(no subject)
havent posted on here in what.. a year?
anyways..
today has been too tumultuous and i feel overloaded and honestly just plain lonely. met a girl who i connected with in a way i havent in years, and it seemed mutual and i started to like her, only to find out she has a serious boyfriend. and whatever, ya know, thats fine, but the idea of getting into a real relationship started to materialize, and then to have it disappear sort of made me start thinking about how its been a long fucking time since ive had any kind of real relationship. and that is shitty. im really sick of being alone. the worst part of it is that im not desperate, far from it. sure i will make out with random girls, whatever. but im very picky when it comes to relationships, which is what makes it suck so bad about this girl. first person ive met in as long as i can remember that i could actually see myself with. so yeah. bummed out about that. a lot.
in other news however, i finally got my money situation in a better place, and i just found out heather is moving back to portland this weekend. which is amazing. i think i need her around. she is the one who keeps me from going crazy. i feel a little crazy at the moment.
in other news, if anyone is curious, i live in portland, work in a coffeeshop/stand, and life is generally good. today is just a shitty day among mostly good ones.
anyways..
today has been too tumultuous and i feel overloaded and honestly just plain lonely. met a girl who i connected with in a way i havent in years, and it seemed mutual and i started to like her, only to find out she has a serious boyfriend. and whatever, ya know, thats fine, but the idea of getting into a real relationship started to materialize, and then to have it disappear sort of made me start thinking about how its been a long fucking time since ive had any kind of real relationship. and that is shitty. im really sick of being alone. the worst part of it is that im not desperate, far from it. sure i will make out with random girls, whatever. but im very picky when it comes to relationships, which is what makes it suck so bad about this girl. first person ive met in as long as i can remember that i could actually see myself with. so yeah. bummed out about that. a lot.
in other news however, i finally got my money situation in a better place, and i just found out heather is moving back to portland this weekend. which is amazing. i think i need her around. she is the one who keeps me from going crazy. i feel a little crazy at the moment.
in other news, if anyone is curious, i live in portland, work in a coffeeshop/stand, and life is generally good. today is just a shitty day among mostly good ones.