, and finally the first African American Female to serve as the Corps Command Sergeant Major (CSM) for the 2005 school year. During her entire career at West Point Emily maintained a GPA that allowed her to wear the academic Star and Gold wreath. In May 2005, Emily graduated in the top 10% of her class. She was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army as a Medical Service Officer by LTG Bill Lennox.
Although in her short life of 23 years Emily’s accomplishments were many, she never wanted them highlighted or exposed. In her eyes, her greatest accomplishment was living every minute of her life serving, taking care of others, and loving it.
On September 12, 2006, Emily, affectionately known as Em, Emma, TiTi, Taz and Kobe, in full praise and in a twinkling of an eye, was swept up in the arms of her Holy Father to join her namesake and great grandmother, Emeline Garner, and her Daddy Bill.
She leaves to celebrate her life and to continue her zeal to serve, her loving parents, Daniel and Vicki, her Bubba, Kevyn and his wife, her big sister, Kim along with her very heartbeats, her nephews, Ke’Juan, Kyrahn, and Kaylen; her maternal grandmother, Rena Gunter; her paternal grandmother, Delia Torres; her uncles Hylan, Elmer, and Jimmy; her aunts Reesa, Judy, Lilly and Sonya; her honorary aunts Patricia (Netgirl), Carrie, and Pat; Madrina; her cousins Hylan Michael, Holly, Carmen, Anthony, Joshua, and Eric, along with the Village women in her life, Her girls (you know who you are) and a great host of family and friends.
The family (to include Peace Baptist Church, C Co, 204th Support Battalion and the United States Corp of Cadets) of Second Lieutenant Emily J. T. Perez, sincerely appreciates every act and thought of kindness in this hour of bereavement.
A foundation / scholarship fund for African-American and Hispanic women who share Emily’s passion for Sociology and Medical Services has been established in her honor.
We challenge each of you to honor and cherish the memory of Emily and to not only ‘talk the talk’ but ‘walk that talk’ for:
‘Eyes have not seen, nor ears have heard, nor have entered into the hearts of men what God has prepared for those who love Him.’
I Corinthians 2:9
‘Use what you’ve got, start where you are, and do what you can, knowing that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you.’
2LT Emily Jazmin Tatum Perez and I were roommates for a semester (4 months), absolutely loathed each other during that time, became much nicer to each other after we stopped living together, and eventually had a few, short conversations every once in a blue moon when we ran into each other at the Firstie Club or in the hallways of our company area or between classes. To this day, I have no idea why she hated me so much... my reason for disliking her was because she didn't like me and was very obvious about it - in other words, I didn't like the way she talked to and treated me during those 4 months of sharing a room. We never really reconciled our differences, but I'd like to think that we're good with each other now, because we didn't avoid each other like the plague or throw daggers at each other with our eyes towards the end of our time at West Point.
I regret not taking the opportunities that arose (the few, short conversations we had once in a blue moon) to try to find out what I did to make her hate me and try to become friends. I saw the way she treated her friends - and to tell you the truth, I was jealous of her friends. She was very good to all of her friends. I was lucky to have good friends who I loved and who loved me back, but the reason why I was jealous of her friends was because.... well, in short, because she treated them so great. (I want to emphasize that I had friends who treated me great, too.) And even though I had awesome friends, too~ I was bothered by her... because most of the people who hate me... I know why they hate me. It's usually because of a misunderstanding that both parties are too stubborn to resolve, but with Emily~ I still don't know her reason. I'm finding it very hard to explain what I mean in this entry, but these thoughts are thoughts that have been on my mind for almost 2 weeks now.
Everything I'm saying in this blog entry is not to be taken in a negative manner. I'm just trying to let go of some of the thoughts that have been bothering me more than ever lately.
I was jealous of her, too... she was smart, soooo smart~ and not just book smart - she was witty, too. And she was athletic (I used to be, but am not anymore... and haven't been since high school).... and got super grades, so in love with Gospel Choir - I was in the Glee Club, and I loved it~~ but the thing with Gospel Choir was that she was so dedicated to Church. I always told myself I'd start going again... but I'm so damn lazy. And wow, could she sing~ I made the audition for and got accepted into Glee Club, but my voice is nothing compared to hers. AND~ she was a really good leader. Just one of those natural-born-to-be-a-leader kinda person. AAAANND~~ she always got the mission accomplished.... whatever she put her mind to, she got done~ not only that, she always did it well. All in all, when I think about it.... I guess the reasons why I never jumped on one of those opportunities to resolve our differences were because: One - I was envious about her abilities, Two - "if she doesn't try or want to, why should I?", and Three - "what if" she told me to shut up, get out of her face, etc. I mean, considering how horribly she treated me while we were living together.... it's hard not to be worried about getting shut down by her. Trying to reconcile wasn't a thing that was constantly on my mind, but during those "once in a blue moon" conversations, I considered it or thought about it, but those thoughts usually left my mind just as quickly as they came in. But now.... now, I regret it. Big time.
