Labels as Culture
I've said this in random spaces to friends and in some servers but I think maybe I'll put into words in a singular place here, and that is, the concept that labels can be Culture just as much as Identity, and the two things are very different.
This thought first came to me way back when I was reading Erica Moen's Dar Comic some time in the mid-2000's (it ran between 2004-2009). She had recounted an experience where she goes through the experiences in her life and how a long time was spent being a lesbian, but when she fell in love with a man she had a personal crisis regarding what her identity was now and how she still felt about Lesbian and how it still felt applicable despite the new attraction. That was the first instance I personally had of the concept, 'maybe the identity doesn't resonate with you anymore but it still feels right because the culture of that identity was intrinsic to you'. I didn't talk about it much because being cishet having any insight on lesbian identity is often met with extreme hostility, (I know Erica herself received a lot of backlash at the time over it.) and just in general I didn't have many 'use cases' to formulate my thoughts.
As the years went on and I had more and more trans friends in my life, both people transitioned and others new to finding themselves, and in interacting with them I found more instances this disconnect between the identity and culture of a label. A few would mention feelings of crisis when they felt longing for spaces where they were a different gender, fearing it undermined or somehow canceled out their current identity. Things like "I still feel at home at the thought of girly sleepovers, does that mean I'm not really a boy?" an oversimplification of course but you get the idea. And I was thinking to myself 'no, those feelings of longing and comfort are not some sign that, that identity from the past is you, it's because they were good experiences in that culture and it is unrelated to your identity'. And this solidified my perception: Labels can be both identity and culture.
This experience most commonly happens when people go from having their formative experiences in one label's space and then flip to another label's space. If you had a good time, of course you're going to have a nostalgia, comfort, or fondness for those spaces, but that comfort and familiarity doesn't mean the identity that was associated with that space still applies to you, but the culture absolutely does. In more common experiences, growing up in certain religions might make you resonate with the religion's culture you grew up with (if your experiences were positive), even though you've long since left the faith and no longer ascribe to it. There's a lot about LDS culture I grew up with that I do miss, and sometimes I find myself still going 'we' when referring to Mormons or talking about the stuff I used to do, but it is very much not a part of my identity and hasn't been since I was about 17. But the culture? The culture is absolutely still there in my experiences and my inclination, it's still something I look back on with fondness and there are aspects about it that still hang around in my life to this day. *motions to the fact that she's been journaling since she was 8, an extremely Mormon culture thing*.
Labels are both Identity and Culture. A label can be used to signify to yourself and to others what you are, it can be affirming things that are intrinsic to you so that you can share them easily with others. But, a label might resonate with you not just because of the identity others associate with it, but because the space and culture it provided were things that either meant something to you, or fit exactly the kind of space and culture you had been looking for, even if the identity it's supposed to represent, didn't line up. And in the inverse, a label's meaning might be exactly you, but the culture might not be what you're looking for and that's not an indication that you can't have that label but rather that you don't fit the culture of the label, but that doesn't mean you have to avoid the label if it really resonates with you, and it's fine to admit Yes to the label, and No to the culture. That can often feel hollow, of course, people often look for camaraderie in their labels and find distress when there is none, but it's an option that is available for those that it makes sense to.
I think recognizing that disconnect between Label the Identity and Label the Culture, would to a lot of good for people finding themselves and really identify what they're looking for both in themselves, what they want to represent themselves, and what culture is comfortable to them. As well as acknowledge the complicated and varied experiences we all have as people and why even though there are Majority Agreed-Upon Words That Represents Something, it does not apply to all people in the same way.
This entry was originally posted at https://armaina.dreamwidth.org/773500.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
This thought first came to me way back when I was reading Erica Moen's Dar Comic some time in the mid-2000's (it ran between 2004-2009). She had recounted an experience where she goes through the experiences in her life and how a long time was spent being a lesbian, but when she fell in love with a man she had a personal crisis regarding what her identity was now and how she still felt about Lesbian and how it still felt applicable despite the new attraction. That was the first instance I personally had of the concept, 'maybe the identity doesn't resonate with you anymore but it still feels right because the culture of that identity was intrinsic to you'. I didn't talk about it much because being cishet having any insight on lesbian identity is often met with extreme hostility, (I know Erica herself received a lot of backlash at the time over it.) and just in general I didn't have many 'use cases' to formulate my thoughts.
As the years went on and I had more and more trans friends in my life, both people transitioned and others new to finding themselves, and in interacting with them I found more instances this disconnect between the identity and culture of a label. A few would mention feelings of crisis when they felt longing for spaces where they were a different gender, fearing it undermined or somehow canceled out their current identity. Things like "I still feel at home at the thought of girly sleepovers, does that mean I'm not really a boy?" an oversimplification of course but you get the idea. And I was thinking to myself 'no, those feelings of longing and comfort are not some sign that, that identity from the past is you, it's because they were good experiences in that culture and it is unrelated to your identity'. And this solidified my perception: Labels can be both identity and culture.
This experience most commonly happens when people go from having their formative experiences in one label's space and then flip to another label's space. If you had a good time, of course you're going to have a nostalgia, comfort, or fondness for those spaces, but that comfort and familiarity doesn't mean the identity that was associated with that space still applies to you, but the culture absolutely does. In more common experiences, growing up in certain religions might make you resonate with the religion's culture you grew up with (if your experiences were positive), even though you've long since left the faith and no longer ascribe to it. There's a lot about LDS culture I grew up with that I do miss, and sometimes I find myself still going 'we' when referring to Mormons or talking about the stuff I used to do, but it is very much not a part of my identity and hasn't been since I was about 17. But the culture? The culture is absolutely still there in my experiences and my inclination, it's still something I look back on with fondness and there are aspects about it that still hang around in my life to this day. *motions to the fact that she's been journaling since she was 8, an extremely Mormon culture thing*.
Labels are both Identity and Culture. A label can be used to signify to yourself and to others what you are, it can be affirming things that are intrinsic to you so that you can share them easily with others. But, a label might resonate with you not just because of the identity others associate with it, but because the space and culture it provided were things that either meant something to you, or fit exactly the kind of space and culture you had been looking for, even if the identity it's supposed to represent, didn't line up. And in the inverse, a label's meaning might be exactly you, but the culture might not be what you're looking for and that's not an indication that you can't have that label but rather that you don't fit the culture of the label, but that doesn't mean you have to avoid the label if it really resonates with you, and it's fine to admit Yes to the label, and No to the culture. That can often feel hollow, of course, people often look for camaraderie in their labels and find distress when there is none, but it's an option that is available for those that it makes sense to.
I think recognizing that disconnect between Label the Identity and Label the Culture, would to a lot of good for people finding themselves and really identify what they're looking for both in themselves, what they want to represent themselves, and what culture is comfortable to them. As well as acknowledge the complicated and varied experiences we all have as people and why even though there are Majority Agreed-Upon Words That Represents Something, it does not apply to all people in the same way.
This entry was originally posted at https://armaina.dreamwidth.org/773500.html. Please comment there using OpenID.