I heard from a friend of mine via a MySpace bulletin posting on the 14th that Emily Perez had passed away on or about 13 September from an IED. That night, I frantically tried to get a hold of any of my friends who are still WP cadets to ask if they had heard any announcements over the poop deck (where they make announcements, tell us we can sit and the meal begins, and when the meal is over). The two friends that I did get a hold of said there weren't any announcements, but rumor was going around that it was true. And then on 16 September, the DoD (department of defense) released that she died in Iraq on 12 September from injuries sustained by an IED (improvised explosive device) that went off near her HMMWV (high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle). That should have cemented my refusal to believe that it was true.... but it didn't. On 18 September, I got an email with a link to her eulogy page at WP-Org. I wrote and submitted the first eulogy on that page... and it still didn't really sink in. I posted on her MySpace page, a couple days later... or maybe it was the same day~ or just the day after~~ I'm not sure anymore. It wasn't until I saw her "myfuneral" website where it shared her life story, funeral date & time, and burial site date & time until it sunk in for real. Last Thursday, I sat at my desk and shed a few tears... On Friday, I went to her myfuneral site to post condolences to her family - but I couldn't. I broke down and cried like a baby... and never did get around to writing any sympathy notes to her family on the myfuneral guestbook.
I still get kind of weepy when I think about her not being on this earth anymore. Even though we were never friends, I guess it kind of hits home when someone you actually know dies in the war. And even though we weren't friends, we were connected... We were roomates, company mates, beast cadre together, classmates (2005), USMA graduates, and God's children. We were linked by a lot of different bonds. And I wish we had given each other a second chance to be friends... I know she's looking down from heaven now~ and if she's as great as all her friends' eulogies have been saying (I have no doubt that she probably is - we just didn't take advantage of the time we had), then I'm sure she's wiping our slate clean.
My message to Emily: I'm sad that you're gone and the we weren't friends while we had the chance to be... Thanks, Emily - for everything you've done for our country. You're in a better place now.... say "Hi" to God for me... and my Grandpa and Uncle, if you happen to run into them some time. My family and I are praying for you and your family during this incredibly difficult time.
R.I.P. Emily J.T. Perez (a.k.a. "Taz") - "Well done, Be thou at Peace..."
*****
Below is the "life story" on her myfuneral website that I mentioned earlier, and here's a link to a blog entry somebody wrote about her. It's pretty awesome.
Our Emily
Root: Feminine form of Aemilius
Origin: Latin
Meaning: “ambitious, industrial”
Majestic: one who leads passionately
Personality: someone who knows when to change
Genuine: a volunteer in many causes
Style: one whose counsel is widely sought
Ability: does her work competently
Character: always scratches beneath the surface
Sentiment: welcomes guests with open arms
Physical: moves full steam ahead
On February 19, 1983, a frosty Saturday morning in Heidelberg, Germany, Emily Jazmin Tatum finally decided (after deliberating for about 2 ½ days) to make her debut as the daughter of proud parents, Daniel and Vicki Perez.
We didn’t stay long at the hospital because she was rearing to break in her big brother Kevyn, affectionately known to her as Bubba. There was no mistaking that they were two inseparable peas in a pod with her as the apple of his eye. Everywhere that Bubba went Emily was sure to go.
It became very obvious at a very early age that Emily had a deep, abiding love for Christ that caused her to serve Him with a passion. In 1989, at the age of six, Emily decided that she wanted to be baptized although we as her parents thought it was too early. But after a private discussion with her godfather, Pastor Michael T. Bell, we were all baptized as a family. ‘Thank you God for that beautiful day.’ Emily’s first service to God started with Easter speeches. She loved the long speeches and would recite them proudly and loudly. In addition to her Easter debuts, Emily loved singing with the children’s and youth Choirs, ushering with the youth usher board, assisting with children’s church, and tutoring for the church tutoring program at Greater New Zion Baptist Church in Mannheim, Germany and Peace Baptist Church in Washington, D.C. In 2000 Emily focused her passion on the ministry of HIV/AIDS due to her love for Mr. Teddy, an extended family member. She met with her godfather to discuss the need for a HIV/AIDS ministry which resulted in the beginning of the Peace Baptist Church Shekinah Ministry. She also became an HIV/Aids peer educator with the Alexandria Red Cross Chapter and the Red Cross National Chapter. In 2001, she was honored by the Red Cross Board of Governors for her endeavors and contributions to the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
Emily’s academic career started shortly after staying at home with Ma for two years. She mustered up her little body to make a big impression on the teachers and administrators at Happy Child Christian Day Care in Killeen, TX in the fall of 1985. That’s where she began reading at the ripe old age of 3. From there we ventured back to the land of her birth where she began her academic endeavors. She became fluent in the German language at the age of four while attending the Evangelist kindergarten in Seckenheim, Germany. At the age of five, Emily was enrolled in the Mannheim Elementary School where in her second grade year she was identified and placed in the Talented and Gifted (TAG) program, thus beginning an aggressive and challenging academic career. In 1997 she became one of the youngest members of the Model United Nations (MUN) as a freshman at Heidelberg American High School which resulted in her travels to Russia and De Hague, Netherlands as a youth ambassador. During her freshman year, she was first chair clarinet in the Heidelberg Band, a member of the varsity track team where she took the silver in the 100 meter dash and the bronze as the first leg in the 4x1 relay at the 1997 European finals. In 1998, we decided it was time to return to the U.S. to get Emily acclimated to our school system. She was tested and enrolled in the Science and Technology program at Oxon Hill High School with her eventually graduating in the top five percent of her class in 2001. In the winter of 2000, Emily received the nomination of both Senator Mulkowski and Congressman Wynn to attend the United States Military Academy at West Point. Emily reported for duty with great pride and anticipation in July 2001. She soon distinguished herself as the academic Geek of the Week. At West Point, she was a very active member of the Gospel Choir, Officers of Christian Fellowship, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Student Taking Academic Responsibility and Succeeding (STARS), the Corps’ track team, and many more organizations. She proudly served in leadership roles that ranged from squad leader to eventually the Battalion Sergeant Major, Regiment Sergeant Major, Beast Sergeant Major, and finally the first African American Female to serve as the Corps Command Sergeant Major (CSM) for the 2005 school year. During her entire career at West Point Emily maintained a GPA that allowed her to wear the academic Star and Gold wreath. In May 2005, Emily graduated in the top 10% of her class. She was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army as a Medical Service Officer by LTG Bill Lennox.
Although in her short life of 23 years Emily’s accomplishments were many, she never wanted them highlighted or exposed. In her eyes, her greatest accomplishment was living every minute of her life serving, taking care of others, and loving it.
On September 12, 2006, Emily, affectionately known as Em, Emma, TiTi, Taz and Kobe, in full praise and in a twinkling of an eye, was swept up in the arms of her Holy Father to join her namesake and great grandmother, Emeline Garner, and her Daddy Bill.
She leaves to celebrate her life and to continue her zeal to serve, her loving parents, Daniel and Vicki, her Bubba, Kevyn and his wife, her big sister, Kim along with her very heartbeats, her nephews, Ke’Juan, Kyrahn, and Kaylen; her maternal grandmother, Rena Gunter; her paternal grandmother, Delia Torres; her uncles Hylan, Elmer, and Jimmy; her aunts Reesa, Judy, Lilly and Sonya; her honorary aunts Patricia (Netgirl), Carrie, and Pat; Madrina; her cousins Hylan Michael, Holly, Carmen, Anthony, Joshua, and Eric, along with the Village women in her life, Her girls (you know who you are) and a great host of family and friends.
The family (to include Peace Baptist Church, C Co, 204th Support Battalion and the United States Corp of Cadets) of Second Lieutenant Emily J. T. Perez, sincerely appreciates every act and thought of kindness in this hour of bereavement.
A foundation / scholarship fund for African-American and Hispanic women who share Emily’s passion for Sociology and Medical Services has been established in her honor.
We challenge each of you to honor and cherish the memory of Emily and to not only ‘talk the talk’ but ‘walk that talk’ for:
‘Eyes have not seen, nor ears have heard, nor have entered into the hearts of men what God has prepared for those who love Him.’
I Corinthians 2:9
‘Use what you’ve got, start where you are, and do what you can, knowing that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you.’